Happiness perspectives from two community members

Interviews -- Dennis and Phil

The interviews for this assignment were with my neighbor, Dennis, and a carpenter friend of his (Phil) whom I had never met prior to today. Dennis, 53, is married and has grown-up daughters raising families of their own. Dennis has a tree-trimming business and lives a few houses away from where I live. He regularly attends Christian worship services, he is an active member of the local Rotary club, and he goes to Mexico to help people who are still struggling to rebuild after the earthquake in 2011in Baja California.

Phil is a finish carpenter who has been working on redesigning Dennis's kitchen. He is 32 years old and has lived in this town his whole life. He is married, has two young boys, and his wife is a school teacher. He is very conservative politically and he is quick to express his displeasure at what he considers "liberal ideas" -- but he volunteers for a local wildlife rescue group, which of course is neither liberal or conservative.

Interview with Dennis

Question: So Dennis, your daughters seem to be very happy, healthy, well-adjusted people, did you and your wife bring them up to see the glass half full?

Response: No, not really. Linda and I both had great parents who were full of life and loved other people; we were taught to love and respect all people. We knew that ultimately we were their most important role models so the positive outlook we had rubbed off on them.

Question: What makes you happy? Do you ever consciously try to make Linda happy?

Response: I am happy when I am doing something for others and when I see results from a job well done or a deed well given. That's why Rotary is a big part of my life; we are constantly helping others in our community. I don't think I consciously say to myself, 'I'll make my wife happy today.' I just love her so much I intuitively and naturally do sweet things for her.

Question: Do you view happiness the same way now as you did when you were a boy?

Response: No, not at all. I was a good kid, but too often I thought about happiness that I needed and not enough perhaps about making others experience joy and happiness.

(D. Snyder, personal communication, August 18, 2012)

Interview with Phil

Question: What makes your older boy -- and your wife -- happy?

Response: My older boy is 10 now; he's really into electronics and math. I guess he's a geek, but he's a really bright student. He loves solving problems; that makes him happy. My wife is really happy when she's had a good day at school and we sit down to dinner together.

Question: What life experiences have you had that made you very happy growing up?

Response: I remember our neighbor's house caught on fire; they were safe but they lost nearly everything. Everyone in town chipped in, we had big fundraisers, and after they were able to move into their rebuilt house, I will never forget the happiness on the faces of that family.

Question: Is happiness a certain mood that can be created, or a response to an event?

Response: For me, happiness is seeing or doing something very positive for my family. I can make myself happy when I'm grumpy by doing a fantastic carpentry job for a customer!

(P. Anderson, personal communication, August 18, 2012).

In conclusion, the two individuals were very different but they both found happiness in their families. Seeing others being happy brings happiness -- that was a definite theme. The over-riding impression I got from both men was happiness results from doing something positive for others or seeing joy in the faces of others. Happiness was not a deeply philosophical idea in these interviews; it boiled down to being a response to others' happiness, or seeing something positive like Phil's son playing soccer (which was more exciting to him than his older son's enthusiasm for digital technologies).