¶ … letter in a more introductory fashion, stating that I've been visiting the facility and found some problems that need attention. Then I would request that the manager implement the requested changes. I would also change the reference to ethnic minorities, and persons who grew up in poverty and in single-parent homes. It is a valid statement, but it sounds very derogatory. Basic cleanliness does not have to be taught in a class. Instead, the requirements for joining the staff can be drafted in a written document to serve as a guide for cleanliness. Perhaps a class in basic cleanliness might be seen as somewhat insulting. There are better ways to handle such an issue.
I do believe that the tone is adequate. It's very formal, straightforward and polite. The focus on politeness has been maintained throughout the exchanges with the manager, and the draft of the letter is no exception. The focus is also on finding some solutions to the problems that have been observed. Although I do not agree with all the solutions offered, especially the one regarding basic cleanliness classes, it is clear that some thought was given to advice regarding the necessary changes.
The letter is somewhat threatening, but not to the extent that would merit changing it. The threatening tone is entirely justified, as the restaurant manager involved simply ignored all previous attempts at help towards improving the restaurant to maintain standards. None of the warnings in the letter are harsher than required by the circumstances, and all statements are true. MacDonald's is indeed a restaurant that maintains high standards in cleanliness, freshness and good service. If these issues are not adequately addressed and maintained in each MacDonald's restaurant, customers begin to notice and experience dissatisfaction with a previously excellent restaurant. This is unacceptable in a business context, and the manager seems to not be aware of good business conduct.
