Male chauvinism and family control in "The Kiss"

¶ … Kiss by Julia Alvarez

Julia Alvarez's 1991 short story The Kiss, illustrates several important themes: (1) the manner in which male chauvinism masquerading under the concept of "traditional values" undermines the autonomy of women; (2) the way that inappropriately enmeshed and controlling parents cause long-term harm to the quality of their family relationships; and (3) the phenomenon by which excessively strict focus on forced values and negative expectations in relation to those values succeeds only in inspiring those very same negative behaviors.

Male Chauvinism and Interference with Female Autonomy

The patriarch of this Dominican-American family is a chauvinistic character who has allowed hi family life to be dominated and affected adversely by his unquestioned adherence to so-called "traditional" values defining the social roles of women and their dependence on and inferiority to males. He regularly attempts to undermine the intimacy between his daughters and their respective husbands by excluding the men from an important family gathering and by distributing money to his daughters as though it is inconceivable that their husbands could possibly be supporting them adequately or fully providing for all of their financial needs.

Carlos is a man who openly admits having had grave fears that his daughters would fail to produce a male sire capable of continuing his family name. He is oblivious to the hurtful messages he send to his granddaughter and the manner in which he is adversely affecting her self-image and her ambition in the way he exclaims his pride over the world of potential that is available to young Carlos, necessarily implying that those opportunities will never be available to his granddaughter.

The Phenomenon of Inspiration by Negative Expectations

By referring to his daughters pejoratively as his "harem" in connection with his fears about their failure to produce a male grandson, he also reveals his incestuous psychological refusal to acknowledge that, as adult women, they are perfectly within their rights to pursue sexual relations with men. In that respect, he could just have easily referred to a family of all female daughters as his "sorority" rather than his "harem" and there is probably a psychological relevance to his choice of the more sexualized term. Like many men of his generation, especially within highly chauvinistic cultures, Carlos has lived his entire life profoundly threatened by the prospect of his daughters' sexuality. Instead of accepting that adult women have the same right, particularly in contemporary American society, to express their sexuality in any manner they wish, he is tormented by the thought that any of his daughters might ever enjoy a sexual relationship outside of the strict boundaries of a traditional marriage.

The sad irony of the degree to which Carlos has obsessed over his compulsion to deny his daughters' sexuality is that his excessive preoccupation over that concept in their lives has precipitated the very behavior that he fears the most. By continually repeating his mantra about "loose women in the family" and by inexcusably calling his youngest daughter a whore, Carlos likely contributed to their acting out sexually more than they might have on their own and without the additional impetus provided by the need to escape their father's control by violating his moral values. This, as is so often the case in human behavior, likely occurred at a subconscious level, at least with respect to his third daughter and even more so to Sophia. Specifically, when his third daughter was under the influence of a little alcohol, her first instinct was to get "out of hand, making musical chairs of every man's lap" at the party. Moreover, the fact that this occurred in front of her father rather than at some other party suggests that she deeply resents the manner in which she has had to deny her sexuality throughout her entire life as a condition of retaining her father's respect and affection. Meanwhile, Sophia kisses her father's ear in a completely inappropriate sexualized way, and in front of strangers, no less. Quite obviously, and whether or not she is aware of it consciously, this is her way of saying to him "OK, Papi: Remember how you said that I'm the whore of the family? Well, now I'm going to prove it to you beyond any doubt whatsoever in front of everyone!"