88). One of the expressed "joys" of middle age, is that people no longer worry about what everyone else says is right or wrong. Their self-esteem grows, and they are more certain of their own self-worth.
Thus, so what if some people become nostalgic for the past more than ever as they become older? It's fine as long as it does not completely make them immobile, but rather keeps them whole and stronger as individuals. Nostalgia does not have to be "mired in the swamps of middlebrow mushiness" or mean that "being impervious to the past is a badge of sophistication" (p.114). Being nostalgic can also mean gaining pleasure and learning from the past.
Let's face it, says the author, everyone also feels differently about physical changes that occur when becoming older. Is each new change with age a cause of shame or a badge of experience? Some people can easily abide the weight gain, wrinkles and flabby underarms. Others immediately rush off to the plastic surgeon to get lifted, tucked and botoxed. Anyway, who is she to reject vanity in others when her hair and makeup are always such a worry? Where does this leave her? To "work at my appearance to whatever extent helps me to feel good enough to free myself to work at what really matters to me" (p.153). This means keeping in good enough mental and physical shape, so she can do whatever makes her happy.
The bottom line, according to the author,...
Even more so, one has to decide what means the most in life, so the last decades can be lived to their fullest. Whether it is writing a book, spending time with friends, going out dancing, having sex with one's spouse, or spending time in solitude, each person has his or her own ways of going out in style. At the end of her book, Pogrebin gives some things that mean the most to her, as an individual.
Overall this book is a warm overview of what to expect when getting older. It may not make someone who cries about getting older become totally elated, but it may have him or her give thought to other things beside morbidity. Despite the author's statement that the book would be depressing, it is more sentimental than sad. She seems to have been able to come to terms with her own personal future and recognize how to live the years, decades, she has left.
According to Pogrebin, the truth is that there is no truth in how to live one's life. Although this is not a real profound statement, it is one that needs repeating every so often. Life is so short, that people forget they should be living it to the fullest. They have to find a happy balance between what they need for themselves and what others need from them to survive. Then they can leave this earth knowing that the short stay was well worth it.
