Love ," the Author Attempts to Essay

Excerpt from Essay :

The author then proceeds to contradict himself or herself by referring to the Black Eyed Peas as mainstream. So, are the Black Eyed Peas up-and-coming or mainstream? Moreover, the author contends that it was refreshing to have a "mainstream music group" release a song with a positive message when the music the band was not considered to be mainstream until the release of "Where is the Love?" And the release of their third studio album.

The essay is also heavily biased against hip-hop, or at least it appears to be, through the arguments made the song is influential because the Black Eyed Peas were able to convey such a message through hip-hop music when hip-hop artists "are stereotyped as thugs who only talk about money, sex, and guns." By arguing hip-hop artists are negatively stereotyped without explaining that hip-hop is
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not limited to these views and the term can also be used to define a specific music style or a lifestyle.

I believe the paper could have made a greater impact on the reader if the author explained what about the song was especially influential and how it appealed to listeners to take a closer look at their surroundings. I also think that the author should have explained why the song was so important to the band, and more specifically, how the song transformed the band. In order to strengthen the arguments made in the paper, I would suggest the author consider how the paper is structured, present the argument from a more formal perspective, provide citations for claims made, and make sure the essay is free of grammatical errors, which detract from the point that the author is…

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The essay is also full of false and biased statements. For instance, the author contends the Black Eyed Peas were an up-and-coming hip-hop group at the time the song was released when, in fact, they had been around since 1995 and had released two albums prior to the 9/11 attacks. The author then proceeds to contradict himself or herself by referring to the Black Eyed Peas as mainstream. So, are the Black Eyed Peas up-and-coming or mainstream? Moreover, the author contends that it was refreshing to have a "mainstream music group" release a song with a positive message when the music the band was not considered to be mainstream until the release of "Where is the Love?" And the release of their third studio album.

The essay is also heavily biased against hip-hop, or at least it appears to be, through the arguments made the song is influential because the Black Eyed Peas were able to convey such a message through hip-hop music when hip-hop artists "are stereotyped as thugs who only talk about money, sex, and guns." By arguing hip-hop artists are negatively stereotyped without explaining that hip-hop is not limited to these views and the term can also be used to define a specific music style or a lifestyle.

I believe the paper could have made a greater impact on the reader if the author explained what about the song was especially influential and how it appealed to listeners to take a closer look at their surroundings. I also think that the author should have explained why the song was so important to the band, and more specifically, how the song transformed the band. In order to strengthen the arguments made in the paper, I would suggest the author consider how the paper is structured, present the argument from a more formal perspective, provide citations for claims made, and make sure the essay is free of grammatical errors, which detract from the point that the author is trying to get across.

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