Intimate Partner Violence Women Survivors

To remove women survivors of intimate partner violence to a stable and theological mindset

Introduction

Wife abuse is not desirable, but at times it is not inevitable. Many wife abuse incidences occur mainly in bad marriages. Domestic violence occurs to all women of all races, religions, and economic statuses, with many data showing the devastating effects of domestic violence on the wrecked women\\\\\\\'s lives. Men are also casualties of intimate partner violence, but women are more likely to be victims of the abuse[footnoteRef:1]. Many Christians think that abuse only occurs in non-Christians\\\\\\\' homes and poor marriages, but it happens to everyone. Domestic violence has been happening throughout the world for centuries, and many had considered it a family problem and not one that required intervention by the community. Many policies, statutory changes, domestic violence laws, and policies have increased due to people experiencing it worldwide. [1: Steven J Saul, The Response Of The Church To Domestic Violence, 2011]

Prohibiting domestic violence has become necessary to protect victims who experience violence at their intimate partners\\\\\\\' hands. The criminal justice system increases the risks and punishments to the people who carry out domestic violence by creating compulsory arrests for those who carry out abuse and having restriction orders to protect the domestic abuse victims from holding them accountable for their actions[footnoteRef:2]. There is an association between people who practice mass murders and other crimes with domestic violence victims. Features such as power and control, violent occurrences of rage, aggressiveness occur in many domestic violence victims[footnoteRef:3]. Many similar characteristics found in domestic violence crimes get found in people who commit crimes such as sexual assault, damage to properties, murders, and thefts. [2: Samantha Hackbarth, An Exploratory Study Of The Prevalence Of Domestic Violence Related Criminal History And Gender Within A Sample If Inmates In Minnesota Minnesota: St. Cloud State University, 2018.] [3: Phyllis Holditch Niolon et al., \\\\\\\"Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across The Lifespan: A Technical Package Of Programs, Policies, And Practices\\\\\\\", National Center For Injury Prevention And Control, 2017.]

Wife abuse is depressing and something that most people opt not to think about it. Many people who go through such a situation believe that God has abandoned them; as Psalms 22:1-5, David asks why the Lord has left him when he cries for help; there is no response everyday night. Despite the loneliness David feels, he remembers how his ancestors who put their trust in God got saved and, due to the confidence they had in God, were not disappointed. There are many counseling options for the victims by institutions such as churches, private organizations, and treatment programs that the government has established. Companies such as National Coalition against Domestic Violence and World Health Organization help address domestic violence[footnoteRef:4]. The church tends to disregard some issues, claiming that evangelism\\\\\\\'s the primary focus. Church leaders\\\\\\\' involvement in these issues is low, and human rights get overlooked, yet many leaders face similar problems in their marriages. With the increase in the number of people who experience domestic violence, the church has stopped overlooking the issue that affects people outside the church. They have started recognizing it as an issue that affects even the church members[footnoteRef:5]. [4: Steven J Saul, The Response Of The Church To Domestic Violence, 2011] [5: Kendra Lynn Yoder and Mary Jo Neitz, Churches Addressing Domestic Violence, 2013.]

Christians are not immune to abuse and can also be victims. Abuse is uncontrolled to a particular social structure, and that no matter the religious beliefs, they do not exempt anyone from being a victim. Domestic abuse is blind to age, social status, color, culture[footnoteRef:6]. The consequences of abuse affect families, children, friends, and the community. The family may be the most violent group that women and children.[footnoteRef:7]Violence is always present, and it exists in the social structure. The church offers compassion to the wounded individuals by encouraging them. In the book of 1st Corinthians 3;16-20, Paul states that we should dwell in God\\\\\\\'s temple, and He lives in it. The Lord\\\\\\\'s temple should be kept clean and holy; for anyone who destroys it, God will also kill him or her; most victims face life-threatening issues most of them turn to the scriptures, which guide them. [6: Phyllis Holditch Niolon et al., \\\\\\\"Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across The Lifespan: A Technical Package Of Programs, Policies, And Practices\\\\\\\", National Center For Injury Prevention And Control, 2017.] [7: Kendra Lynn Yoder and Mary Jo Neitz, Churches Addressing Domestic Violence, 2013]

