Life coaching: principles and practice

Life Coaching

The goal for all blind skiers is more freedom.

You don't have to see where you're going, as long as you go.

In skiing, you ski with your legs and not with your eyes.

In life, you experience things with your mind and your body.

And if you're lacking one of the five senses, you adapt"

Lorita Bertraun, Blind American skier (Columbia World of Quotations, 1996).

In a figurative sense, just as blind person learning to ski needs a skiing instructor, an individual wanting to make positive changes and/or reach goals in his/her life needs a life coach. Bertraun points out that a person experiences life with his/her mind and body; he/she learns to adapt when he/she lacks one of the five senses (Columbia World of Quotations, 1996). When an individual consciously chooses his/her responses to life, according to Patrick Williams and Lloyd J. Thomas (2004) in Total Life Coaching, he/she purposefully creates the one he/she desires. Although thoughts impact events, many individuals may be blind to how they create events that occur in their lives. The person an individual believes he/she is, Williams and Thomas (2004) contend, is who they are, as a person's basic beliefs about him/her self constitute the source of his/her "perceived limits and problems as well as the source of...[his/her] joy and fulfillment"(Williams and Thomas, 2004, p.9). As a life coach works to help his/her client to see their potential, he/she also coaches the client to create his/her desired belief through goals. In consideration of goals and strategies a life coach may incorporate into his/her sessions, the researcher determined that the goal of this essay consists of describing her understanding of the importance of goals and strategies in coaching, along with the differences between them.

Ideally, a person derives his/her goals from his/her vision of what he/she wants his/her life to be. A goal differs from hopes, dreams, visions and wishes. In " What Is a 'Goal'?," Gail Dantzker (2004) defines a goal as:

statement describing a broad or abstract intent, state or condition;

general statement of an intended outcome;

An intention stated in abstract terms (Dantzker, 2004, p. 2)

Goals may be personal or professional. They may range from, but are not be limited to the desire to:

Enhance understanding of a particular subject;

obtain a degree, certificate or specific skill;

become better at doing something;

start a business;

produce a particular product;

communicate a more positive attitude (Dantzker, 2004, p. 2).

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (2009) defines a goal as:

a: the terminal point of a race b: an area to be reached safely in children's games

2: the end toward which effort is directed.... (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, 2009)

Strategy strategy, according to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (2009), evolves from the military and consists of: (a)."..a careful plan or method: a clever stratagem; (b) the art of Thoughts Possess Power

Louise L. Hay and Marianne Williamson

Louise L. Hay, one founder of the self-help movement, who currently manages Hay House, a successful publishing company, stresses that thoughts possess power. "Every thought I think is creating my future," Hay (N.d, About Louise section) contends. Hay believes and teaches that a person's beliefs and ideas about him/her self constitute the cause of his/her emotional problems, as well as contribute to physical maladies. Utilizing particular tools, Hay asserts can change a person's thinking, as well as his/her life for the better.

According to the Australian media, some consider Hay "the closest thing to a living saint" (Hay, N.d, About Louise section). Even before it became fashionable or acceptable to discuss the mind and body.connection, Hay wrote about this currently confirmed phenomenon in her first book, Heal Your Body, published in 1976.

Marianne Williamson Marianne Williamson (2008)., acclaimed as a spiritual teacher, author of nine books, including Return to Love, the Healing of America, a Woman's Worth, Illuminata, and the Age of Miracles, among other works, was noted by a NEWSWEEK magazine poll in December 2006, as one of the fifty most influential baby boomers. Williamson stresses the significance of sharing. According to Marianne, even "ideas grow stronger when shared" (About Marianne section). The following poem by Gordon Neumann is a veteran from the Vietnam war, which Williamson posted on her site, portrays the source from which a goal evolves:

It is within where you begin, vague and obscure, and yet, an aspect of yourself that need not remain mystery,

That Force behind your eyes that processes what you see, and tweaks an amalgam of cues prompting you to simply be. (Marianne Williamson, 2008)

One Life Coach's Strategy

On his Web site, David Wood (2009), a certified Life Coach, relates that the strategy he utilizes with clients he coaches includes phone sessions, supplemented by email coaching, and an occasional "power coaching call." Wood reports his clients are basically individuals who are ready to incorporate changes in their lives, and/or gung ho to go after what they want. Most of Woods clients, both males and females, are 35 to 50 years old. They are primarily professionals, however, many of the individuals Wood works with also want help with relationship issues.

