Childhood With Drug Parents Growing

¶ … Childhood with Drug Parents

Growing up is typically the same for everybody: you make friends, you experience feelings that are characteristic to a teenager, and you finally develop into an adult that is more or less capable to integrate society. However, things tend to be a little different when you grow up in a family where your mother and father are a crack whore, and, respectively, a drug dealer and addict. You gradually see that you are different from most kids in your school and that most of their "problems" are not even comparable to yours. I went through this phase and I wanted to shout my lungs out regarding my condition, as I knew that society was, to a certain degree, responsible for what I felt at the moment. Instead of doing this, however, I chose to act differently by focusing on making the world a better place, both for me and for the rest of society.

People expect a lot of things from life and some even believe that they deserve to experience particular events. I did not initially know what to expect, especially given that my parents' situation made it possible for me to consider that nothing could ever surprise me. You reach a point when you are tired and think that it is impossible for you to progress in the given circumstances. Even with that, the trick is to concentrate on believing that you can always do better.

Seeing my parents consumed by a devious world did not discourage me. Instead, it fueled me in doing everything in my power to be as different from them as possible. It is not necessarily that they were bad people, as their condition made it difficult for them to put across feelings that people typically experience within their families. In addition to the disadvantages coming along with living for most of my life in a home dominated by drugs, my experiences also helped me in seeing the world with different eyes. As bad as some days were, my parents indirectly taught me that I could be anything I wanted to as long as I did not fall victim to drug abuse. Through seeing them and the terrible effects that drugs had on their lives I learnt that I needed to be different and that it was very important for me to adopt a different attitude in regard to life.

I suffered a lot, especially during the first years of my life, as I had my needs and as my parents were rarely there to satisfy them. In spite of all these, I found that I was mainly responsible for my fate and that I needed to stay strong in order to make it through difficult times. The "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" expression perfectly applies in my case. It is not necessarily that my suffering strengthened me, as I gradually came to accept that I needed to act before it was too late.

Living in an addict family can certainly be problematic for someone who wants to employ a strategy that does not involve drugs in his or her life. Although I always felt repulsed by drugs, there were times when I considered acting similar to my mother and father for the simple reason that this is what I saw them doing for most of my life and because I felt that I was vulnerable to substances. After seeming to be disturbing for a very long time, something eventually becomes somewhat normal and you are inclined to consider that it is not as deranging as it once was. I came to understand (or, at least, this is what I think) what my mother and father felt like when they were on drugs and I felt less annoyed by the fact that they consumed toxic substances. This is practically their personality and it seemed impossible for me to do something to change how they felt about drugs.

My parents knew that they were hurting me through using drugs but these substances got the best of them and virtually made it impossible for them to get actively engaged in changing their lives. Outsiders are likely to consider that it is not difficult to quit an addiction and that addicts stay this way because they do not want to change. However, things are quite different when considering drug addiction. People initially have the possibility to stop but do not want to and later want to stop but find it impossible to do so. Furthermore, addiction influences them in putting across deviant behavior toward everyone, even when considering people that they have a strong relationship with. Connections are severed by the use of drugs and addicts can only focus on using substances as they struggle to make it through the day.

Surprisingly, drugs shaped my personality and made me who I am today. This is the strange thing about drugs -- they do not just influence individuals using them, as they have an effect on a wide range of other people, with addicts' families being the most exposed to the harmful effects of these substances. Drugs opened my eyes and made me acknowledge that life was difficult, but that I had do focus on performing activities that would guarantee my escape from the harsh environment that I lived in at home. Most of my life revolves around my hate toward drugs and people using them. I know that it is wrong to do so, but my experiences make it impossible for me to support these substances. I sometimes picture myself choosing a different path in life during my adolescence -- one that would be governed by drugs. I find that it is virtually a miracle that I did not do so, especially when considering that I could feel society's pressures more and more as I grew up. The fact that I saw my parents using drugs with the purpose of relaxing themselves almost influenced me in reproducing their behavior in an attempt to make my life less stressful. However, I rarely experienced such episodes and when I did I would quickly snap out of this disturbing state as I was horrified by my thinking. Having a member of your family addicted to strong substances enables you to see things differently. You gradually start to feel less sorry for him or her as your compassion turns into a feelings that is very difficult to put into words. It consists out of several elements, such as acceptance, disgust, forgiveness, and shock. It is as if you are traumatized and calm at the same time, this feeling most probably resulting from the fact that you know that there is little that you can do to help your own family.

I never had the chance to see life from the perspective of a normal child living in a normal family. There were always problems with me, with my family, and with my life in general. This is why I chose to say no to drugs and to people who are vulnerable to using them. Life taught me that I needed to stay away from drugs and that I also needed to help anyone who fell victim to drug use. I reached a point where I knew that my parents would continue to use drugs for most of their lives. Even with this, I never lost hope regarding the day when they will stop and I always struggled to have them focused on the real aspects of life.

While my parents were unable to raise me normally, their actions provided me with strength of will and influenced me in reaching the conclusion that one needs to be determined in order to succeed in life. People are generally exposed to a series of mediums that can shape their personality and that can change their future forever. If I were to choose to become a drug addict, it would have been very probable that I would become similar to my parents or even worse. Thus, I chose to stay in charge of my life through learning and through focusing of its positive aspects. By staying strong in times when you are most exposed, you are more likely to get good results in demanding situations. Many individuals ruin their lives as a result of making the wrong choices when they are presented with the chance to choose. These people are unable to understand that it is very important to think extensively before making a choice, as doing something wrong can have terrible consequences on your life. I believe that the fact that my parents were addicts played an important role in having me realize that life was all about correct choices. My parents chose to use drugs and this reflected on how they evolved as persons and on the fact that their child suffered as a consequence of their actions. Moreover, they did not take responsibility for their own actions and failed to understand that what they were doing was wrong. It is very likely that many children have been less fortunate than me and that they either became drug addicts themselves or they came to live on the streets as a result of having parents who express more interest in drugs than in their own children.