The bible rules our faith and discipline. Often, wives get counseled to give their husbands freedom and accept him the way he is. They get told to respect and obey their husbands as that is what God has ordered. The misinterpretation of the scripture has influenced the community to think precise ways on the various situations that we encounter regarding domestic violence on women. Christian women get taught that their anger is only sinfulness, and they have to find ways to overcome it, yet the husband\\\\\\\'s anger gets treated as usual [footnoteRef:8]. The church faces a period of readjustments, revising its thinking and its certain conceptions of its nature and structure. It cannot rest until there is clarity on the effects and ways to address abuse. [8: Steven J Saul, The Response Of The Church To Domestic Violence, 2011]

Research shows that Christian religions\\\\\\\' patriarchal religion gets criticized as being conducive to women\\\\\\\'s submission, and it acts as a contributing factor to domestic violence in some families. Women can remain in abusive relationships and tolerate it just because of children and citing divorce\\\\\\\'s undesirability. The paper acknowledges the research on domestic violence in Christian families. It focuses specifically on supporting women survivors of intimate partner violence in promoting an emotional and theological mindset where they do not desire to remain in abusive relationships. It also focuses on how the church has contributed to domestic violence cases and how it can reduce them. Many programs help women keep themselves mentally and emotionally to avoid depression, anxiety, and PTSD. They provide hope to them in their dark days. Different families from different Christian denominations have initiated programs that encourage awareness of domestic violence and training of church leaders, pastors, and church communities on the appropriate responses to women who suffer from domestic violence. Catholic bishops and Anglican Church leaders have produced pastoral statements on violence against women and resource kits in their various parishes to initiate domestic violence awareness.

Historical perspective of gender-based violence

What is gender-based violence?

Domestic cruelty is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that one partner uses to maintain or gain power and control over an intimate partner[footnoteRef:9] . It can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions that influence another person\\\\\\\'s actions. Domestic abuse victims can include former and even current spouses, parents, and children. People related by blood, have been living together or raised together, people involved in a romantic relationship[footnoteRef:10]. Violence occurs in all socioeconomic issues, ages, sexual orientations, genders, religions, races, and nationalities. Every person has a negative effect caused by domestic violence and its impact. Factors that contribute to violence include; witnessing abuse as a child, drug abuse, low economic opportunities, conflict, and tension in a relationship. Male chauvinism, which is male control over all decisions and assets, lacks safe spaces for women, and a lack of punishment to those who practice violence contributes to domestic violence [footnoteRef:11]. Violence can lead to harm to the victims on various levels. Individually, many children experience violence from home, witnessing the violence practiced. [9: Dytisha Davis, Rehabilitation Counseling Master\\\\\\\'s Students: Beliefs And Attitudes About Domestic Violence Toward Women Lowa: University of Lowa, 2013.] [10: Oikoumene.Org, Last modified 2015, https://www.oikoumene.org/sites/default/files/File/Gender_Based_Violence_SM.pdf.] [11: Samantha Hackbarth, An Exploratory Study Of The Prevalence Of Domestic Violence Related Criminal History And Gender Within A Sample If Inmates In Minnesota Minnesota: St. Cloud State University, 2018.]

A historical perspective

Many nations have identified that violence is not unusual but impacts the countries from their earliest existence. Many records that have existed abuse have existed as long as relationships have. Many historical records are void of any women\\\\\\\'s activity. Women were rarely remembered as individuals, even when they did something memorable. In many societies, a woman was considered her man\\\\\\\'s property. There was no mention of a woman in the historical records as it was almost unbelievable for a woman to be anything more than a wife. Women\\\\\\\'s abuse started a long time ago with the first monogamous pairing of relationships where the women accepted and were subjected to their husbands by the church. Churches and courts provided counseling to increase their devotion to their husbands and submissiveness to avoid punishment.

Patriarchal systems

Patriarchal systems show the father\\\\\\\'s role as the head of the family. The culture cultivates the belief that a male presence was necessary to keep a woman from bringing shame to her family. Mothers were the weak ones; achieving status within the community required sacrifices. Most males were the authority figure, and the son is more important than the wife. The wife\\\\\\\'s most important role in these systems is to mother her children, nurture, and socialize them [footnoteRef:12]. She also had to take care of animals and ensure that her family was well fed and visited the home. The patriarchal system gets maintained by providing women with no legitimate ways of changing the institutions that support their inferiority. Maintaining strict control over women\\\\\\\'s activities and involvement in the church retains a robust patriarchal system [footnoteRef:13]. Christianity has provided moral support to this and has taught women how to fit in these marriages. [12: Samantha Hackbarth, An Exploratory Study Of The Prevalence Of Domestic Violence Related Criminal History And Gender Within A Sample If Inmates In Minnesota Minnesota: St. Cloud State University, 2018.] [13: Ariel Wootan Merlkling, \\\\\\\"dispelling domestic violence myths among graduate social work students\\\\\\\", 2014.]

