Mil Spouse the Life of the Soldier

Mil Spouse

The life of the soldier is often examined throughout society today in many different formats, but often left out as a part of the story is the better half of the subject. Military spouses have their own unique story which helpfully contextualize the role and dedication to duty these entire families must endure. The purpose of this essay is to help bring understanding to the subject of military spouses by contrasting the beneficial and non-beneficial traits of this role. I will explore this subject by demonstrating the additional physical, emotional and spiritual requirements I have learned that are needed to attain in order to reach a sense of normalcy and purpose within their lives and relationships.

Military life can be divided into two distinct periods. These periods are defined by when the soldier is either home or deployed away from home on a mission. The roles of the family often require flexibility and cross training in order to keep the family going in its prescribed path of potential. When the soldier is home, different requirements and adjustments are needed then those required when the soldier is not there. The military spouse is often required to show courage in neither the husband or wife is deployed on a dangerous mission. Sitting around waiting is often harder than actually staying busy even if it is in a dangerous war zone. From personal experience, I understand that this lack of control requires a certain level of patience not commonly seen in those outside the military world.

Physically, when the soldier is deployed, the spouse must assume and perform the duties that that soldier usually completed when he was home. From my personal experience I know that fixing things that my spouse would usually fix created a whole new way of understanding things which allowed me for personal growth. If children are involved the physical tasks required to keep the household going doubles. Household errands including cleaning and laundry, now all fall on the responsibilities of one person instead of two. As a result of the physical demands, energy reserved for other purposes in life are now siphoned away. For example, just moving a piece of furniture around the house requires many extra steps and resources, when before, my spouse could handle it immediately.

There are some good things, however, when the spouse is physically not there. Laundry loads are smaller, meals aren't as extravagant and living expenses tend to go down. Doing extra physical duty does tend to increase my personal strength and stamina and provides new and different ways of exercising that is not available when my spouse is at home. As much as I love my spouse, the extra physical space within the house does provide a sense of freedom as well that is usually consumed with more people living inside the quarters.

The emotional weight placed upon my shoulders when my spouse is deployed is perhaps the greatest burden of all in my personal experience. Emotional support is not easy to turn on and off, but this talent is mandated by the military lifestyle due to the unpredictable nature of the task and conditions required of this segment of society. Technology such as e-mail, texting and cell phones has made the process easier for me, but nothing will ever satisfy the emotional toll of being separated for long periods of time under dangerous circumstances. Some may describe this as torture, and at times it does feel torturous, but on a good note, the celebration and emotional release when my spouse returns home is unbeatable. The waves of emotion come in large scale, where it fails it temporarily may hurt but when success is finally found, exhilaration and a sense of accomplishment can never be topped I have found.

Spiritually, most people seem are quick to overlook this quality of the human experience. The military spouse, require some sort of spiritual guidance, explicit or not, to help in the survival of these trying times. While I do not prefer being alone, the solitude offers a time for reflection and personal growth that would not otherwise be afforded to me in the times when my spouse is at home and not deployed. In choosing marriage however, we have chosen to find our spirituality together and this cannot be accomplished when we are separated. It seems as though for every one benefit of being a military spouse there is an exact opposite negative effect balancing this relationship.