Media representations of marriage coaching in the film Marriage Retreat

Media Representations of Marriage Coaching

Marriage Counseling

Media Representations of Marriage Counseling

The protagonists of the film are three married couples who are all friends and attend church together. Each couple experiences tension and discontent with their marriages. Rather than each wife and each husband taking personal responsibility for their actions that contributed to the unpleasant state of the marriage, each spouse wishes to force a change upon his/her spouse. While attending a church service one Sunday, the pastor introduces another couple that invites couples in trouble to a marriage retreat in the mountains. When they arrive in the mountains, what the couples think will happen and what they actually experience are vastly different. Through various activities, therapies, and accidents, the couples come to rediscover what they love about each other, ways to strengthen their marriage, as well as ways to improve themselves as individuals. The retreat weekend is an awakening, enlightenment, and epiphany for the protagonists as well as for the couple who runs the retreat. The couple who runs the retreat is additionally a couple that needs a refresher, unbeknownst to them. Overall, the film is concerned with communication, loving, introspection, and relationships.

First time viewers of Marriage Retreat should look for contrast. There is contrast among the couples themselves, what kinds of people they are, their personalities, the problems in their marriage, and their approach to the retreat. Viewers should also consider the contrast within the individuals and the couples when they first met, when their problems began, how the change over the course of the retreat, the status of their relationships at the close of the retreat, as well as the contrast in how each individual reflects upon and perceives themselves. Attention to contrast proves helpful to viewers who are in the same position as the couples as well someone who would counsel them.

One important scene or sequence of connected scenes is when the three husbands meet with the doctor individually to discuss their perspective on the problems in the marriage. The scene is very revealing about the personal history of each man and each man's perspective on his life, his marriage, and himself. The scene also demonstrates effective counseling techniques by Dr. Sullivan. Another scene/sequence is the parallel scene for the women. Sometimes couples need to take some space in order to come together. Another interesting aspects to these scenes is that the sessions with the counselor(s) do not last long. A stereotype of therapy is that sessions go on and on in order to be effective or productive.

Personal/Professional Implications

Films about relationships in trouble have the potential to be kitschy and melodramatic, but this film was cute. I was surprised at the production value put into this film, especially since there were not any A-list actors in the film. I did think the movie film kind of slowly and there could have been more ethnic diversity among the cast. There was a level of realism to the film. Certainly films like this have precedent and reason to exist as the divorce rates in America are staggering and have been so for decades. Clearly, marriage, the approach to marriage, and self knowledge are issues of significance in American culture. The film confirms that people in trouble marriages are tough to counsel. It confirms my perceptions that when there is a problem in a relationship, people are more likely to point fingers at others rather that personally reflect and take responsibility. The film also confirms my thoughts that taking people out of their element can shake them up and/or force them to evaluate their lives. I really appreciate the scene with the Sullivans around the fire because they are the strongest couple in the film, yet they have their own troubles to work through, and they do with honest communication and empathetic listening. They also managed to keep from getting angry while they discussed their problems, which is not to say they do not get emotional. I thought the character of James was the most unrealistic. The scene where the couples fight while the canoe is in the lake was well structured and funny.