Biblical records

Flawed families have existed since the fall over of humans to sin. Defective families, churches, and societies get distinguished by their inhuman rules that manipulate and control others. The rules get implemented to defraud people of their emotional, sexual and physical choices. From the Old Testament books, we see men purchasing their brides with her family\\\\\\\'s position determined by her fertility. Patriarchy tends to refer to women as a possession. They were defenseless, betrayed, and handed over to abusive men they had come to trust[footnoteRef:14]: their brothers and defiled women like Tamar. Nothing got done to these women, rather than emphasizing the men they had shamed. During Jesus\\\\\\\'s birth, the Jewish tradition had reduced women to a meager status. Women were forbidden from reading the Torah out loud, from even praying out loud in their homes. The women could get divorced by their husbands from as much as spoiling the food, said too loud, talked to another man in the street, or if the man had found someone more beautiful than her and she had no entitlement to any financial benefits included. [14: Oikoumene.Org, Last modified 2015, https://www.oikoumene.org/sites/default/files/File/Gender_Based_Violence_SM.pdf.]

Puritan community

As technology continued to evolve, many colonies put many rules that prohibited domestic abuse. Communities such as the puritan community understood domestic violence as a sin, and they used legal systems to enforce morality. It gets seen that even though the community saw wife-beating as illegal, the courts placed family preservation ahead of protecting the victims. The churches and courts engaged in victim-blaming, and the abused wife was of faults as her husband[footnoteRef:15]. The divorce cases due to domestic violence got dismissed, and the court blames the victim for the violence and the bible quoted to minimize the abuse[footnoteRef:16]. The legal system was then under pressure to change the laws that gave the government decreased laws that gave the church power, community involvement in families gets reduced, and domestic violence reduced until the activists brought it back in the 1840s temperance movement[footnoteRef:17]. The direction visualized mentally that the violence resulted from the problems with alcoholism. Many workers believed that alcohol was the sole cause of domestic abuse, and they thought that the removal of alcohol consumption would reduce the amount of violence[footnoteRef:18]. The movement was the first movement led by women for women\\\\\\\'s sake. It is seen as the removal of family preservation, and the encouragement of divorcing drunk husbands was a solution. The temperance promoted laws that would protect women from domestic violence and allow divorce as domestic shelters developed. [15: Pleck H, Domestic Tyranny The Making Of American Social Policy Against Family From Colonial Times To Present. Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 2004.] [16: Rambo S, Trivial Complaints: The Role Of Privacy In Domestic Violence Law And Activism In The US New York: Columbia University Press, 2009.] [17: Ibid,8] [18: Ibid,9]

Domestic violence received more attention in the 1970s. Women began to meet in small social groups and shared experiences and found that domestic violence was no unique problem but something inescapable. Many feminists spoke of their personal domestic violence experiences [footnoteRef:19]. They began to see domestic violence as an issue with its right, and a theory that domestic violence was rooted in power and control was developed[footnoteRef:20]. Solutions were provided, such as creating domestic shelters and creating public awareness and crisis lines. Many shelters got established, and the harbors started to resemble social service agencies, and professional social workers replaced the volunteers. [19: Ibid,16] [20: Ibid,17]

Theories of domestic violence

With the recent technical analysis changes, activists developed theological theories that analyzed women\\\\\\\'s suffering and healing. The philosophers, theologians, offer their meaning of domestic violence causes. Liberation theories got created, and one such idea in feminist theory. The feminist theory shows a connection between the current inception of domestic violence and the origin of feminist movements. Historical links amid domestic violence and early feminism date back to the attestation period and continue to the women\\\\\\\'s rights movements of the 1970s. During this period, women became embittered with their sexism while working as people of influence in social causes[footnoteRef:21]. They formed groups that shared experiences and created understandings of women\\\\\\\'s experiences. Most women began to share experiences and stories on rape in these groups. These groups\\\\\\\' influence focused on learning and visualizing mentally on rape and domestic violence as power and control issues. [21: Ariel Wootan Merlkling, \\\\\\\"dispelling domestic violence myths among graduate social work students\\\\\\\", 2014.]

