Interjecting My Own Personal Feelings

¶ … interjecting my own personal feelings and biases into the equation, because my own judgments are always grounded in wisdom. But a more accurate and self-critical assessment of my persuasive strategies would be to say that I use a mix of pathos, ethos, and logos, or emotion, ethical appeals, and reason, to convince people that I am right during an argument or when I am attempting to make my case before a neutral or negative listener. The degree to which I use such strategies depends upon my audience and the context in which I am speaking. Finding the right persuasive mix can be as delicate as finding the perfect recipe for a souffle, and the final product can fall just as quickly if not sustained with the right ingredients, mixed at the right time.

To take two examples from my own life, when I had first learned how to drive and wanted to use one of my parents' cars, I was more apt to use logic when persuading my parents that I was a responsible driver and that it would be a good idea to give me the keys for the evening. I pointed out that unless I had practice, I was unlikely to become a good driver in the future. If I improved my driving skills, I could also later drive myself to work or school, lessening their burden. A strong driving record would enable me to take part in better employment father from home, work more frequently and work longer hours, and participate in more extracurricular activities. I wanted to seem level-headed when making my request, not seem like a whiny teen who did not understand that driving a car was a serious responsibility.

A also noted, when I needed the car for the entire evening, that if someone I was with drank or did something I did not approve of, I would be able to easily get home without being reliant on someone else's wheels. I would make reference to the fact that I had handled the car responsibly in the past, without a scratching or denting the vehicle. Of course, if I had not been a responsible driver in the past and my parents were more worried that I would be the individual drinking or behaving badly in my group of friends, my logical appeals would have fallen upon deaf ears. For logical appeals to work, they must be substantiated with believable evidence and verified with examples from history.

I do not always use logical appeals when dealing with my parents, I must confess. For example, sometimes I am at my parents' home, and I want to have take-out like pizza for Sunday dinner, or for my mother to make one of my special, favorite meals. I know, from seeing what is defrosting in the refrigerator that my mother has a very ordinary, healthy meal prepared for the family that evening, a meal that I don't particularly feel like eating. So I will use emotional appeals to sway her mind. I will point out that I am home less frequently, now that I am older, and that we seldom get to eat together as a family. I ask the rhetorical question: wouldn't it be nice if we could get something special as a treat, to celebrate the fact we are together? I will also use ethical appeals that are likely to resonate with my mother, noting that she is tired and overworked because of her difficulties balancing work, home, and other commitments, and point out that she deserves to treat herself to hamburgers and French Fries -- and that if she gets take-out, this will be easier for her to prepare. Or I might note that my favorite spaghetti and meatballs will be easier to get ready, with my assistance, than the chicken, broccoli and rice that is on the menu instead.

The topic, whether serious or not very serious, personal or impersonal, affects my rhetorical strategy. When debating politics, I am more likely to use logic than an emotional appeal, which I may use when 'whining' for a treat. The audience affects my strategy, too. My father is less likely to be receptive to emotion, unlike my mother, for example, and my mother is also more prone to be 'guilt tripped' into doing something than my father. With my father, it is best to try to make it seem as if he has come up with the solution, not me. If I want some help with car repairs, instead of stating ' my car needs to be fixed, can I borrow some money to go to the mechanic,' it is better to ask him, 'do you think that my car needs to be taken to the shop, or can you help me fix its funny noise?' Then, when he sees he has no idea how to fix it, he may feel slightly ashamed, and come down with me to the shop, and perhaps even 'help me out' with what I anticipate to be an expensive repair.

Even the time of day and my assessment of the audience's mood can affect my strategy, especially if I am speaking to someone. Sending an email or a letter, the communicator cannot assess the audience's mind when reading the appeal. When speaking, I am unlikely to raise a contentious or serious issue with someone who is tired, angry, or who has had a bad day, unless their specific problems may make them more receptive to my needs, like my weary mother not wanting to cook a slow-roasting chicken for dinner.