Lifespan developmental psychology concepts and principles

Sexual Addiction results from an abuse of the natural sex drive that each person is born with. The abuse can start at any time in life and then progresses until it becomes a compulsion that the sexually addicted person cannot cope with. The sexual addiction eventually affects every part of the person's life, including self-respect, relationships with family and friends, and finances and career. It is a fix that the sexually addicted person will do just about anything to get, and usually hurt themselves in the process. Sexual addiction is a disease and nothing fun or romantic depicted in the movies is true.

For approximately 3-6% of the population (Gold, 1998, p. 367) the concept of sex brings forward feelings of dread, neglect, guilt, and so on. They feel out of control when it comes to sex, wanting to stop the regular prowl but continuously find themselves at peep shows, strip joints, in chat rooms and on the corner picking up prostitutes. Sex addiction can manifest itself in many forms, from the person who is online 5-7 hours a day, searching for pornography and talking about sex in all sorts of chat rooms, to the peeping tom that lives across the street and watches you change in the evening. But how does this behavior arise? What causes these people to lose control of a basic human instinct? The theories on sexual addiction are many, ranging from biological causes to socio-cultural influences. This paper will focus on Freud's theory of sexual addiction as it relates to sexual development and fixation upon a certain stage.

What is Sexual Addiction?

The concept is confusing and has only become part of psychologists' vocabulary in the past 50 years. The term was first used by Freud who had referred to masturbation as "the primal addiction" from which all other addictive disorders derive (Goodman, 1998, p. 101). Sexual addiction is however, a controversial concept. A single definition of the disorder has yet to be formed. Some refer to it as an addiction following the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders released by the American Psychiatric Association. (DSM-IV, 1994, p. 201)

Sexual addiction is often confused with a high sex drive. This conception is wrong and it is important to understand that a person with a high sex drive is actually satisfied with sex however the sex addict needs sex to medicate his feelings and to be able to cope with stresses in life. The sex addict spends much time in pursuit to find a way to satisfy this intense hunger. The debate over whether sexually compulsive behavior is an addiction or a psychosexual, obsessive-compulsive behavior disorder is ongoing.

When sex becomes an addiction, the individual may use pornography, masturbation, fantasy, or other sexual behavior to satisfy his needs. Further, this addiction interferes with their everyday lives, to include finances, intimate relationships, careers and self-esteem. (Earle, 1995, pp. 46-99). Sexual addiction can be divided into different categories, to include paraphilic compulsive sexual behavior and nonparaphilic compulsive sexual behavior. (Kornblum, 1997, pp. 144-146).

Nonparaphilic compulsive sexual behavior involves conventional sexual behaviors, that when taken to an extreme, are recurrent, distressing and interfere in daily functioning. This may include the compulsive search for multiple partners, fixation on an unattainable partner and compulsive masturbation. (Love, 1995, pp. 173-191)

Paraphilic compulsive sexual behavior involves unconventional sexual behavior which are obsessive and compulsive. These paraphilias are defined in the DSM-IV as "recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving nonhuman objects, or the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partners, or children or other non-consenting persons. This behavior, which consists of sexual urges or fantasies, cause significant distress in social and occupational areas of functioning.

As mentioned earlier, disagreement still exists as to whether this disorder is an addiction, a psychosexual developmental disorder, or an impulse control disorder. (DSM-IV, 1994, p. 227)

While the American Psychiatric Association does not currently recognize sex addiction as a mental illness, they have classifications that are helpful for understanding sexual behavior disorders. (Groneman, 2000, pp. 250-302) the most common paraphilias include:

Pedophilia - an adult's sexual attraction toward children

Exhibitionism - sexual excitement associated with exposing one's genitals in public

Voyeurism - sexual excitement from watching an unsuspecting person

Sexual masochism - sexual excitement from being the recipient of inflicted or threatened pain

Sexual sadism - sexual excitement from threatening or administering pain

Transvestic fetishism - sexual excitement from wearing the clothing of the opposite sex

Frotteurism - sexual excitement from touching or fondling an unsuspecting person

According to Groneman (2000), all of these disorders are characterized by recurrent, intense, sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behaviors involving:

Non-human objects

The suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partner, children or other nonconsenting persons

Clinically significant distress in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning caused by the behavior, sexual urges or fantasies.