Feminist theory

The feminist theory of domestic violence is a historical show of mark domination showed within the family. It got augmented by institutions and the sexist labor division in the entrepreneur society[footnoteRef:22]. As applied to domestic violence, the theory shows an understanding of domestic violence to maintain power and control in an intimate relationship. It places the violence\\\\\\\'s responsibility on the executioner\\\\\\\'s shoulders, and the victims do not get the blame. Not many social workers and social work professors are comfortable with the feminist theory perspective. It has similar strengths to the current ethical guidelines of the profession. The theory has faced many criticisms from women of color who criticized universal sisterhood ideas. [22: Ariel Wootan Merlkling, \\\\\\\"dispelling domestic violence myths among graduate social work students\\\\\\\", 2014.]

Adult learning theory

The second theory is the adult learning theory. It helps most art and science students learn; the approach shows that adult learners\\\\\\\' needs should be different from the child learners\\\\\\\' needs, teaching styles, and methods that accommodate the differences. Adult learners have specific characteristics, such as the need to know that differentiate them from child learners. They need to understand the potential benefits of learning and the adverse effects of not learning. Most adult learners see that they have a responsibility and independence, creating a better environment[footnoteRef:23]. Many adult learners have personal experiences and bring them to places of sharing. The facilitators see this as a strength and provide activities that guide the group. [23: Ariel Wootan Merlkling, \\\\\\\"dispelling domestic violence myths among graduate social work students\\\\\\\", 2014.]

They are all ready to learn and have a lot of internal pressure that motivates them rather than the external motivators. The theory\\\\\\\'s bottom line image is for adults to understand why adequate domestic violence interventions are necessary. Participating in a self-directed observational learning process shows the participants the self-concept of being independent. Many of the participants engage in group sessions that allow learners to share their experiences. Coming up with similar situations to those of individuals and families that experience domestic violence shows the learners to see the common sense behind the knowledge and work application in their lives.

Scripture and domestic-based violence

\\\\\\\"My God, My God, why have you abandoned me? I have cried desperately for help, but he does not come. During the day, I call you my God, but you do not answer; I call at night but get no rest\\\\\\\" (Psalms 22:1-5)[footnoteRef:24]. The Psalm begins with a disturbing scene of someone who has trusted God and knows him gets forsaken, and he cries out to the Lord in agony. The first words in the chapter are the exact words that Jesus said when at the cross, asking God why God has forsaken him. The writer of the Psalm is a person who is going through the suffering of others. David cries to the Lord, rather than responding to the psalmist\\\\\\\'s desperate cry; God seems to have forsaken him. Rather than helping, he remains at a distance far away[footnoteRef:25]. God does not even hear the psalmist\\\\\\\'s cry as at night nor day time He does not answer. The image present here shows a pained and wretched cry that almost resembles the roar of a lion. The cry is the pain of a sufferer as he asked God to remove the cup before him. The psalmist continues to complain about how God does not answer his continuous cry. The believer may call to God for refuge and as the protector when one faces enemies who would mistreat him. God longs to ease the believer\\\\\\\'s burden and rescue him when he is in trouble. [24: Psalms 22.1 Good news bible ] [25: Richard D. Patterson, \\\\\\\"Psalm 22:From Trial To Triumph\\\\\\\", JETS, 2004, 213-33.]

The same cry gets done by a woman who suffers from domestic violence. She wonders why the Lord has forsaken her. The troubled believer has confidence that when he calls out to the Lord in his desolation and he expects God to deliver him as it is stated, \\\\\\\"The Lord reached down from above and took hold of me and he pulled me out of the deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemies and from those who hate-they were too strong for me. When I was in trouble, they attacked me, but the Lord protected me. He helped me out of danger; he saved me because he was pleased with me.\\\\\\\" (Psalms 18:16-19)[footnoteRef:26]. God requires the believers to trust in him to receive the instructions and guidance from him in their daily lives. [26: Psalms 18;16-19(Good news bible)]

The answer may have a negative side effect where God seems to be deficient in the others\\\\\\\' concern in need. God cannot honor the condition of those who pray; instead, one places themselves in danger of the divine judgment. David reminds himself of God\\\\\\\'s holy nature and the goodness that God had done to his ancestors because God is the holy one, the only God of Israel[footnoteRef:27]. Even though God does not listen to David\\\\\\\'s cry, he reminds himself of how he fulfilled the promises of those who trusted in him, giving him hope. [27: Richard D. Patterson, \\\\\\\"Psalm 22:From Trial To Triumph\\\\\\\", JETS, 2004, 213-33.]

