Nonverbal Communication Last Saturday I

Nonverbal Communication

Last Saturday I met with my sister Bob and the following day I met with my good friend Karen. I am close with both Bob and Karen, who I have known since elementary school. Bob and I met for lunch at her house, where we talked at length for about an hour after eating Karen and I went shopping together, spending several hours together that Sunday. I told both Bob and Karen that I was learning about nonverbal communication but I don't think that influenced what we talked about or how they conducted themselves. Both conversations varied and we did not focus on one specific subject. However, Bob and I spoke at some length about her boyfriend and our brother. Karen and I spoke a lot about our career goals.

I have always felt comfortable talking to my sister. When I listen to her I tend to offer a lot of reassurances like nodding or saying "uh-huh" or "I understand." Sometimes I would punctuate the conversation by saying things like "Really?" Or "My god, that's awful," or "That's great!" I usually maintain eye contact with my sister when she speaks because I believe eye contact is the most significant sign that a person is listening. When my sister talks I sometimes touch her for extra reassurance if she shares some sensitive information. I will lean in to let her know I am listening and try my best to remain attentive and to not get distracted by any other thoughts or what is going on in the environment. To let my sister enjoy center-stage when she talked I also made sure not to interrupt her or to speak low so that I wasn't trying to compete with what she was trying to tell me. Similarly, if Bob were letting me talk or was asking me questions she would maintain eye contact and not raise her voice over mine. In general our communication styles are similar and work well because we have had so many years of experience listening to one another.

Conversations with Karen follow similar patterns of mutual respect. In the mall setting, however, our conversation was less private than the one I had with my sister Bob. Karen and I walked while we talked for half the afternoon and then sat down, but there were so many visual distractions in the mall that we did not pay as close attention to each other as we normally would. When she said something I was not looking at her half of the time and the same was true for her. If one of us said something sensitive or important then we would make a point to change our posture, body language, and facial expressions, using more eye contact and even stopping to stand still. I used less affirmative vocalizations like "Uh-Huh" than I did with Bob for similar reasons. In public and in a place with so many distractions it was hard to act as attentively as I would have liked to.