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The downfall to this is that, as human beings, we tend to generalize our own thoughts and feelings onto those around us. Making it difficult for us to understand why someone else may have enjoyed a movie that we thought was absolutely horrendous. The same holds true in the expression of love and affection. Therefore, it is necessary that individuals in a relationship be shown that there are other ways to say, "I love you," "I need you," or "I appreciate you," besides using those specific words or sharing an intimate kiss.
Communication is the process of gathering meaning from the world around us, and using verbal and non-verbal messages to share this meaning with others. (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2005) More specifically, interpersonal communication can be defined as; "a distinctive, transactual form of human communication involving mutual influence, usually for the purpose of managing relationships" (Beebe et al., 2005, p. 6). Interpersonal communication is extremely complex and encompasses different themes and issues that affect many aspects of our daily lives. Of all these aspects, however, the area that is impacted the most is relationships, and more specifically, intimate relationships. This information, though not always applied, is, in fact well-known. What Chapman has so cleverly done is taken common knowledge and applied it in a way that it takes on new meaning. By taking the basic rules of language and communication, and applying it to the complex construct of love, he has opened up a whole new compendium of resources through which individuals and counselors alike are able to draw from when working toward interpersonal relationship improvement.
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He speaks instead of "emotional" love, which encompasses the affectionate and romantic kind frequently depicted in books, movies, and dreams. He also coins the term "love tank" which he explains everyone has. How full one's love tank is, is directly proportionate to how loved that person feels, which, in turn, instills a sense of meaning, self-esteem and well-being.
Chapman proposes that many relationships that are in trouble could be strengthened if only the individuals in the relationship would recognize and learn to speak their significant other's love language. This book is a welcomed relief from the all-to-often pessimistic views on relationships. It offers deep insight to individual needs for love and tips on how one might best meet them, and its individual as well as clinical application is not only worth while, but recommended.
References
Beebe S.A., Beebe S.J., Redmond M.V. (2005). Interpersonal Communication Relating
to Others (4th ed.) Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.
Bor, R., Mallandain, I., & Vetere A. (1998). What we say we do: results of the 1997 UK
association of family therapy members survey. Journal of Family Therapy, 20,
Counseling and Personal Values Integrating Learned Theories about Counseling with Your Personal Values As the world has modernized, people have started experiencing more psychological problems and other problems than ever. Despite the normal behavior that most of the people depict, they are a victim of psychological disturbances which ultimately makes them sick. Therefore counseling was introduces as a means to address various kinds of problem that people find difficult to tackle. There
Counseling Model A Practical Pastoral Counseling Model Counseling Setting Where Will Counseling Take Place? Boundaries for Safety and Security Relational Style Relational/Communication Style Structure/Strategy Sessions Summation Supportive Feedback God's Riches at Christ's Expense Annotated Bibliography A Practical Pastoral Counseling Model This is an overview of the counseling position that I will take when working with clients/parishioners. I realize that this cannot encompass every eventuality that may occur during a counseling session, but it should be comprehensive enough to account for most of the possibilities
Moreover, all psychological problems are based on dysfunctional relationships; therefore, change must occur in the arena of personal connections (the William Glasser Institute, 2010). g. What is the role of cognitions or thoughts? According to Glasser, thoughts are just one aspect of "Total Behavior," which includes "acting, thinking, feeling, and physiology" (the William Glasser Institute, 2010). All human behavior is Total Behavior, and all human behavior is chosen. However, acting and
(Byrd and Byrd, 1993) The process of healing can be found, for example, in Luke 13:10-17, which refers to a woman who has been crippled for eighteen years. The healing takes place by the laying of hands on the women by Christ. In John 5:1-18 we have the story of a seriously ill man placed at pool waiting for healing. This episode stresses the importance of listening to Christ's instruction and
Sixth, I look at Alex's vocational personality. I do this by looking at her stories through with Holland's RIASEC hexagon. Using this tool I see that she most resembles the Enterprising type (Holland's Theory of Career Choice and You, 2009). She likes to be a leader, act with enthusiasm and enjoys being the center of attention. In Alex's case it appears that her choice of becoming an attorney and possibly getting
There are a variety of theoretical explanations that have been put forward to explain female abuse and violent crimes against women. These include feminist and gender theories and extend to theories of genetic pathology. However, in the criminological literature a distinction is made between two categories of explanation. On the one hand, there are theories that tend to focus on individual pathology and forms of deviance that can lead to these