Parenting styles and their effects on child development

Parenting Style

The impact of parenting style on development

The parenting style that has had the most pervasive influence on my personal growth and development is commonly known as the authoritative style. This is the style that I intend to use with the regard to the development of my two children and which, I believe, produces the most constructive results.

Parenting styles are described as theoretical constructs that are "...used to capture normal variations in parents' attempts to control and socialize their children" (Huang & Prochner, 2004). Any particularly theory of parenting is intended to determine parental response as well as parental demand in terms of their expectations of the way their child is nurtured and socialized. There are four main styles of parenting that are most often discussed in the literature. These are "authoritative, permissive, authoritarian and disengaged / neglectful" (Seddon, 2003, p. 26).

Of these I have chosen the authoritative as opposed to the authoritarian mode of parenting as the central style for the development of my children. This choice is largely due to the balance between care and instruction as well as the more democratic and open model of parenting that the authoritative model presents. As the following discussion will make clear, the choice of this style is based on my own experiences in my family where I was raised with firm boundaries and rules but also with an equally firm knowledge that I was loved and cared and that the rules and limits where there for my protection and guidance and not as an obstacle to my personal growth and development. This is therefore a style of balanced parenting that I would like to use in the parenting of my own children

In essence the authoritative style is a mode which is based on a balance between acceptance and openness and limits and rules. It is also a style that as been positively associated with the development of self-esteem as well as social competence and achievement in children. This style has also been found to "...promote more resilience in children and be more 'protective' of them..." (Seddon, 2003, p. 26/27) the central aspect which attracts me to this style is the fact that it balances instructional aspects and limitation with openness and discussion. In other words, it is a style which accommodates the feelings and aspirations of the parent and the child and is both nurturing and instructional.

This style therefore tends to satisfy my central view of what parenting should be all about. As Seddon (2003) states, there are two main tasks in parenting. These are; "...to provide a loving environment in which to nurture children's development and to help children learn how to behave and act in the world in an appropriate manner" (p.27). The authoritative style is one that encompasses both these important aspects. In terms of this theoretical stance as a parent I provide love and affection and at the same time set boundaries and limits to behavior. The child is aware of limitations that should not be transgresses but at the same time is also fully aware that they are cared for. In essence this mode of parenting is "...the best way to develop...self -confidence in the developing child" (Seddon, 2003, p. 27).

Central to this stance is communication. As has been noted, it is essentially a democratic style of parenting and the rules and limitations are explained to the child and not just imposed objectively, as would be the case in an authoritarian style of parenting. In the authoritative style there is a balance that is maintained between care and rules. Studies have shown that, "Children whose parents manage to strike the right balance in how they go about controlling and caring for them have been shown to benefit in many ways from their social skills to their achievement in school" ("Raising Kids the Right," 2006, p. 24) However, in the authoritarian mode there is a rigid structure which does not allow for any flexibility. It has also been found that "...being too rigid or having no boundaries in place can have a negative impact on your child. ("Raising Kids the Right," 2006, p. 24) the authoritarian approach is one in which there is little warmth, feeling or compassion and it is described as "uninvolved parenting..." (Cowan, Cowan, Ablow, Johnson & Measelle, 2005, p. 22). This is the opposite of the caring authoritative style. Only in extreme circumstances, where serious rules and limits haven been transgressed, would the authoritarian style be applied.