Online Dating Creative Writing

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Catfish Dating The objective of this study is to examine what is known as 'catfish dating'. According to the 'Urban Dictionary' a catfish is "someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances." (2015, p. 1)

The work of Saedi (2012) reports that Catfish dating is a reason for heartbreak for many people as the persona that is presented online by many individuals is a far cry from the reality of who they actually are. According to the website 'Your Tango' there are certain precautions one should take when attempting online dating. Firstly, one should always consider why an individual would want to meet someone that lives hundreds of miles away would be better off to meet someone that lives close to them. This type of person is either afraid of commitment in a severe manner or something else is seriously amiss. Secondly, any strange behavior should not pass under the radar of someone attempting to date online. According to 'Your Tango' website " people who claim to travel all the time, refuse to speak on the phone but prefer to text or in other words cannot "meet up and date like a normal human being, he or she is most likely hiding just how abnormal their true motives are." (2014, p. 1) Another clue is to simply pay attention to one's own instincts because generally this will inform the individual if something is just not right. (Your Tango, 2014, paraphrased)

Issue: Dangers of Catfish Dating

The primary issue in this study are the dangers of online 'Catfish' dating because one never knows who they are actually interacting with online. It is recommended that one insist on using communication websites such as Skype so that one can communicate in video and audio real-time mode with potential romantic partners. In fact, this is so prevalent that there is a television show on the subject. An anonymous source shares a particularly interesting case of 'Catfish Dating' in which an uninformed young man fell in love online with a beautiful, sexy, buxom, and desirable African 'woman'. This young man became very emotionally attached to this African-American woman with an extremely wonderful telephone voice and persona. This woman had learned this language allure through online sex lines whereby unsuspecting men talked with Kim Frank, otherwise known as Frank Kim. Indeed this woman had been on female hormones for 12 years but had undergone no serious transition to womanhood. This young man is now 'while psychologically impaired in some manner' involved with this half man/half woman. This is not to judge this individual according to the source because she appeared to have the heart and soul of a woman, had always felt a female, but yet she was not transitioned yet. In fact, she will be an asset to her world because she intends to counsel young people who are undergoing the same issues. However, the point is that online dating or 'Catfish Dating' is dangerous in more than one aspect for the individual. Online dating partners are shaded by the possibilities of the illusions and smoke and mirrors possible via the Internet highways, byways and often dangerous pathways to meeting one' future romantic partner or mate.

There are certain precautions that one should take when participating in 'Catfish Dating' including:

(1) One should always be careful how the other individual wants to communicate since "Catfish seldom like to communicate using phones or video chat.." (ABC Stallion, 2015, p. 1)

(2) One should note any profile activity that is suspicious. (ABC Stallion, 2015, p. 1)

There are reported to be ten ways one can tell you they are dating online including the following ten stated ways:

1. Web Search -- One should never be hesitant to 'Google' someone they have met online although many do "for fear of invading their privacy. The truth is, a quick web search may turn up a few pieces of information that confirm your significant other's identity. You don't have to pry or dig into personal backgrounds with in-depth reports. Just run a quick search and see what comes up." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

2. Insist on Webcam Chats -- One should always insist on webcam chats and when they meet someone that does not want to participate it is reported to be "often an indicator that she isn't who she claims to be. It's understandable to be hesitant about webchatting in the earliest stages of a relationship, but it's...

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3. Read Between the Lines -- It is reported to be all too easy to "miss signs that are literally right before your eyes when you're swept up in the excitement of a new romance. Before you get too emotionally invested, make a habit of reading between the lines of what he says and listening to what he doesn't say. Fabricating an entirely new personality isn't easy and you may be able to pick up on some subtle warning signs." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

4. Their Facebook Wall -- The creation of a Facebook profile that is fake is reported as very easy to do however, "making it look genuine is not. When you scan your new sweetie's Timeline, look at the things posted there. A plethora of games and app requests combined with a dearth of personal postings may be a red flag that the person you're dating doesn't actually exist. Think about the things that your own friends and family members post on your wall; if they're missing from his, it may be because the fictitious character you're chatting with has no friends or family." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

5. Critical Thinking -- Objective thinking it needed when one is emotionally involved however "When emotion takes over, it's difficult to think about things objectively and use your own common sense regarding the situation. In many cases, however, an entire false relationship could have been avoided with a bit of old-fashioned critical thinking. If something doesn't seem to add up, it's usually because there are holes in the story." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

6. Trust Your Instincts -- One should trust their instincts since they are in fact "a powerful detection tool, but they may be hard to follow when you're focused solely on your emotions. Having a hunch that all is not what it seems or a nagging feeling that something is off with your new relationship is a sure sign that you should dig a bit deeper before investing further." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

7. Look for Photo Tags -- It is reported that when there is an existence of "Group photos posted on Facebook or other social networking sites that include your honey, but have none of the other members tagged, can be a sign of a stolen picture. To realistically fake a fully-tagged group shot, a catfish would have to create and maintain that many fraudulent accounts. In the end, even the most dedicated sweetheart scammers probably won't have that kind of time on their hands." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

8. Use Dating Sites With Verification Services -- In order to avoid becoming involved with scam artists one should always use dating sites that have verification services. Stated is: To help stem the tide of con-artist heartthrobs, some online dating sites are offering verification services that ensure an account holder is who they claim to be. Using these sites to meet someone allows you an extra layer of security against catfish scams." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

9. Be Wary of Elaborate Excuses -- It is stated that while incidences such as "Car trouble or bad weather are par for the course in anyone's life, but if your online girlfriend keeps putting off meetings or webchats because she's been in a coma-inducing car accident before being sucked into a tornado and swallowed by a tsunami, there's a good chance there's a bit of dishonesty going on. Elaborate, over-the-top tales of woe are a trademark move of relationship scammers and can be a very reliable indicator that you're not talking to the person who you think." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

10. Pay Attention to Detail -- Finally, it is important to keep track of all "the many details that are necessary to convincingly fake an entire personality and life history is amazingly difficult. Simply keeping an eye out for details that don't add up or stories that don't fit into a proper timeline can give you all the evidence you need of an Internet sweetheart that's not shooting straight." (Scheff, 2013, p. 1)

Audience: Needs, Motivations and Influences

The audience addressed in this essay is one such as the unsuspecting young man, or the individual that is harmed physically or financially by what is known as 'Catfish Dating'. This is a practice that one should be fully informed and knowledgeable in testing out potential hook-ups for whatever they are seeking via the Internet.

Psychology Today reports in the work of Saedi, Ph.D. (2012) as follows:

"Though…

Sources Used in Documents:

References

Saiedi, GA (2012) Catfish and the Perils of Online Dating. Psychology Today. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/millennial-media/201212/catfish-and-the-perils-online-dating

Catfish (2015) Urban Dictionary. http://personaldatingassistants.com/how-to-catch-a-catfish-online-dating-catfish-signs/

Cossar, VM (2013) Catfish: When Online Dating Isn't All It Seems. 29 Jan 2012. Retrieved from: http://metro.co.uk/2013/01/28/catfish-when-online-dating-isnt-all-it-seems-3368966/

Scheff, S. (2013) Catfish Challenge: 10 Ways to Test Who You're Really Chatting With Online. Examiner.com. Retrieved from: http://www.examiner.com/article/catfish-challenge-10-ways-to-test-who-you-re-really-chatting-with-online
Precautions to Take When Being Catfished Online (2014) ABC Stallion. Retrieved from: http://www.abacstallion.com/articles/-precautions-to-take-to-avoid-being-catfished-online


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