The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and should take care of it. Jesus Christ was loyal to the church, who were his disciples whom he defended, prayed for, and prepared to spread the gospel. Today Jesus remains faithful to his disciples, and although we are weak, foolish, and make mistakes, He sticks by us. How many times have we presented ourselves in situations that make us question our love for God? How much God loves the church? Christians should value the church because God resides in it. Paul asks, \\\\\\\"Do you know that you are God\\\\\\\'s temple, and God\\\\\\\'s Spirit lives in you?\\\\\\\" (1st Corinthians 3;16)[footnoteRef:28]. The question is a scathing rebuke that shows the Corinthians\\\\\\\' failures do not recognize who they are. When he talks about this passage, Paul does not talk about the individual Christian, but he talks about the local church. The previous verses talk about how God holds us responsible for the materials we use to build his church with Jesus Christ as the foundation[footnoteRef:29]. It says that those who create using the suitable materials and place the correct foundation receive rewards, but those who build haphazardly will find their works burned during judgment. [28: 1st Corinthians 3;16(Good news bible)] [29: Keith Krell, \\\\\\\"Warning: Don\\\\\\\'t Touch The Temple!\\\\\\\" (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) Washington: The Lockman Foundation, 2007.]

Paul views the local church as the temple of the Lord where it may signify the entire temple, including the courtyard or the sanctuary where the Holy of hollies lies in which anyone rather than the high priest could not enter it. He explains that the Holy Spirit dwells in the church, where the believers gather to worship and have fellowship with the Holy Spirit to create unity, confirm truths, and minister truths. Many Christians dismiss the church\\\\\\\'s importance and argue that where two or more people are gathered in Jesus\\\\\\\' name, He is present. Therefore many people think of not attending the church—the verse deals with church discipline rather than individual worship. Although a person\\\\\\\'s salvation depends on church attendance, the churches\\\\\\\' maturity depends on it[footnoteRef:30]. Paul opens our eyes to God\\\\\\\'s realities in the church and values the church. In 1st Corinthians 3; 17[footnoteRef:31], it says that \\\\\\\"if anyone destroys the church, God will destroy him for Gods temple is holy and you yourselves are the temple\\\\\\\" The church is of high priority that God will go to any lengths to protect and preserve it. [30: Keith Krell, \\\\\\\"Warning: Don\\\\\\\'t Touch The Temple!\\\\\\\" (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) Washington: The Lockman Foundation, 2007.] [31: 1st Corinthians 3; 17(Good news bible)]

Many people wonder who the temple destroyers were and that those who destroyed the temple were non-believers. The only problem with the view is that only Christians get mentioned in the context. The interpretation is that most believers are under consideration, as many may find it hard to believe that many Christians can destroy local churches. It means that the greatest threat comes from within, not from outside. The biggest threats are the people who attend the church, not outsiders. Churches get destroyed by divisions that exist in the church. Divisions come from preaching denominations, with everyone having their favorite preacher resulting in divisions in the body of Christ. Verbal wars lead to other sins like gossip and slander. In churches, some sow seeds of dissatisfaction when there is a chance of criticizing some program leaders in the church they do it [footnoteRef:32]. Some churches condemn women who go through domestic violence to suffer alone rather than face criticism from their friends and community members. [32: Ibid,4]

Church makes the church impressive and powerful by the world\\\\\\\'s standards, polluting and damaging the church. Someone becomes consumed with particular doctrines and emphasizes the specific theology above all others, destroying the others. Throughout time churches have split over different theology and methodology, causing unnecessary division[footnoteRef:33]. Most of the church leaders destroy churches by preaching false doctrines. Many women site that religion is a factor that influences violence against them as some of them cite that the churches are the significant environments that encourage and choose not to act on the violence issues. Various doctrines exist, with many churches offering to help those in need while still registering domestic violence is taboo for discussion[footnoteRef:34]. Paul noted that most of the Corinthians were building with worthless building materials, creating a rickety foundation. Many churches have died as many people are unwilling to hold the church and continue with its ministry. [33: Keith Krell, \\\\\\\"Warning: Don\\\\\\\'t Touch The Temple!\\\\\\\" (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) Washington: The Lockman Foundation, 2007.] [34: Leonie Westenberg, \\\\\\\"‘When She Calls For Help’—Domestic Violence In Christian Families\\\\\\\", Social Sciences 6, no. 3 (2017): 71, doi:10.3390/socsci6030071.]

