Life and Death Matters When

¶ … Life and Death Matters

When is being fashionably slender a danger to your health? Does eating healthy foods and not overindulging mean that one is psychologically ill? These are questions that have cased intense conflict in my relationship with my parents as they feel that I am a borderline anorexic, while I am only interested in a healthy diet.

I have always been conscious of the way I look and believe that overweight people are unhealthy. I eat non-fat foods and maintain my health. My parents on the other hand say that I am as thin as a reed and near to death. I think that they are overreacting. Most importantly of all I feel that they are preventing me for expressing myself and being whom I am. This argument has resulted in the near breakdown of communications in our family. Ironically my mother has accused me of making her feel suicidal because of my dieting.

I am fully aware of the reality and danger of diseases such as Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia and the health risks that an obsession with food can create. I am equally aware of the fact that these diseases, especially among younger people, have been continuously played in the media and the impression has been created that the slender or thinner person is unhealthy or bordering on death. I know the potential dangers of food obsession and I am certainly not starving myself just to attain some fashionable ideal.

While starving oneself is obviously dangerous, eating too many rich and starchy foods and eating in excess is just as dangerous to one's health. I find it strange there is less emphasis in the popular media on obesity and overweight problems; especially when obesity is one of the most serious health issues threatening developed countries like America - and is reportedly a problem that is getting worse in younger people.

My parents are under the wrong impression that a fat person is someone who is healthier than someone who eats only nutritious foods and does not overindulge.

When I eat only vegetables and few starches at a meal my parents tend to react almost violently. Their argument is that I am a slave to the media and to images of the perfect thin model and that I am in the process of destroying my health. Their fear is understandable but is fueled by the horror stories of young people taking food and dieting to the extremes and eventually becoming seriously ill from diseases such as Anorexia Nervosa.

A must admit that in theory they do have a point which I fully understand. I realize that a parent should be concerned about the health of their children and that eating disorders are a reality in our modern society. However I also expect them to believe me and understand that I am not in any danger and have no intention of harming myself.

At times this debate or argument has created enormous friction in our relationship and has resulted in ferocious family fights and accusations. This in turn has led to other issues that have created problems, such as the infringement of my privacy and independence.

In many ways the debate about eating and food has expanded and created a serious division between my parents and myself. This began one day when I found my mother going through my private effects.

I knew immediately that she was looking for diet pills or evidence that I was using drugs to reduce my weight. This shocked me to the core because by impinging on my privacy my parents were in fact doubting me and implying that I was lying. I felt like a stranger in my own house and was appalled by the lack of faith that my parent had in me.

Possibility the most worrying aspect was their failure to understand my situation and need for independence and privacy as a mature person. What hurt the most is that I felt that my personal integrity and the right to be myself were being unfairly obstructed. I am no longer a child and while I am not an experienced adult, yet I feel that I am old enough to make my own decisions. In fact I began to feel like a prisoner in my own home and this tended to increase my sense of opposition to the attitude of my parents.

A also realized that the root of the problem lay in a lack of understanding and communication. I also felt that my parents had not attempted to listen to side of the argument closely enough. I therefore decided that the argument should end and sat down with my parents one evening to convince them that my eating habits were intended not to harm myself but to increase my quality of life. I was completely forthright and honest and explained that my eating habits were based firstly on health considerations and the avoidance of fatty and starchy foods which, as everyone knows, is unhealthy. I also said that I was influenced to a certain extent by fashion and did not want to be overweight or fat and, yes, the thinner figure was more appealing to me. On the other hand this did not mean that I was bordering on Anorexia.

A even went to the extent of promising to see a doctor and would undergo any test to prove to them that was nothing physically wrong with me.

However, with the typical intransigence of age my parents would not relent. They were fixated like a buck in the headlights of a car by one thought - that I was Anorexic or at least on the road to severe illness, if not death. They were not interested in the discussion but were stubbornly insistent that I should stop my present eating habits and eat the rich and starchy foods that they ate. I pointed out as delicately as I could that they were both overweight but they saw this as being "cheeky" and provocative and became intensely angry with me. As a result the discussion turned into the usual abrasive family argument with raised voices and stern warnings about my future. At one stage my mother, somewhat over-dramatically, threatened "to kill herself" if I did not start eating what she considered to be healthy foods.