Sex addiction may include some obsessions & behavior caused by these disorders. Usually what is described as sex addiction, however, involves conventional, or non-paraphiliac, sexual behaviors that, when taken to an extreme, like alcohol, can interfere with daily functioning & produce guilt, shame & recurrent harm to oneself or others. (Azhar, 1999, p. 250)

The Levels of Sexual Addiction

Carnes states that there are three levels of sexual addiction (1992, p. 32). The first level, Level One, contains behaviors which are regarded as normal, acceptable or tolerable (e.g., masturbation, homosexuality, prostitution). "Addicts" in Level One usually do not see problems within themselves because their behavior is not constant nor do victims exist. They are able to rationalize their behavior. Level Two, by contrast, extends to those behaviors that are clearly victimizing and for which legal sanctions are enforced (e.g., exhibition, voyeurism). 'Addicts' have begun to feel out of control and are often the subject of jokes. At Level Three, the behaviors have grave consequences for the victims and legal consequences for the addicts such as incest, child molestation, or rape. Compulsivity in an individual at this level represents a severe progression of the addiction.

Although the term sex addiction is used by many, others believe that it may be a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder. The act of sex for most "addicts" reduces anxiety and other painful effects (Goodman, 1998, p. 99). When sexual activity is inhibited, "addicts" experience discomfort. Some psychologists have labeled the disorder as OCD's due to the similarity of some symptoms of the condition as well as similar responses to specific pharmacological and behavioral treatments. Compulsions, however, are defined in DSM-IV as "repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand-washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) the goal of which is to reduce anxiety or distress, not to provide pleasure or gratification" (DSM-IV, 1994, p. 219).

Some "addicts" will claim that sex has become something that no longer gives them pleasure, rather, it is something that they feel they must do. This leads to yet another theory on how sex addiction should be described. Goodman (1998) argued that this sexual syndrome should be designated as "sexual impulsivity," since it met the diagnostic criteria for atypical impulse control disorder.

According to DSM-IV, impulse-control disorders are defined as, "the failure to resist an impulse, drive, or temptation to perform an act that is harmful to the person or to others. The individual feels an increasing sense of tension or arousal before committing the act and then experiences pleasure, gratification, or relief at the time of committing the act. Following the act there may or may not be regret, self-reproach, or guilt" (DSM-IV, 1994 p.220). This definition seems to accurately characterize this sexual syndrome. With all of these possible definitions, one must look to the causes and treatments of the syndrome to discover its true form.

What Makes an Addict?

A regular occurrence in most sex 'addicts' is an abusive childhood. There have been many studies conducted looking for a connection between childhood sexual abuse and sexual addiction later in life. In one study that examined subjects suffering from sexual addiction (Carnes, 1992, p. 66), 82% of a sample of 233 men and 57 women in treatment for sexual addiction reported histories of sexual abuse as a child. These figures imply the question, why does childhood sexual abuse cause such a strange reaction later in life?

Children learn from their parents; they learn how to behave as a boy or girl from their same sex parent; they learn how to deal with relationships by watching their parents' relationship. If the family dynamic is strained in any way, they child will believe that it is the way to behave. If a child learns that sex is the main expression of emotion and intimacy, he or she will continue to believe that in order to have any relationship with someone, he or she will feel the need to have sex (Carnes, 1992, p. 44).

When a child is abused, not only does he or she develop these feelings of inadequacy but their basic human needs are not met. Children need love and attention during their early years. They need a supportive, stable person in their lives. If the child is abused, he or she is missing a key part of their development. They continue to grow up believing that they are alone. Not only is this feeling brought on by abuse but if a parent dies or the child is torn between a divorce, the adult can still feel abandoned. Sex fills that void, the individual feels that he or she is wanted and is being taken care of for the duration of the act. Afterwards, they find themselves alone and are once again on the prowl for another conquest.

But sexual addiction doesn't arise only from sexual abuse or from inadequate parental love. Nymphomania -- or "Don Juanism -- can result from a condensation of the striving for sexual satisfaction coupled with the need to reassure one's self-esteem (Kornblu, 1997, pp. 344-369). These constant sexual escapades can be used to contradict feelings of inferiority and to reassure fears over losing love. If these urges are not immediately satisfied, the individual may turn towards sadistic behaviors. Eisenstein believed that hypersexuality served many defensive functions as well, including warding off castration anxiety, supporting repression or denial of homosexual urges and counteracting feelings of guilt or shame. (Pfaus, 1999, pp. 751-758)

The sex addict is caught in a continuously downward spiral, where confused feelings will trigger the need for sexual acts which will continue to confuse the individual. The addiction cycle according to Carnes (1992, p. 15):

The addict is preoccupied with sex. The thought of it fills his/her mind everyday. He or she finds it hard to think of much else. Ritualization includes long-term planning, the addict decides where, when, how and who. Hours, even days can go into planning a sexual encounter. Often the entire event must be perfect and the individual allows other important commitments fall to the wayside. Finally the actual sexually compulsive act is performed and despair quickly follows. The addict wants desperately to stop and live their life "normally" but finds that they are quickly preoccupied with sex again and have already begun planning the next conquest."