Destroying the church is a serious thing as God says he will kill the person who destroys the church. God\\\\\\\'s punishments range from death, sickness, separation from the nation. God gets pissed off when someone destroys his church. When someone sees a ruined temple, one concludes that God\\\\\\\'s character is damaging his reputation. Satan destroys God\\\\\\\'s reputation and image, but he does not waste his name. His judgment falls to everyone who does not keep it holy. If God\\\\\\\'s temple is sacred, and we are the temple, God cannot tolerate sin, and those who sin get judged. Local churches require much respect from many Christians today[footnoteRef:35]. Many women tend to remain or return to abusive relationships citing the church and religious beliefs to support such decisions[footnoteRef:36] . Many Christian women who return to such relationships tend to display a tendency to use Christian symbols to explain and tolerate abuse and to remain in such relationships. The church also offers hope to those who have experienced domestic violence, and they opt to turn to Christ since Paul teaches the Corinthians that we are all partners who work together for God. [35: Keith Krell, \\\\\\\"Warning: Don\\\\\\\'t Touch The Temple!\\\\\\\" (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) Washington: The Lockman Foundation, 2007.] [36: Leonie Westenberg, \\\\\\\"‘When She Calls For Help’—Domestic Violence In Christian Families\\\\\\\", Social Sciences 6, no. 3 (2017): 71, doi:10.3390/socsci6030071.]

Moving survivors of domestic violence to emotional and theological mindsets

Moving survivors of this kind of violence from their mindsets of returning and persevering to abuse relationships to emotional and theological perspectives where they do not accept or desire to remain in abusive relationships is a challenging task. Legislators and funders have established domestic violence victim programs to demonstrate that they are making a critical difference in the lives of those who use their services[footnoteRef:37]. These support groups do screening to identify people at risk of disease and remain undetected. Too many victims screening is to increase the victim\\\\\\\'s identification and support the exposure of violence and related problems. Educational programs on acts of violence are taught to many support staff and ensuring that there is mandatory reporting of the victims. Support groups promote the victim\\\\\\\'s self-sufficiency as it gets diminished by the partner\\\\\\\'s ridicule, control, and domination. Similar community responses to encourage self-efficiency in members may make the situation worse [footnoteRef:38]. To recognize self-determination and agency are socially situated and get primarily influenced by a person\\\\\\\'s history, current and past relationships, location, and community\\\\\\\'s cultural context. [37: Eman Alkobaty, Expert Meeting On Health-Sector Responses To Violence Against Women Geneva: World Health Organisation, 2009.] [38: Cris M. Sullivan, \\\\\\\"Understanding How Domestic Violence Support Services Promote Survivor Well-Being: A Conceptual Model\\\\\\\", no. 201833 (2018): 123–131, doi: DOI 10.1007/s10896-017-9931-6.]

Helping a victim maintain control over decisions and actions occurs in many circumstantial frameworks, and it happens in the review of the survivor\\\\\\\'s family, community, and cultural needs[footnoteRef:39]. The extent one feels hopeful creates a bright tomorrow, and the individual ability influences it to crave successful pathways related to the goals. Hope gets interrelated with a person\\\\\\\'s self-efficiency. Promoting a mindset, a person\\\\\\\'s willingness to do what is necessary to maintain and regain health and well-being should get observed. Having high hope that something will be okay reduces PTSD, anxiety, and depression[footnoteRef:40]. To increase expectancy in the victim\\\\\\\'s programs that include components such as those that comprise the staff assisting in meeting the victim\\\\\\\'s goals and emphasizing the spirituality and well-being of a person is determined. They are the main components of any domestic violence program. [39: Phyllis Holditch Niolon et al., \\\\\\\"Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across The Lifespan: A Technical Package Of Programs, Policies, And Practices\\\\\\\", National Center For Injury Prevention And Control, 2017.] [40: Ibid,3]

