¶ … integrate speakers into baby car seats, there is not enough information provided as to how adding speakers will benefit the baby and how the speakers will benefit the parent. Furthermore, Michelle does not list any consequences or drawbacks to the integration of speakers to car seats. Below is a detailed breakdown of each paragraph and the strengths and weaknesses of each. Beginning with the opening paragraph, Michelle establishes that she will be writing about car seats and gives a brief overview of the history of car seats. However, the opening paragraph is missing a clear and concise thesis that argues that car seat speakers would be an added benefit to the already protective device. Moreover, the last sentence of the paragraph is muddled and does not establish a clear stance on the integration of speakers to car seats, but rather posits a hypothesis. The...

Also, while Michelle contends that the reader needs to understand the mechanics of car seats, she does not provide any specific details as to what differentiates each car seat from the other. It would be suggested that Michelle include specific details about the car seats and what requirements need to be met before a child is moved up to the next type of seat.
The third paragraph needs to be reworked in its entirety. The paragraph is also too instructional rather than informative. Michelle needs to write the paragraph so that she establishes that building the car seat in a certain way will…