Personal perseverance and development: Allen's life across cultures

Lifespan

It's very interesting to discuss an individual's life in detail, especially when done so in a thoughtful manner. Through these conversations, one garners a distinct appreciation for life and the obstacles it presents. It also provides a great sense of the importance of perseverance in regards to success. Allen exemplifies the term "perseverance," in his behaviors throughout life. I personally had to the opportunity to meet Allen during a job fair. He was representing Macy's and immediately seemed approachable. He is warm hearted and very engaging. Little did I know that his background was one that was anything but warm.

Family background

Not much is known about Allen's father, who was appropriate named Allen himself. As the third, the younger Allen never made physical contact with his father. From the information garnered from his mother, Allen Sr. was an expert guitarist. His hobbies included playing instruments and teaching music. His profession was that of a truck driver. As such, his profession called for many months on the road. Sadly, at Allen Jr.'s birth, his dad was appropriately absent. Since that time, the younger Allen has never seen his original fathers face, ever. This presented numerous problems in regards to development for the younger Allen. His mother, as a single parent was forced to fend for herself throughout the duration of the younger Allen's years. This problem was exacerbated by his mother's profession in the military. In many instances, she was forced to leave Allen in child care for long amounts of time as her duties as a military woman required extended hours. Allen therefore, was forced to grow and develop through the influence of others in his immediate surroundings. However, Allen attributes his growth and development from these circumstances.

In regards to Erik Erikson's psychological traits, he refers to a child's early years as the oral sensory stage. Many studies of suicides and suicide attempts point to the importance of the early years in developing the basic belief that the world is trustworthy and that every individual has a right to be here. This is manifested psychologically through the use of maternal love to drive hope. This psychological component has occurred in Allen's life as well. Through this nurturing, he has become quite successful, as I will allude to in subsequent sections.

For one, his mother was stationed on a naval base Yokosuka, Japan, soon after his birth. Allen sites this experience as a catalyst in his personal growth as a child. As an African-American male, he was not subjected to the pervasive influence of material possessions, and other negative influences the African-American community has been subjected to. During our interview, Allen believes, as a child, he avoided many of the negative influences that hinder the development of the African-American youth. He even went as far to draw similarities between himself and Barack Obama in the manner in which they grew up. In Japan, Allen learned much of the Japanese methods of discipline and respect that is often missing in today's youth. Even though much of his education was on the military establishment, the influences of Japan were very much present. It is here that his mother met and married his step-farther Lueranze. Allen also sites the importance of this new found father figure in his early life.

Here too, Erik Erikson's psychological principles are at work. Erikson characterizes the early stage in a child's life as ego development. In this phase of psychological development, children are beginning to understand themselves as an individual. It is also during this stage, however, that we can be very vulnerable. If we're shamed in the process of toilet training or in learning other important skills, we may feel great shame and doubt of our capabilities and suffer low self-esteem as a result. Thankfully, Allen had parents that were very helpful in this regard. Both his mother and step father were encouraging throughout his younger years. Furthermore, Allen had influence from the discipline of the Japanese community during pivotal periods of his life.

Also during this stage of psychological development, the child is learning to master the world around them, learning basic skills and principles of physics. Things fall down, not up. Round things roll. They learn how to zip and tie, count and speak with ease. At this stage, the child wants to begin and complete their own actions for a purpose. Guilt is a confusing new emotion.

This is particularly important as Allen felt guilty over his lost father. During the early stages of his life, guilt had a profound role in his performance as a child. Early in life, he was very quite and reserved. He felt guilty over the loss of his father and not receiving any form of correspondence whatsoever. Furthermore, living in Japan, he found it difficult to relate with many of the other children within his age cohort. This may also have precluded his behavior as in his early schooling years as well. Allen mentioned that he particularly wasn't a good student during his early years. In fact, he mentions that he was quite disruptive.

