Black Studies Monogamy - Marriage

Black Studies

Monogamy - Marriage for our Times

What is monogamy? According to author Helen E. Fisher, "The Oxford English Dictionary defines monogamy as 'the condition, rule or custom of being married to only one person at a time'" (Fisher 63). Thus, monogamy is the "accepted" social idea of a man and a woman who marry and raise a family. This does not imply fidelity, but implies that the man and woman are wed to each other and no one else. As Fisher continues "monogamy does not imply fidelity" (Fisher 63). Fidelity is another issue, but monogamy is the accepted way of conducting marriage because of several social and moral reasons, and it should continue as the accepted means of living together and raising a family for a number of reasons. The alternative to monogamy is polygamy, and it is unacceptable for a number of reasons.

Polygamy, or a man married to more than one woman at the same time, has been practiced in America, most notably by the Mormons in Utah. However, other groups, such as several Native American tribes, also practiced polygamy. The Mormons polygamous practices became known about the mid-1800s, and shocked most Americans. Mormon polygamy was outlawed in 1882. Some people believed polygamy was a religious issue, and it was not condoned by Christians. Others believe that many Christians did not condone polygamy because they associated it with the savagery of the Natives (Gibbs and Campbell 144). Thus, polygamy has been practiced in our country, but it has never survived or thrived, and that is as it should be.

There are many reasons why monogamy is the accepted practice in the United States, and many reasons why it should remain the only acceptable system of marriage. First, polygamy is against the law, as these researchers note, "The laws are clear in the United States. Persons are prohibited from marrying another while knowingly remaining married"

Gibbs and Campbell 144). However, even if polygamy is against the law, there are many other reasons why monogamy is the accepted practice and should remain that way. Most religions endorse monogamy, and it is the traditional family structure in the United States. Monogamy provides a more stable atmosphere for raising children, and it provides more stability for the adults, also. Monogamy is also less expensive than polygamy, for often, when a man has more than one wife and family, he must provide support for them all, along with separate living quarters, which can become a great financial burden.

Perhaps the biggest argument for monogamy is the moral argument. Most religious groups do not accept polygamy and believe it is a sin against nature and against one another. Even the first residents of Earth, Adam and Eve, were monogamous, and this tradition has continued throughout history in the Christian religion. In addition, there are emotional considerations to think about in polygamous relationships that are usually not present in monogamous relationships. Women may become jealous of each other, especially if the husband pays more attention to one woman rather than another. Even experts note that in polygamous relationships, it is common for two individuals to "pair up" and bond more fully than all the individuals in the group (Fisher 73). In addition, monogamy is natural, while polygamy is not. Author Fisher maintains, "Human beings almost never have to be cajoled into pairing. Instead, we do this naturally. We flirt. We feel infatuation. We fall in love. We marry. And the vast majority of us marry only one person at a time" (Fisher 72). Thus, monogamy is much more natural to us than polygamy. It is how humankind has conducted courtship and relationships for centuries, and that is because that is what seems natural and "right" to us and the way we manage our lives.