While self-efficiency and hopefulness are directly related to well-being, interpersonal and social factors are also important determinants of domestic violence programs. Social factors that connect to the adults and children\\\\\\\'s well-being are financial and housing stability, safety, community supports, and access to health care. Most of these programs\\\\\\\' goals are to cause positive impacts on both survivors and their children\\\\\\\'s social and emotional well-being. They work to increase the victim\\\\\\\'s and their children\\\\\\\'s sense of self-efficiency and hope in the future and increase their access to community resources, opportunities, and support[footnoteRef:41]. Most of the existing programs may differ across many organizations as some offer counseling, shelter, advocacy, children programs, and support groups for both women and children[footnoteRef:42]. Most community programs\\\\\\\' staff members provide information on the adult\\\\\\\'s and children\\\\\\\'s survivors\\\\\\\' rights, options, and experiences; they help in safety planning, building skills, offering counsel, and offering encouragement, empathy, and respect by increasing access to community resources and opportunities. Community change and systems change help most abuse victims. Reforming legal frameworks and strengthening women\\\\\\\'s rights in divorce, property, and child support reduces domestic violence. [41: Claudia Garcia-Moreno, Alessandra Guedes and Wendy Knerr, \\\\\\\"Understanding And Addressing Violence Against Women\\\\\\\", Apps.Who.Int, Last modified 2012, https://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/handle/10665/77432/WHO_RHR_12.36_eng.pdf;sequence=1.] [42: Cris M. Sullivan, \\\\\\\"Understanding How Domestic Violence Support Services Promote Survivor Well-Being: A Conceptual Model\\\\\\\", no. 201833 (2018): 123–131, doi: DOI 10.1007/s10896-017-9931-6.]

Expansion and refinement of domestic violence

In her book, a battered woman\\\\\\\'s language, Carol Winkelman portrays an abused woman\\\\\\\'s experience. She describes how many women often use religion to explain their abuse. Many women\\\\\\\'s bodies are often the living proofs of the pain they have gone through. They have black eyes, bruises, broken limbs, knives, and gunshot wounds from experiences most women opt not to remember. The women\\\\\\\'s bodies have brutal marks of where they got pushed out of moving vehicles, balconies, downstairs, those who got raped with bottles, sticks, and women who got chained to beds[footnoteRef:43]. The pain and suffering are not always visible. [43: Carol Lea Winkelmann, The Language Of Battered Women Albany: State University of New York Press, 2004.]

A miscarriage hides a history of their swollen pregnant bellies getting kicked. Most women suffer from many emotional and psychological problems. The women endure physical and mental abuse; the beatings accompanied by verbal and non-verbal abuse lead to suicide, anxiety, and depression. Most of the pain experienced is primarily secret, in silence, as the shame accompanied by being a victim of domestic violence is big[footnoteRef:44]. The women endure most of the suffering under closed doors. [44: Carol Lea Winkelmann, The Language Of Battered Women Albany: State University of New York Press, 2004.]

Psalms 22 begins with an emotional pain asking why God has abandoned him. Many people cling to the last resort, asking God why he has forsaken, clinging to the last straw of hope that he will not fail into despair. Many women who go through this pain cry to the Lord every time, asking themselves why them why God had left them at a difficult period in their life. If a woman blames God for her suffering, she has driven away from God, making God accountable for her violence, making the abuser less vulnerable. If God is to be held responsible for the violence, then religion and religious institutions are not held accountable. Some women felt blamed God that He had not protected them from their abuser. She blames God that he had led her straight into it; she asks herself if God was not supposed to protect her from the trouble.

They talk a lot to God in the hope he hears their prayers. Many of these women have very little to fight for as they are running away from their failed relationships and households with very little to offer rather than material support. Many women got cut away from their families, friends by depression, or abusers[footnoteRef:45]. Most women rely on God as they get taught from their childhoods. A woman who had been thrown out of a moving car by her husband after arguing whether she could visit her sister expresses how she believes in God; she believes that there will be a time when men will turn to God that he brings justice, whether now or later. Justification of the church\\\\\\\'s actions that a man should dominate a woman does not represent Jesus\\\\\\\' ministry where he teaches that He came that everyone may have life. Misinterpretation of the bible that the wives should obey their husbands and submit to them just as the church submits itself to Christ [footnoteRef:46]. Deception is never God\\\\\\\'s will but rather what people misinterpret. David, in Psalm 22:2, asks God why he is far from communicating his loneliness and helplessness when he faces difficult situations. [45: Ibid, 102] [46: Marie M. Fortune and Cindy G. Enger, \\\\\\\"Violence Against Women And The Role Of Religion\\\\\\\", National Online Resource Center On Violence Against Women, 2005.]

