Personal Quality, Talent, Accomplishment, Contribution

¶ … personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Some people feel pressured from an early age to pursue a profession such as medicine, law, or engineering. A few of my friends have expressed the desire to become artists or writers, rather than enter such 'sensible' occupations. They complain that they are encouraged to enter a field that can get them a secure job and position upon graduation. They want to follow their passion instead. While I can relate to this sentiment, my situation is slightly different. I would have loved to have a family that wanted me to do something practical, like becoming an engineer. But until recently I kept these thoughts to myself.

My father had been in the fashion business all of his life. It was expected that I would follow in his footsteps. I went to a fashion school in New York City without questioning the assumption that my life would be like my father's. I was immediately required to take classes on the fashion business, textiles, and the different types of chemicals and fabrics used to make apparel. But the only things that really fired my imagination and made me excited about learning was working on my computer at home.

I could see that I was different from my classmates. I think a good indication of what is your heart's desire is what you choose to do in your leisure time. The other students awaited the latest release of Vogue and Elle with breathless anticipation. They congregated in the dormitory halls and talked about new trends and styles and the astonishing fabrics and colors used by the designers that season. A certain lurid shade of green was now 'the new black,' then black was 'the new black.' Their opinions were always very strong, but seemed to shift from month to month, week to week. They spent hours preparing for class: not their assignments, but what they were going to wear. I felt like I was trapped in a never-ending fashion show rather than an academic environment. I felt I was the only person who did not look at my image every time I passed a mirror, every time I happened to walk by a reflective surface.

Although I had grown up in the business, fashion seemed increasingly meaningless to me, just an arbitrary way of selling a false self every month, and making people feel bad about their appearance. It was all about trends, not beauty: one moment everyone loved skinny jeans; then suddenly skinny jeans were 'so last season.' I wanted to break free of this perpetual fashion show. What I really loved doing was working on my computer -- upgrading it and setting new challenges to understand how to work it. I quickly became the 'go to' person when anyone had a computer problem, although I never surfed fashion blogs like the other students. Reading PC World online was my pastime of choice.

It gradually began to dawn on me that I was in the wrong place, and everything I had been told about the right path for my future was wrong. I did not enjoy shopping. I did not feel as if my life depended on whether I bought flares or tapered trousers. I wanted something more concrete to study: that is why I wish to enter the field of computer science engineering. I came to a realization about my life's course in New York, but not the one I intended: I would leave New York, leave fashion, and pursue computer science.