According to Erikson, within instances requiring initiative, a child may also develop negative behaviors. These behaviors are a result of the child developing a sense "…of frustration for not being able to achieve a goal as planned and may engage in behaviors that seem aggressive, ruthless, and overly assertive to parents." Aggressive behaviors, such as throwing objects, hitting, or yelling, are examples of observable behaviors during this stage. Allen exhibiting these characteristics early in life due in part to his lack of father figure and his guilt in dealing with that reality.

Circumstances of birth

Allen had a normal birth. He was born on January 26, 1947. His mother was a single parent, enlisted in the United States Navy. Allen's father abandoned him a birth but was a truck driver by trade. He was born in Wigbey Island, Washington weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces. He joked that his mother had a C-section because his head was too big.

Medical and health history throughout life

As mentioned before, Allen doesn't know about his original father who deserted him at birth. Many of this original families health history forms have never been seen or examined. As such, he is unaware of many of the potential illnesses that may be present within his body. His mother however, is quite healthy. As a military woman, she worked out regularly and in fact, at one point in her life, was a personal trainer. Of late however, Allen has suffered with high blood pressure which is a characteristic of many African-American males his age. Much of this has to do with his diet of high protein and fried foods. To abate or diminish the influence of this high blood pressure, he eats a substantial amount of both leafy green vegetables, with a combination of fruit. Fortunately, he was a student athlete in college at the University of Florida. He therefore has the aptitude and knowledge

Living arrangement (parents, room-mates, spouse)

He is single, and lives by himself. Allen intends to keep this living arrangement as it allows him to read, and invest in the privacy of his own home. When reviewing the discussion notes I personally found it interesting that he lives alone. He indirectly may be exhibiting the same traits as his original father in the sense of his approbation to commitment. Psychologically, as his father left him as a child due to commitment issues, he too may be inadvertently exhibiting the same behavior. Both Allen and his father may dislike commitment and therefore, their logical response is to simply avoid it. At over the age of 65, Allen has never once met his real father. Likewise, his father has never once seen his sons face. I find it eerily similar, psychologically; that Allen himself has never been married has no intention of doing so.

Hobbies/activities

As I alluded to earlier, Allen enjoys physical activity. He was a student athlete for the University of Florida track and field team where he participated in the 800 meters and the mile. Allen is also an avid artist and enjoys painting during his spare time. In addition, he enjoys multiple forms of dance which is of particular interest to him both physically and mentally. Dance allows him to retain his physique, flexibility and mental awareness. It also is a form of stress release as he uses it primarily as an "escape," from life.

Social history (shy, out going, friendly, etc.)

Upon my discussions with Allen, it was immediately apparent that Allen is friendly and outgoing person. He is the type of individual that draws people to him in a manner that is very unique. This could possible be the result of his experience living in various countries as his mother was in the Navy. As such, he had the unique opportunity to interact with cultures that were very distinct in regards to his own.

Ironically however, Allen seemingly contradicts himself, as he says he never fit in throughout his life. Being African-American and being raised in Japan, Puerto Rico, and the Philippines, he never had a distinct trait that allowed him to fit into a certain group. As a result he was often ostracized by his peers. During our discussion, he provided the quote, " I was too black for the white people, too white for the black people, and not Japanese enough for the Asian people."

He sites this problem as the main reason for his love of being alone in regards to his marital and relationship status. Again, as I mentioned above, psychologically, Allen simply avoid commitment on any form of social level. This occurs, even though he has a personality that is both engaging and outgoing. Of particular interest is Erickson psychological perspective as well. Young adults are still eager to blend their identities with friends. They want to fit in. Erikson believes we are sometimes isolated due to intimacy. We are afraid of rejections such as being turned down or our partners breaking up with us. This is exactly what occurred, psychologically in Allen's life. He was simply afraid of rejection and like his father before him, simply avoided the eventual commitment. Erikson provides the quote, "…we are familiar with pain, and to some of us, rejection is painful; our egos cannot bear the pain." Erikson also argues that "Intimacy has a counterpart: Distantiation: the readiness to isolate and if necessary, to destroy those forces and people whose essence seems dangerous to our own, and whose territory seems to encroach on the extent of one's intimate relations" Allen accomplishes this task primarily through avoidance. His way of destroying negative influences is to simply not be around those influences.

