Interview and biography of an elderly person

Elderly

Edna Diamond is a 78-year-old female. Like most seniors, Diamond loves to tell stories and freely answered questions during this interview. Diamond agreed to speak to me about her personal feelings and experiences with the aging process. The following partial transcript and biography elucidates some of the ways seniors experience and address change.

At what age did you become conscious of the aging process; at what point did you start "feeling old"?

I think when I turned 40 it hit me that I wasn't young anymore. I had started noticing changes in my body a few years before that but until I turned 40 I didn't actually feel old. I think that was because so many people place a strong emphasis on birthdays and turning 40 is a landmark. That's when people start making jokes about our age and making fun of you. My husband is a few years older than I am too and I had already started hearing him talk about getting old. I'd look in the mirror and start seeing wrinkles and then, it seemed that my life just sped up.

When you turned 40, what physical aspects of the aging process were you most aware of or most concerned with? Did you have any health problems at this time?

No, I have actually been quite healthy all my life. Now of course I grapple with a few issues but really I didn't go through any health problems until the past three or four years. I played tennis throughout my life, and continued playing well into my late 60s. I also swam and we travel a lot so we do a lot of walking and moving around. Physically, I am been blessed with good genes because my mother lived to be 95 and I'm still hanging in there, living on my own thank God. However, my husband was not as lucky as I was so I was aware of many of the issues other people deal with when they get older. He had always been a little weaker than I was in terms of his immune system and his overall health. He exercised too but complained a lot about stomach problems. One day the doctor told him he had high blood pressure and put him on some medication. After that we both started to eat healthier foods and cut out meat from our diets entirely. He lost a lot of weight, I didn't really need to. I still eat a lot of fish but in general we don't eat many fried foods or anything like that. I knew that getting older meant not being able to get away with some of the things we can do when we're young, like drinking alcohol or eating junk food. So we both cut down on all those things. Sure, we still drink wine now and then but we never really drink if you know what I mean.

Did either of you contend with major life changes such as deaths in the family, career changes, divorce, or anything of that sort during your middle years?

Oh, well both my husband's parents died before his 65th birthday. My father died when I was in my late 50s so those were pretty traumatic but then again, not really because we expected it in all those cases. Still, yes, I would say those were major life changes because it brought up a lot of stuff with our families. I never got along with my older sister so when my father died we fought over who got what in his will and till this day we don't talk to each other. She's in a nursing home and I mean to visit her but that's a whole other story. My daughter and I have had our problems. During that time I think she was going through her first divorce and I never really approved of her lifestyle. She lives far away, though, so that kind of makes things easier to deal with. Now my husband had his own set of family problems which of course became my family problems as soon as I married him. His parents divorced when he was a kid so he's always had to maintain the two different relationships, which I believe can be very stressful in itself. He has one brother who he sees fairly often but they've had their problems. I try not to get involved but it's impossible. My brother-in-law, he's a bit of a cad, you know, always has his hand in some shady affair or another. My husband and he pretend to like each other but behind each other's backs they talk poorly. Anyway, my work has never been an issue or a source of discontent. I was an artist all my life and always enjoyed myself and I'm still producing. And my husband was a trial lawyer his whole life and was still trying cases when he turned 70.

Biography

Edna Diamond has lived a life that has been both unconventional and traditional. Her parents raised her and her three brothers in New York. Diamond described her parents as being strict but not overbearing. They instilled in her a sense of self-discipline and an appreciation for hard work that remained with her throughout her life. The core values taught to Edna by her parents enabled her to succeed against all odds as an artist. She has few memories of the Depression and does not know how it might have affected her parents, who immigrated to the United States from Eastern Europe in 1916. Diamond's family is Jewish. Although her religious upbringing has affected her identity and character development, Diamond has more recently embraced Eastern spiritual practices including yoga and Buddhist meditation.

Diamond doesn't take anything for granted. She doesn't have a sense of entitlement even though she has enjoyed fiscal freedom throughout her life and never experienced financial hardship. When she goes through something difficult she tends to keep her feelings to herself without complaining. Her stoic parents imparted her strong sense of self, which has also manifested as stubbornness throughout her life. Even though Diamond claims to be stubborn, she has rolled with life's changes with aplomb, turning potentially traumatic situations into opportunities for growth.

