Men and emotions: psychological and social perspectives

Men and Emotions

Most of us look around us, and we perceive our society in terms of the present. We forget, and perhaps some might not realize, that our society has evolved to the present from a patriarchal society governed by rules that have for centuries dictated the behavior of men in society. Until the 1970s, when American feminists had begun bringing about changes in the relationship between men and women, families and society, men were cast in the role of head of their families, bread winners, who were the main source of the family's income, and who had very little direct input in caring for and raising their children. This in which men were cast, and the changes that men have experienced in society since the 1970s, has undergone drastic change from the traditional role of bread winner. Today, men are not necessarily the main source of the family income, are expected to directly participate in raising their children from birth, and are generally expected to be more in touch with and expressive in communicating their emotions.

The film, The Wrestler (Aronofsky, Darren (Dir.) 2008), dramatizes the changes and the role of men in society today. In the film, starring Mickey Rourke as the wrestler Randy the Ram, tells the story of a once popular wrestling star, whose star is fading with his age, and with age, his body is experiencing the debilitating effects his career as a wrestling gladiator. The film begins long after the Ram's career has become less glorious, but Randy is poorly prepared to physically or mentally do other than that which still brings him the cheer of audiences, and that which continues let him feel like a man.

Randy is forced to face his physical decline after suffering a heart attack and undergoing bypass surgery. He makes an effort to conform to the reality of his physical impairment. He doesn't want to be alone, to die alone, and for the first time since his daughter was a young girl, he reaches out to her. He tries to explain to her that he was supposed to be the one who took care of the family, to make everybody happy, but that he failed. In the scene, Randy the Ram cries, exposing to his daughter the emotional place he is in. The emotional burden of a family was more difficult to face than the physical pain of wrestling, so he left her, and threw himself entirely into a career that required no emotions, only physical strength and endurance. Now, he confesses, he is a broken hunk of meat, and he doesn't want to be alone.

The step he took, exposing his emotional vulnerability, is more than he can emotionally take; and he lets his daughter down once again. Then he is confronted by a young punk while behind the counter of the deli job he took, and the punk is successful in provoking him, making him feel inadequate in his physical aging, and, with a violent outburst, Randy quits the job and returns to the wrestling circuit for what will be his last show.