Martial history

Surprising, even with his outgoing personality, Allen has never been married. He sites his inability to stay committed to long-term relationships as the main culprit for this behavior. Allen welcomes and relishes his single status. It allows him to depend on only himself, while also not being accountable to a spouse. Furthermore, it allows him to think clearly in regards to his investment and business decisions.

Again, psychologically, due to his past, he is avoiding rejection. Furthermore, as Erikson states as his last stage of development, generality vs. stagnation, I believe Allen is attempting to find meaning in his life. As I will explain in the sections that follow, Allen obtained his MBA. I believe this was done to prove to himself that he is indeed talented. As Erikson states, psychologically, during the later periods of life, the desire to prove one's self-worth is high. According to Erikson, during individual's later stages of life, the primary developmental task is one of contributing to society and helping to guide future generations. When a person makes a contribution during this period by working toward the betterment of society, a sense of productivity and accomplishment occurs. In contrast, a person who is self-centered and unable or unwilling to help society move forward develops a feeling of stagnation. From these behaviors I believe, psychologically, Allen wants to contribute to the betterment of society. To accomplish this, he has obtained credentials easily recognized by society. He also, through his isolation, is developing skills to help foster growth with the young African-American community.

Financial situation

After completion of his MBA, Allen accumulated many financial assets in the form of stocks and exchange traded funds. This, he believes, are the best assets in regards to growth and wealth accumulation.

Spiritual background, religious affiliations

During our discussion, Allen provided a very unique perspective to his belief in religion and material possessions. Below is brief summary of his rationale

Picture this: you have the uncanny ability to survey the entire adult population above the age of 50. You have all the money you need at your disposal. All the surveys will be completely filled out, and all those surveyed will be forthright with information. Further, picture these individual above 50, some millionaires, some with children, some divorced, a few unhappy, a few Christian, answering this one question, "Would you like to go back in time 25 years?" I would venture to say, the majority will undoubtedly say "yes." The answers will be a varied as they are numerous with some wanting to go back to school or maybe to start a business of some sorts. I would also venture to say these same individuals surveyed will not answer, "I want to go back 25 years, so I can participate in church." Many of these individuals want to venture back in time apply the current knowledge they have acquired over the years to their youth in order to live more productive lives. Allen then asked the following question of me, "Don't you find it ironic that many people associate productive lives with material possessions?" Very few, if any, associate a productive life with participation in the church as a youth. In fact, many of our youth have been trained to associate material possessions with wealth, prosperity and happiness. If for some reason you don't obtain these possessions, the individual has failed in life. Ironically, even though Allen is an avid investor, he does not find solace in material possessions.

Unusual life crisis, challenges

An unusual life crisis that Allen has faced in his early life was that his parents straddled him with $25,000 of debt. When he first entered college, Allen encountered very difficult financial circumstances. As such, he elected to acquire a loan to help finance his college. Believing himself to be too immature to handle such large quantities of money, he instead decided to provide the funds to his parents. After his second year of college, Allen approached his parents for the remainder of the money to help pay for his college. To his dismay, his parents spent the entire sum. This hurt Allen dearly. This was evident by his tone throughout our discussion. Being a finance and investment savvy individual, he realized the implications of having student debt could pose on his quality of life in the future. Moreover, he was shocked to have been betrayed by his own family members. As such, he explains, he never directly complained to them. Instead, he resolved to pay both the loan his parents spent and the subsequent loan he was forced to get upon realizing the previous sum had been spent.

Regrets? Pleasures or accomplishments?

Allen is the type of individual who does not regret circumstances. He believes everything occurs for a reason. The difficult aspects of life should be used as an opportunity for growth, not for self-pity, he exclaims.

In conclusion, Allen is quite the interesting individual. He has persevered through a lot of turmoil. Much of which I could barely do justice too correctly in this document. However, through this conversation, I personally am inspired to do more with what has been bestowed upon me. Thanks to Allen, I realize that life is not about the destination, but rather, about the journey.