Mother Shapes a Daughter\'s Life

¶ … mother shapes a daughter's life for who they are today. It will focus on specific values and give examples of these values and why they are significant to a daughter. Mothers and daughters are not always the best of friends, but most daughters will eventually admit that they hold many of their mother's values and ideals, even if they do not want to admit it. Mothers shape their daughters, and daughters go on to shape their own daughters, and so, they carry on traditions and values from generation to generation, thanks to the nurturing aspects of most mothers.

Mother's shape their daughters' lives, as much as many daughters may not want to admit it. Mothers manage to do this in a variety of ways, from the way they cook and keep house to the way they deal with their relationships, their work life, and their home life. For example, a mother who is always on the go but still organized and effectively is silently shaping how her daughter will manage her own life, whether she knows it or not. Some of the things mothers do to shape their daughters are quite apparent, while others are quite subtle. For example, a mother may insist on family dinners, making sure the family sits down together at least a few nights a week to talk, enjoy a good home-cooked meal, and spend time together. This may not seem important to the daughter at the time, but later, when she has her own family, she may insist on the same thing instinctively. This is because her mother has shaped her thoughts and what she values, and she realizes that she also values quality time spent with her family, just as her mother did.

Everything that a mother does is not necessarily something that will shape her daughter's values in the future, but many things do, whether the mother realizes it or not. My mother let me help her in the kitchen at a young age. It was clear she enjoyed cooking and she made many "comfort" foods like meatloaf, mashed potatoes, spaghetti, and pot roast. Some of that came from her upbringing in New England, and some of that rubbed off on me. Now, I love to cook, and while I don't make a lot of heavy meals like my mom did, I do long for her turkey soup and meatloaf every once in a while. I like being in the kitchen, and when I cook, it often makes me think of my mom. She did not realize she was creating values in me at the time and neither did I, but today I value the time and effort that goes into a home cooked meal, and I enjoy doing it when I have the time.

Mothers influence their daughters like this all the time. If a mother is conservative in her political values, her daughter may not follow in her exact footsteps, but there will still be things that her daughter carries on, such as believing in a child coming home from school to a mom there to greet her. The daughter may be liberal and forward thinking in her politics, but some of her mother's more conservative values, such as being a stay-at-home mom, may still be deeply instilled in her. Just because some of the mother's ideas differ from the daughter's does not mean the daughter does not carry some of her mother's values, and that they do not matter in the daughter's life. Even the most rebellious daughter carries some of her mother in her, whether she likes it or not.

Mothers influence values in many other ways, too. If a mother is obsessed with fashion or with her figure and beauty, she may pass this on to her daughter, who will become quite involved in the "right" clothes and hair and staying thin. Some of these values may not be the best for the mother or the daughter, but the mother still has an influence over the child. Mother's are usually the very first person a baby bonds with, and they are usually there with the baby at the very early stages of life. Thus, the mother and child have a lifelong bond that cannot be broken, and can be quite influential when it matters most. This bond grows through time, and it is quite difficult to break. It adds credence to the values that mothers pass down to their daughters, because children tend to trust the person they first bond with, and daughters trust their mothers as they grow older. They may rebel for a while, but most daughters come to understand the worth of what they have learned from their mothers, which is why they tend to pass it along to their own children.