Nick Hornby's "About a Boy": relationships and community in modern society

¶ … 1998 novel About a Boy addresses the gamut of human relationships within the context of post-modern life. Will and Marcus are unlikely friends. A generation gap apart, they seem to have little in common until they start to bond. Will Freeman is 36 years old, and a kid in many ways. He lies so that people will like him, and does not have a job because of his inheritance. Marcus is a 12-year-old boy whose mother is depressed and whose peers are bullied; Marcus seems destined toward stunted emotional growth and development until he meets Will. Will likely sees himself in Marcus, which is why their friendship was meaningful to both parties. The fact that their relationship becomes transformative and helps the two of them grow offers hope that all people can come to appreciate their quirks, preserving individuality while maintaining healthy relationships. About a Boy is therefore about the struggle to find friendship and meaning in the post-modern world.

Taking place in London, the story shows how the urban environment has not necessarily fostered intimacy in human relationships. People live in tight quarters in a city, but that does not mean that neighbors become friends. There is little social cohesion in the modern world. Marcus' parents are divorced. At the onset of the novel, Marcus has an immature understanding of the impact a divorce or breakup can have on people's lives -- and not even just the parties involved. "You wouldn't believe that so much could change just because a relationship ended," Marcus muses (Hornby 3). However, young Marcus remains unaware of the extent to which his mother's failed relationships are impacting his life and his ability to form relationships with other people. He watches a string of unsuccessful relationships between his mom and boyfriends, none of them fruitful and none of them helpful to his depressed mother. The home environment was unstable and unhealthy: "When Marcus and his mom argued, you could hear the important bits…but when his mum and her boyfriends argued, you could listen for hours and still miss the point" (Hornby 2).

When Marcus starts school in his new neighborhood, the indirect effects of the divorce become clear, as he is unable to make friends or find a niche. His first day of school says it all: the anxiety with which he watches the clock. Before he even arrives at school, Marcus knows that the intensity of the new social environment will be difficult for a boy who is aware of being shy. "Not being right for school was a big problem," Marcus notes (Hornby 12-13). Marcus is aware of being "weird," and also seems to know that "part of the reason he was weird was because his mum was weird," (Hornby 15). Marcus feels "different," and because he feels different, he feels "uncomfortable," (Hornby 16). Thus, About a Boy presents the core challenge of how a quirky, introverted individual can develop a strong sense of self-confidence. Is it possible for Marcus to remain true to himself while also fitting in with his peers? Marcus cannot even find an effective means to get along with his teachers; it seems as if he is on another planet. The only peer Marcus is able to bond with is Ellie, but their relationship is skewed and not based on genuine intimacy but on a mutual need to protect themselves against the outside world.

Will's issues with interpersonal relationships prove to be almost the opposite of Marcus's. For 36-year-old bachelor Will, socializing is not the issue. Unlike Marcus, Will likes to socialize and he likes parties. He prides himself on his string of one-night stands and brief relationships with girls. Will also prides himself on his not having to work for his money and for being generally "cool." What's more, Will does not like children -- or at least he doesn't at the onset of the novel. "I would rather eat one of Barney's dirty diapers" than have his own family, he states (Hornby 9). Will comes across as completely selfish: Will: "the only reason for having children, as far as Will could see, was so they could look after you when you were old and useless," (Hornby 10).

Therefore, Will and Marcus end up having much more in common than meets they eye, when they meet in the most unlikely of situations. Will has decided that to meet more women, he will join a single parent group because as he puts it, "sex with a single mother…beat the kind of sex he was used to, hands down," (Hornby 23). Pretending to be a single father to join the single parents meet-up, Will finally meets Marcus at a "Single Parents -- Alone Together" (SPAT) meeting. The name of the group is telling, since the book addresses the theme of being "alone together" in the urban environment; and on the flip side, being "alone together" in the sense of cultivating independence and freedom from within a romantic relationship as Will must learn to do in order to grow up. The acronym of SPAT also symbolizes the anger that brews in people who have contended with failing relationships. To "spit" at something is to express anger; just as Suzie comments about how angry the mothers are and that the SPAT meetings allow those mothers to get out their aggression -- to "spit" it out. This symbol is explored in the novel, as when Will and Fiona have a conversation: "Yes, that SPAT a lot," (Hornby 46). Fiona, Marcus's mom, grows too during the experiences in the novel because she starts to realize that her depression is linked to anger. Externalizing her depression in such a way helps her to change, too.

The confrontation with other people who have relationship issues ends up allowing a sort of community to form around dysfunctional behaviors. Marcus likes Will and even tries to hook him up with his mother but their relationship never comes to anything. Ironically, Marcus and Will develop the most meaningful relationship of the book. Marcus looks up to Will, and Will sees in Marcus a kind of project. He feels like he can do something for Marcus. Although at first Will is motivated by the same types of selfish issues that used to motivate him, gradually Will comes to care genuinely for Marcus. Will has a "history of pretending," meaning he is basically a pathological liar (Hornby 36). As Will falls in love genuinely with Rachel, his tendency to lie diminishes. He starts to become more human. His becoming more human allows Will to be a positive role model for Marcus. Their changes occur simultaneously, each one nurturing the other in ways that lead to positive transformations.