Inner Voice of Wisdom

In Living Your best life: Work, home, balance, destiny: Ten strategies for getting from where you are to where you're meant to be, Laura Berman Fortgang (2001), a contemporary life and career coach, relates the 10 steps a person may utilize to help reach their life goals," Laura Berman. Fortgang (2001) contends that strategies for obtaining goals may be categorized under the three headings: The Reckoning; the Doing; the Being. Fortgang utilizes the following 10 strategies with clients she coaches.

Ask why, not why (p. 5)

Trained the brain (p. 21)

Gain perspective (p. 36)

Act on what you feel, not only to think (p. 61)

Make a simple contract (p. 84)

Discover your lucrative purpose (101)

Make yourself a magnet (118)

Become a master at focusing (143)

Ask for directions before you lost (160)

Give up needing to know (173).

The Reckoning, the first three strategies noted above, according to Fortgang (2001) involves an individual completing two specific steps: (as) excavating; (b) reconstructing his/her life blueprint. For a person to devote to the life he/she was meant to lead, he/she "must begin by looking at what was shackled...[him/her] and prevented...[him/her] from hearing...[his/her] inner voice of wisdom. According to Fortgang, most people are, in themselves: "the biggest obstacle to...attainment of satisfaction with their lives" (p. 3). Even those who may not realize they have Reckoning that needs to be done in their lives do. Reckoning helps a person overcome his/her negative self-concepts, his/her limiting believes, and bad habits he/she possesses that block wisdom that tries to lead him/her to his/her best life.

The Point of No Return

In Co-Active coaching: New Skills for coaching people toward success in work and life, Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, and Phillip Sandahl (2007) point out that during the life coaching process, a client may reportedly be too busy to keep his/her office neat/organized/clean. The ensuing chaos, however seriously distracts him/her, and in fact has reached "the point of no return," where - "Something must be done" (Whitworth et al., 2007, p.104). The job of a life coach is to develop 15 structures to help his/her client succeed in getting his/her office organized; in order.

Time

As the client begins to and/or continues to make vital changes in his/her life, and addresses new transitions and confronts expected, as well as unexpected challenges, the coaching relationship may be open-ended an ongoing, or last for a per-determined agreed length of time. "The coaching relationship becomes part of the client's support system..." (Whitworth et al., 2007, p.162). Mediums for the life coaching sessions include face-to-face meetings; by phone; e-mail; voicemail; text messaging. When working with a team, a life coach may utilize teleconferencing or web-based conferencing. One life coach who works with hearing-impaired clients reportedly utilizes webcams to host long-distance sessions in American Sign Language.

During the discovery phase, some like coaches utilize the Wheel of Life for a similar version that can be adapted to fit the client's situation (Whitworth et al., 2007, p. 24). Figure 1 portrays a sample wheel of life.

Figure 1: Wheel of Life Sample (adapted from Whitworth et al., 2007, p. 24).

From answers the life coach obtains in these areas, he/she and the client may craft more relevant goals.

The questions a coach may ask his/her client during the discovery process include:

Where do you want to make a difference in your life?

What do you value most in your relationship with others?

What works for you when you are successful at making changes?

Where the usually gets stuck?

What motivates you?

How do you deal with disappointment or failure?

How are you about doing what you say you do? (Whitworth et al., 2007, pp. 24-25)

Answers to questions such as these usually lead to further logical questions the life coach may choose to ask. For instance, the question: "How would you like me to respond as your coach when you're stuck?" (Whitworth et al., 2007, p. 25) encourages the client to contribute to the coaching design, as it simultaneously enhances the coach/client alliance.

Desire for Change

As a client brings his/her desire for change to the coaching relationship, he/she may not yet have a clearly defined goal that he/she wants to accomplish in mind. During the initial process of the life coaching sessions, the life coach helps the client clarify his/her goals.

Along with eliminating life-draining habits, however, a vital component of the coaching process is to help the client replace negative practices with new positive ones.

Springboard for Ideas

In the 8 Proven Secrets to SMART Success, Peggy McColl (2002) purports that a life coach asks his/her client to think about how he/she is presently living. In developing goals for the client, the coach would next ask his/her client to consider how he/she would like to be living. The client would then write a description of the mental image of the way he/she desires to live. The coach could then, as McColl advises readers in her book:

Keep that written description of how you would like to be living in front of you. Then use the information as a springboard for ideas that you can implement that will move you closer to your goal.

Look for one are two things that you will commit to implementing right now. Things you are not presently doing on a consistent basis. Things you know will make a difference in your life and the results you want. (McColl, 2002, p. 2).

Defining Moments

McColl (2002) asserts that Secret Number 1 for change is to be aware of the following:

Creative power (creative being)

Choices (affect results)

Conscious thoughts (just like seeds that you plant in the ground. Starting point to all things).