Life Lessons a Popular Piece

Life Lessons

A popular piece of advice offered by many is to live with "No Regrets." It is placed on inspirational posters and T-shirts and has become a popular mantra. Yet, how realistic is such advice and how many are able to live without regrets? As to others, I cannot speak but as for myself I know that I have regrets and one of my greatest involves the death of my best friend.

I grew up in the suburban of a large Midwestern city. It was generally a good life with my greatest concern on most days being how the weather would affect my daily activities. In growing up I met the individual who would eventually become my best friend when I was about 7 years old. From a spring day when we met at a local playground until his untimely death when we were both 18, we were virtually inseparable from that otherwise indistinguishable day.

For the most part I can remember very little about my life without my best friend being a part of it. We did nearly everything together. We joined the same activities. We associated with the same groups of friends. He was the last person I spoke to at night and the first person I spoke to every morning. I spent more time with him than I did with my own brothers and sisters. There was nothing that we did not share.

The value of a true friend is immeasurable and for me it was a tremendous comfort in my life. My parents were divorced early in my life and I was forced to live as the oldest of five children. As a result, I was placed in a position of having to shoulder a great deal of responsibility. My mother worked long hours and was often absent from the home. The responsibility of caring for my younger siblings was mine and the opportunities for me to be involved in activities outside the home were limited. My best friend provided me with access to the outside world. He helped me with my daily chores and stayed with me on those days when I was forced to take care of my siblings. We shared mutual interests in music and sports and would spend hours listening to music and discussing and watching sports. Although we did not always agree on every issue, I cannot remember us ever having a serious argument or disagreement about anything. In retrospect, it was a near perfect relationship.

As I grew older, so did my familial responsibilities. My siblings eventually became more independent and I was free to do more activities outside the home. This development, however, did little to change my relationship with my best friend. Instead of our spending endless hours inside my family home listening to music and discussing sports, my friend and I became actively involved in doing the things that teenage boys do. We began playing sports, hanging out at the local McDonald's, and working at odd jobs. Like before, we did everything together. We were inseparable.

One of the inevitable events in any young man's life is the development of an interest in young girls. For my best friend and me it happened at nearly the same time and, unfortunately, it manifested itself with the same girl. At the time we were both working for the same employer and the owner of the business had a daughter who was our age and was quite attractive. At first neither of us commented on our individual interest but, in time, it became obvious that we both were and, like we did everything, we began discussing the issue. We spent hours discussing our interests. It may seem odd to others but our friendship was intense and secure and I can honestly state that either of us would have been happy for the other if the young lady involved should choose either one of us.

Initially, I was the lucky recipient of the young lady's attention. We began seeing each other and did so for nearly a year and a half. My relationship with her did little, however, to change my relationship with my childhood best friend. We simply became a threesome. Occasionally, my friend would be dating someone as well and the threesome would become a foursome. The only constant was that we remained inseparable.

High school graduation brought a dramatic change. I left town to attend college and, for the first time since we were seven years old, my friend and me were separated. While I was gone, my friend and my old girlfriend started dating each other. Surprisingly, I was upset by this. I never felt that I would be but whether it was because I was not there or because I was so far away it bothered me greatly. After several acrimonious long-distance conversations regarding the matter my best friend and I stopped talking. The person who I had spent nearly every waking moment with for over a decade ceased being a part of my life but I was too stubborn to make the effort to resolve the matter.