Addicts often dehumanize sex. This trait keeps them from forming actual relationships. Sex becomes merely an act, something to pass the time and fill the empty space temporarily. There is little or no sense of sex as a "natural function." Sex is objectified and becomes a basis for self-worth. There is no such thing as intimacy. (Goldstein, 1994, p. 200) Communication is also a problem for the sex addict. Although they may be charming and lively, it is usually a mask for the fact that they keep relationships on a very superficial level. Once again, this is often caused by poor modeling in the home, never learning to develop meaningful, intimate connections with other human beings. (Janus, 1993, pp. 67-68)

Freuds's Theory of Psychosexual Development

According to Sigmund Freud, what we do and why we do it, who we are and how we became this way are all related to our sexual drive, no matter what biological or psychological point in what direction. Differences in personalities originate in differences in childhood sexual experiences. In the Freudian psychoanalytical model, child personality development is discussed in terms of "psychosexual stages." In his "Three Essays on Sexuality" (1915), Freud outlined five stages of manifestations of the sexual drive: Oral, Anal, Phallic, Latency, and Genital. (Earle, 1995, pp. 46-99) at each stage, different areas of the child's body become the focus of his pleasure and the dominant source of sexual arousal. Differences in satisfying the sexual urges at each stage will inevitably lead to differences in adult personalities. Conflicts between the sex drive and rules of society are present at every stage. A proper resolution of the conflicts will lead the child to progress past one stage and move on to the next. Failure to achieve a proper resolution, however, will make the child fixated in the present stage. The latter is believed to be the cause of many personality and behavioral disorders.

According to Freud, people enter the world as unbridled pleasure seekers. "Specifically, people seek pleasure through from a series of erogenous zones." (Love, 1995, p. 177) These erogenous zones are only part of the story, as the social relations learned when focused on each of the zones is also important, as we discussed earlier -- children also learn from the relationships of their parents. Freud's theory of development has 2 primary ideas: One, everything you become is determined by your first few years - indeed, the adult is exclusively determined by the child's experiences, because whatever actions occur in adulthood are based on a blueprint laid down in the earliest years of life. Two, the story of development is the story of how to handle anti-social inpulses in socially acceptable ways. (Gold, 1998, pp. 367-381)

Libido was Freud's word for psychic and sexual energy. How libido is expressed depends on the stage of development. But in each stage of development there are frustrations. If those frustrations are not successfully dealt with, then the libido will be tied to that stage of development more than it should. There is only so much libido for each person, and to develop successfully a person cannot use too much of their libido in one stage, because then there will less for the others. According to Groneman, (2000), such overuses will be reflected in later behavior in one of two ways.

Fixation may occur, which would mean that there are lingering desires for pleasure from the source experienced at that stage.

Reaction Formation may occur, which would be taking the lingering desire for pleasure from some source and acting in the opposite way.

Stages of Development

Freud proposed that there were 5 stages of development. Freud believed that few people successfully complete all 5 of the stages. Instead, he felt that most people tied up their libido at one of the stages, which prevented them from using that energy at a later stage.

Oral Stage. This occurs from birth to about 1-year, and the libido is focused on the mouth. The individual may be frustrated by having to wait on another person, being dependent on another person. Being fixated at this stage may mean an excessive use of oral stimulation, such as cigarettes, drinking or eating.

Anal Stage. This period occurs about age 2 and 3 yrs. Here individuals have their first encounter with rules and regulations, as they have to learn to be toilet trained. This encounter with rules and regulations will dictate the later behavior with rules and regulations. The libido is focused anally, and frustration may arise from having to learn a somewhat complex cognitive and motor response. Being fixated at this stage can result in stinginess, stubbornness, or orderliness, as well as messiness. Essentially, behavior related to retention and expulsion may be related to experiences at this stage.

Phallic Stage. This period starts about age 4-5 years. Some critical episodes for development occur during this stage, but these episodes occur differently for boys and girls. (Azhar, 1999, p. 263-265)

Oedipus conflict - the boy begins to have sexual desires for his mother, and sees his father as a rival for her affections. The boy begins to fear that his father is suspicious of his longing for his mother, and that the father will punish him for his desires. That punishment, the boy fears, will be castration, which brings us to the second critical episode for this stage.