After various counseling sessions, she saw that blaming God was dealing with what she had gone through. Most women blame God for their different classes, religious backgrounds, and ethnicities. Most shelters do not blame God as they see he is the only one they have. A woman says that no matter what she has gone through, she is God\\\\\\\'s child, and she needs a get out of the relationship and have a better life for her and her kids. Despite everything they have, most women ask themselves what Jesus would have done. Jesus demonstrated a safe kind of love[footnoteRef:47]. As the Psalm of David continues, we see that God fulfills his promises that he promised to his forefathers, giving hope to those who feel like they have lost hope. [47: Chloe Cummings, What Would Jesus Do About Domestic Violence And Abuse Towards Christian Women Booklocker.com, Inc., 2010.]

Coercive control in intimate partner violence

Every married person or in a relationship makes a vow to love, be loyal whether good or bad things happen, for richness, plus in poverty, illness, both the man and woman take the same vow. Considering this vow made in Christian marriages, acts of violence against a spouse are directly opposed to the vows[footnoteRef:48]. Many women try to live by their vows and society\\\\\\\'s expectations. The cry of a battered woman may be from physical violence and emotional violence. [48: Steven J Saul, The Response Of The Church To Domestic Violence, 2011]

Women\\\\\\\'s advocates against intimate violence have done a lot of research and believed that coercive control is the primary cause of intimate partner violence. Many people have defined intimate partner violence as the sequence of coercive power where the abuser asserts his power over the sufferer through ultimatum and absolute brutality. Ferocity is just a pawn used when the abuser uses to have a more considerable influence to attain particular conduct, win quarrels, and demonstrate dominance[footnoteRef:49]. Isolation, scaring, threats, keeping back the necessary resources is used. [49: Mary Ann Dutton and Lisa A. Goodman, \\\\\\\"Coercion In Intimate Partner Violence: Toward A New Conceptualization\\\\\\\", Sex Roles 52, no. 11-12 (2005): 743-756, doi:10.1007/s11199-005-4196-6.]

Coercive control degrades the women\\\\\\\'s ability to make their decisions, and due to the fear instilled in them, it can continue even after the relationship ends. Dominance begins with simple jealousy and controlling attributes. The abuser demands that the abused wear certain clothes and a particular hairstyle, demanding that the victim buy certain foods only. The statements made and the rewards for refusal[footnoteRef:50]. Communicating the credibility of a threat instills fear in many victims. The abuser describes how he will kill her after someone from her family had visited, making the victim believe. A person may be in connection with prevailing indebtedness alternately may obtain that from the partner. Her spouse then exploits the culpability. Many women are vulnerable during their pregnancies, and the abuser manipulates them to follow what their partner demands. Many women try to resist oppression[footnoteRef:51]. An abuser may undermine their partner\\\\\\\'s ability to resist harassment by decreasing their source of support separation from family creates a sense of renouncement, making it easier for the woman to get controlled. [50: Ibid,5] [51: Mary Ann Dutton and Lisa A. Goodman, \\\\\\\"Coercion In Intimate Partner Violence: Toward A New Conceptualization\\\\\\\", Sex Roles 52, no. 11-12 (2005): 743-756, doi:10.1007/s11199-005-4196-6]

Why most women stay in an abusive relationship

The abusers mostly quote the bible, where it states that women should be submissive to men. They interpret these teachings to suit themselves. Religion hinders many women from getting out of abusive relationships. The Catholic Church teaches about endurance in marriage. Domestic violence overcomers who had sought help from priests got advised that the marital bond is of more excellent value than the woman\\\\\\\'s safety and intellectual well-being. Coercion creates fear in women, making them have low self-worth[footnoteRef:52] . She feels beaten down and of no worth. Most men who control women\\\\\\\'s decisions make them feel like they had done something wrong, and the hurt of getting held is devastating. Many women stay because I did not think that psychological and monetary abuse was actual ill-treatment as \\\\\\\"words do not leave bruises\\\\\\\"[footnoteRef:53]. Many victims remain because of their children wanting them to have a father figure. [52: Jason Whiting, \\\\\\\"Eight Reasons Women Stay In Abusive Relationships\\\\\\\", Institute For Family Studies, Last modified 2016, https://ifstudies.org/blog/eight-reasons-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships.] [53: Jason Whiting, \\\\\\\"Eight Reasons Women Stay In Abusive Relationships\\\\\\\", Institute For Family Studies, Last modified 2016, https://ifstudies.org/blog/eight-reasons-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships.]