Her childhood was uneventful. She attended Brooklyn College for Fine Arts and when she was 22 married her husband Elliot. She and Elliot have one daughter, Deborah, who was born in 1952. Her relationship with her daughter Deborah has been the greatest cause of stress in Edna's life for several reasons. First, Edna and Deborah have vastly different personalities. Second, Edna had not agreed with or supported her daughter's life choices. One of the defining features of Edna's senior years has been making peace with her daughter and accepting their differences.

Deborah was divorced twice. The first marriage was a disaster, as her husband beat her. To escape the abuse, Deborah moved in with her parents when Edna was in her 50s. Adjusting to having her 32-year-old daughter in the house was difficult for Edna, who cites that year as one of the worst of her life. This experience would end up having a profoundly positive affect on Edna, inspiring her to volunteer at a local women's shelter. Moreover, she and her husband donate money to two major national women's organizations.

Deborah found a job in Boston and moved out, remarrying within three years. Edna did not approve of her daughter's second husband, which became a significant source of friction between the mother and daughter. For about two years Edna barely heard from her daughter, who still kept in touch regularly with Elliot. Edna was never a nurturing, doting mother. She raised Deborah much as she was raised herself: with loving discipline. Deborah was "daddy's little girl" when she was a child and remains so till this day.

Edna's middle years were characterized by alternative lifestyles, socializing, and mixing with others in the New York art community. However, Edna always cultivated her inner life, never becoming too involved in the drugs scene that swirled around her. She and her husband enjoyed partying in the 1960s but neither of them was seduced by the lifestyle. Socializing has always been a big part of Edna's life. As an artist, she has relied on networking with others to enhance her career and opportunities for marketing her work. Her husband's successful career as an attorney opened up other interesting avenues of social interaction. The Diamonds associate with people from all walks of life because of their worldly attitudes and lifestyle. Because her husband's income was sufficient throughout the first few decades of their marriage, Edna used that time to forge her career as an artist. By the time she was 40 she was well-known within the community and earned a decent income on her own.

An artist, Edna has used her work as the primary means for her self-expression. During tough times she turns to her work, which often reflects the changes that she goes through. For example, Edna's color palate changes and the media she uses changes regularly, often revealing her state of mind before she is aware of it herself. Art has been one of Edna's main sources of stability. Edna appreciates her solitude. Even though she and her husband have always had a lot of friends, Edna prefers to be alone and frequently spends all day in her art studio, which is a large shed on their property.

In her 50s Edna started to become more active in her community. Her daughter's experience with spousal abuse inspired Edna to volunteer at a local women's shelter, where she continues to volunteer today. Passionate about the environment, Edna has served on more than one public council on community beautification and petitioned the city to expand its recycling program. In addition to her campaign for improved sanitation services with the city, Diamond has also served on beautification committees focused on planning community gardens and green spaces. Diamond learned how to care for orchids in her spare time during her senior years.

At once sociable and introverted, Edna has gone through several phases in her life. She acclaims her ability to adapt to change, noting that her strict upbringing helped her to deal with tough times in healthy ways. She and her husband have cultivated several close friendships throughout the years and often attend parties or go out for dinner with friends. When she reached her 5th decade, Edna sensed her worldview was changing. The changes occurring in her body were also affecting her mind and soul. She started reading about Eastern philosophy and enrolled in several classes locally to expand her awareness of spiritual values. One of her closest friends moved to Florida when Edna was around 60 years old, when she started to come to terms with the aging process. After her friend left the city, Edna and Elliot discussed moving to a more rural area. Within two years they purchased the house they live in now on Long Island. The move reflected their inner transformation from an extroverted, social lifestyle to one that was more peaceful, oriented toward quiet contemplation and nature.

Edna and Elliot have been married for fifty years now. Although they have shared both highs and lows, nothing remarkable has occurred during their marriage and they have never been near separation. Their relationship is intimate and yet they have consistently maintained personal independence. Edna, an artist who flourished during some of the most liberating eras for women in the United States, has never felt comfortable with traditional gender roles. Her relationship with her husband reflects egalitarian social values remarkable for individuals in their generation.