Castration anxiety. The fear of castration make the boy anxious. This anxiety begun with the fear of punishment from the father leads to the boy thinking that the father hates him eventually becomes unbearable and the boy renounces his sexual feelings for his mother and chooses instead to identify with his father, and hopes to someday have a relationship with a woman (though not his mother) just like dear old dad has with his mother.

The story for girls is slightly different. The oral and anal stages are the same for both girls and boys, so the focus of affection and attention is on the mother for both. But this focus changes, for girls, from the mother to the father, when the girls realize that they don't have penises, so they develop penis envy. This realization coupled with the knowledge that her mother doesn't have a penis leads to her thinking her mother unworthy, and becoming attracted to her father, as he does have a penis. (Kasl, 1989, pp. 11-56)

Just as with boys, girls begin to suspect the same sex parent knows about their attraction to the opposite sex parent, and they hate them for it. These feelings go round and round for awhile until the point when the girls renounce their feelings for their fathers and identify with their mothers. (Azhar, 1999, p. 263-265)

Latency Stage. This period occurs after the oedipus conflict has been resolved and the feelings that were aroused during that time have subsided. This lasts from about the age of 7 until puberty, and this is a period of rest where there are no developmental events

Genital Stage. Begins at puberty involves the development of the genitals, and libido begins to be used in its sexual role. However, those feelings for the opposite sex are a source of anxiety, because they are reminders of the feelings for the parents and the trauma that resulted from all that. (Azhar, 1999, p. 263-265)

Sexual Abuse

Freud believed that human sexuality began at the birth of a child instead of at an age where children could identify and reason with their culture. He argued that children do not have personal knowledge to understand the biological ongoing of sex. Therefore, he stressed that the biggest sex organ was in fact the mind, where fantasy and identity takes place; disproving that sex was biological. (Goldstein, 1994, p. 200) He claimed there were major stages of a child's growth that ultimately affected the rest of their life. Most notably were the oral stage and the anal stage. (Love, 1995, pp. 340-389) Freud argued that a child's first pleasure was when they drank milk from their mother's breast.

He went on to say that children received pleasure from this and that the event was in fact a prototype of an orgasm. Freud insisted that as a person grows he or she never stop being a child in a sense. As we grow older, those influences that affected our minds as babies would indeed have a direct influence on our sexual behaviors as adults. (Love, 1995, p. 350)

The earliest proposed explanation for the occurrence of sexual abuse was Freud's psychoanalytic theory which derived from his clinical work with female clients who disclosed childhood sexual abuse, often at the hands of their fathers. Freud was the first to postulate that the trauma of childhood sexual abuse resulted in later psychic damage, such as with sexual addiction. This was the basis of his 'seduction' theory which he presented along with detailed case studies at a major forum in 1896. (Carnes, 1992, pp. 24-56)

Freud argued that it is the inability to successfully resolve this psycho-sexual stage of development that gives rise to the psychic damage he observed in his clients who had reported childhood sexual abuse. The same theoretical framework also serves to explain the behavior of offenders in 'proven' cases of sexual assault or incest. For sexual assaults the theory goes that offenders behavior is the result of castration anxiety as a result of the failure to resolve the Oedipus Complex which gives rise to feelings of sexual inadequacy and the need to be sexually dominant. (Kornblu, 1997, pp. 180-189)

Adult sex offenders or nymphomaniacs are viewed as pathologically disturbed and sexually perverted as a result of poor psycho-sexual development. "The distortions in the offenders psycho-sexual development are seen as the result of failure in his mother's parenting, according to Freud." (Gold, 1998, p. 380)

For Freud, the sexual drive has no predetermined objective or method of satisfaction. Potentially, it can be attracted to a person of the opposite sex, the same sex or the self (and sometimes to children and animals). Desire can also be directed towards a particular part of the body such as feet and the breasts, or to inanimate objects like leather boots and silk underwear. In the case of sexual addiction, it is the addiction that is dominant, not the sexual urges themselves. People who are addicted to sex are those that became fixated at a certain stage of development. This stage of development often dictates or points at the form of the addiction, itself. Freud argued the method of sexual satisfaction varies widely. It can be concentrated on the genitals, a mouth or any of the many other erogenous zones. It involves everything from masturbation to intercourse, fellatio, sadism, necrophilia, cunnilingus and voyeurism. Much of Freud's writing was on the notion that perversion involved sexual arrest, fixation and regression. (Pfaus, 1999, p. 758)