Child Grows Up or What

¶ … child grows up or what part of the world he or she is from, one thing always remains the same: they all go through different stages in their life. From the innocence of youth, to the rebellious teen years, to hopefully maturing into a responsible young adult, these stages are marked by their own specific traits. Growing up in Shen-Young China, my experiences were no different than those of a typical child who came from a family with a strong moral background. However, when I started maturing into a teenager, I had an experience that was not pleasant at all at the time, but did change my life considerably. Due to my rebellious nature and uncontrollable angst, my parents felt the need to send me away to a private boarding school in Beijing.

Youth is a time for exploration and discovery. However, once the teenage years are reached, it seems like there is a whole new world out there to discover. There are new friends to make, new types of parties to go to, and unfortunately new types of trouble to get into. As the youngest child in the family growing up, I tended to be spoiled and was able to get away with a lot more than my brother and sisters got away with. Although I thought I was really enjoying myself, my parents were still very strict and traditional and I didn't enjoy too much freedom. As I got a little older though, my parents offered me a little more freedom here and there to appease my begging. My need for freedom grew every time my parents allowed me to stay out a little longer or do something that I previously was not able to do. Eventually my parents caught onto me that I may have been pushing their boundaries and allowed my newfound freedom to affect my schoolwork, and they started to become stricter with me. This did not sit very well with me and led to this major turning point in my life.

As my freedom became more restricted and the rules became tighter, I had to come up with ways to get around it, so I could still enjoy my new friends and parties. This brought me to the point in my life that I am least proud of. I had to lie to my parents, who I respected very much, in order to get out of the house at nights and on the weekends. I also had to lie to them numerous times about my progress in school and the fact that I was even going to school at all. I would sneak out of the house on a weeknight after everyone had gone to sleep and stay out very late. I then needed to get home before my parents woke up and pretend I was asleep all the time. Then, when my parents woke me up to go to school, I would simply go to a friend's house and go to sleep for the entire day there. When the school tried to contact my house, I often intercepted the message so my parents did not receive it. This ploy worked well for a little while but once my parents caught on, I was in deep trouble.

All along my parents suspected that I may have been getting in trouble with school and have not been getting the grades I used to get. They realized that my old friends were not around the house as much and that I was hanging around older kids. My sisters recognized that I was undergoing major changes in my personality, but they all seemed to just let it keep happening. Until one day when they found out just how serious it was.

The day was like any other typical day for that time in my life. I was much more tired than I should have been because I was out the whole night before. I did not go to school that day and lied to my parents and my brother about doing so. Before we sat down to dinner, my parents said they had something to talk to me about. I thought they were just going to condemn me for not going to school that day. I figured that a teacher had called home and asked why I was not in school that day. I even pictured the disappointment on my mother's face as she realized that I lied to her. However, it was much more serious than that. It seems that my parents, along with my brother and sisters had a long conversation about the path I was beginning to take in life. They all knew a little bit about what was going on, but when they put it all together, I was doing a lot more wrong than any of them realized. They had talked about this a few days earlier and decided they would send me away to school in which they were able to keep a close guard on the behavior of all the students there. Once they found the school, they all sat me down, told me how much they all loved me and how this was in my best interest, and told me where I was going. I was going far away to Beijing with nobody I knew. I was going be away from all of the friends and problems that had corrupted me and away from all my old friends and family that I grew up with and shared so many great times. I did not react very well to this and knew that it would be the most difficult time in my life.

A few days after the conversation, I had all of my stuff packed and was ready to make the trek to Beijing and my new school. The whole way there I barely said a word to anyone. I had built up resentment towards my family in the days leading up to the trip and was in no mood to talk to any of them. I did not understand how my parents could give up their youngest daughter and how my brother and sisters were going to help them. It really felt like they were giving me away. Although my parents said they were helping me, I felt as if they were giving up on me, that they were sending me off to someone else so they could deal with my problems. We finally got to the school and I could see the sadness on my parents' faces. I thought at the time that they were just disappointed in the way I turned out as a child, but when I look back on it, I really think they were just sad that I wasn't going to be around for a while.

Predictably, my reaction to the school was not a positive one. I hated it the day I got there and each day I stayed, I hated it more. The teachers in charge and disciplinarians did not let you do anything and did not take any excuses for mischief or disobedience. Your work had to be done on time and done well, or it was not accepted. These strict guidelines, which I detested at the time, allowed me to become independent and organize my time better. I did not realize this at the time, but when looking back, I feel I developed a strong work ethic. The nights at the school were very lonely. Beijing in general, and the school were very new to me. I was very lonely and did not take well to my new classmates. My feelings towards my family became stronger and stronger until they turned into pure disgust. I could not believe that my parents would desert me in this way and just leave me in a place so unfamiliar and lonely to me. I knew I did a lot of wrong in my life and had lied to my family and loved ones, but I did not think it merited being abandoned in a strange town.