Worldly Wisdom of Phyllis Beck Kritek: Art of Negotiation

Negotiating

My own weaknesses as a negotiator hinge upon those aspects of negotiation that involve lying. Of course, most instructors who teach the art of negotiation do not refer to it as "lying" but from a civilian perspective that is precisely what it is. In order to sell the art of negotiation to use, instructors refer to it as "framing" and "strategy." But of course "framing" could easily be translated into "omitting part of the truth for the purpose of strategic advantage" -- you say "we've had other offers" but neglect to mention that they were all less than half of the asking price, or neglect to mention that all the other offers that were had were subsequently withdrawn, or so forth. The simple fact is that the "framing" aspect of negotiation is basically about using an informational asymmetry in order to gain advantage over the other party, and frequently it entails manufacturing an informational asymmetry where none actually exists. This is frequently done by lying, as my interview with "Brett Shelley," an entertainment industry agent whose job entails substantial negotiation, will confirm. I think I have a solid enough grasp of strategy, although in general I take this to mean making a plan and sticking to it -- a refusal to agree unless a certain asking price has been met, whether or not this is the original stated asking price or not. Obviously the first person in negotiations to state a price places himself or herself at a strategic disadvantage, and I have slowly learned to avoid such situations. However, the simple difficulty is that I am not extremely comfortable lying to other people -- I cannot keep two sets of mental books, one of which entails the true facts of the situation and the other of which is the version I present strategically to others.

In terms of an action plan to improve my negotiation tactics -- focusing on the four core areas of framing, strategy, flexibility and emotions -- I have already identified my own weaknesses in terms of the first two. Flexibility is not a problem -- to me this is an element of advance planning, in which I must anticipate various different possibilities and how I would act in any given case. In other words, the point is to be flexible but not a pushover. I also think my emotional skills are good, in terms of reading other people during a negotiation, and in terms of keeping a handle on my own emotions and not allowing them to lead me into unwise choices in a negotiation process. I am good at sizing up the other person, having learned that one of my own personal heroes was said to have "underestimated" one of the most crucial negotiations of his career, but that his second-in-command noted that "it would be wrong to say that he underestimated" (Service 2004, 401). But the real difficulty is that I have identified my difficulties with "framing" and with "strategy" as being fundamentally based on a difficulty that I have in lying. Therefore it becomes necessary to formulate an action plan to improve my lying skills.

There are a number of different approaches I could take in order to improve my skills at lying. I could go to Catholic confessionals and confess to sins I didn't actually commit (blasphemy, arson), to see whether I'm capable of actually making things up when being questioned -- I'm sure that my own guilt about lying would be easily transferred into guilt about some fictional thing I did. I could cold-call strangers and gauge their willingness to vote for a political candidate who doesn't actually exist. I could start a Tumblr blog and follow the example of people who exhibit symptoms of "Munchausen by Internet," and make wild attention-seeking claims about having chronic illnesses I don't have or suffering horrific abuse that didn't actually occur. The difficulty with all of these strategies is that they don't overcome my fundamental sense that lying is not a good thing to do. So I think the best solution would probably be to take some acting lessons: actors, after all, are engaged in a form of lying but they are relying on their own internal sense of truth and honesty to make sure that their performances are lies that tell the truth. I am certain that some involvement in local community theater would probably improve my presentation in meetings and negotiation overall, so this seems like a good solution to the issue. Certainly it observes the wise words of Phyllis Beck Kritek, when she notes that we should "aim at balance, at righting an imbalance that does not serve the planet, the people on it, or the dreams we embrace" (Kritek 2002, 183).