Letter in a More Introductory Fashion, Stating

¶ … letter in a more introductory fashion, stating that I've been visiting the facility and found some problems that need attention. Then I would request that the manager implement the requested changes. I would also change the reference to ethnic minorities, and persons who grew up in poverty and in single-parent homes. It is a valid statement, but it sounds very derogatory. Basic cleanliness does not have to be taught in a class. Instead, the requirements for joining the staff can be drafted in a written document to serve as a guide for cleanliness. Perhaps a class in basic cleanliness might be seen as somewhat insulting. There are better ways to handle such an issue.

I do believe that the tone is adequate. It's very formal, straightforward and polite. The focus on politeness has been maintained throughout the exchanges with the manager, and the draft of the letter is no exception. The focus is also on finding some solutions to the problems that have been observed. Although I do not agree with all the solutions offered, especially the one regarding basic cleanliness classes, it is clear that some thought was given to advice regarding the necessary changes.