Working Mothers \"Women\'s Work\": Motherhood

Working Mothers

"Women's Work": Motherhood vs. Career

Tired after a long day at the office, a man in a brown hat and dark blue suit opens the door to his house and is greeted by everything he needs, wants, and expects -- the house is sparkling and clean, the smell of a just-finishing roast wafts in from the kitchen, and his beautiful wife approaches with a kiss, taking his jacket and closing the door behind him. The kids bound down the stairs, healthy, happy, and well cared for by their doting mother. Life is perfect in this vision of domestic life in the 1950s, and though things almost certainly never went this smoothly anywhere but on television (and often not even then), this was the expected norm for family life in the United States just a few generations ago. Central to this construct of the family was the role of the woman as wife, home maker, and mother. This last was and is often considered the essential role that women play in society; Western culture traditionally revered motherhood while at the same time severely limiting the activities of women to this specific role. As the decades have passed and women have been accepted -- however grudgingly at first -- into almost all areas of the workforce, there has been a portion of American society that has maintained the cultural beliefs regarding women's "place" in the home as mothers to their children rather than as individuals with careers. There are equally strong sentiments held by others that women are doing themselves a disservice if they choose not to have a career, and that devoting themselves full time to motherhood is simply buying into the patriarchal system. These different roles for women do not need to be seen as oppositional, however; it is quite possible and even necessary in current times to balance being a mother and having a career.

The duties and responsibilities of the members of a family, particularly of a husband and wife, have undergone some major changes in recent decades. Just a few generations ago, not only were women providing less in the way of financial assets to their families, but they were also less involved in financial planning and decision making. Now, however, it is not only more acceptable but generally more expected that all major decisions, financial and otherwise, are made by both individuals in a relationship (Working Mother 2009). Increasing "financial literacy" has given women the ability to take true advantage of the new cultural opportunities available today both in the workforce and in the home. The true partnership that is now a feature of many -- perhaps most -- marriages means that a woman can count on more help from her children's father, freeing up some time for the woman to pursue a career, go over finances, and contribute to the household in other ways that have been traditionally parts of the masculine domain (Working Mother 2009). Evelyn Viohl, a designer for Mattel, stresses the importance of figuring out which partner is best suited to certain financial tasks, and splitting the burden along those lines -- her husband, for instance, handles long-term financial planning, while Evelyn handles day-to-day expenses and budgeting (Working Mother 2009). This new type of partnership makes it unnecessary for women to choose between motherhood and a career, instead enabling them to do both. Of course, single mothers cannot truly take advantage of the re-defined terms of the marital partnership, but financial literacy and independence is even more important for women that are the sole head of their families.

Financial independence -- or rather the lack thereof -- has long been one of the major barriers to women seeking social and political equality with their male counterparts. Becoming a wife and mother was, in many cases, the only way for women to have the security of a home, food, and the other basic necessities of life. The satisfaction of women in this role was never really an object of inquiry or concern; it was simply the "natural" place for them to be, and that was that. As the new culture of working women and the overall feminist movement to establish gender equality has emerged, however, increasing amounts of evidence have emerged that stay-at-home mothers are more prone to depression, high levels of stress and anxiety, and even greater levels of dissatisfaction with their role as parents than women who balance their job as mothers with their careers outside their homes (Family Education 2009). This is one more reason that women should not limit themselves to either being a full-time mother and home maker or simply devoting all of their time and energy to a career. Working mothers actually show more satisfaction with both areas of their lives and show lower levels of stress than women who devote themselves solely to one pursuit or the other (Family Education 2009). Sally, for instance, is a mother of two who became so frustrated by a life centered solely around the home that she returned to work full time. Though she misses some of the time with her two young children (and has the added expense of providing care for them while she and her husband are at work), she feels that the time she does spend with her family is of a much higher quality than it was previously, and she feels more fulfilled as an individual as well (Family Education 2009). Independence needs to be nurtured to be fulfilling, and having a career as well as a family is a great modern advantage for many women.

Balancing both family and a career does not just make life easier, of course; there is a great deal of work and responsibility involved in maintaining a level of success and happiness in both areas of life. But research conducted towards the end of the twentieth century, when working mothers had become standard in society and the majority of households had become dependent on two incomes, shows that most women not only rise to the responsibility but actually seem to enjoy the balancing act more than men (Hochschild 2003). Men's roles in modern society have not changed nearly as drastically as women's have. Though now expected to share certain burdens, such as providing financially and materially for the family and making joint decisions, the expectation for their role as fathers and homemakers has not increased nearly the same amount. Though this situation appears to be shifting, and there is some evidence that men are actually dissatisfied by their lack of involvement in home and family life, it also appears as though women are better equipped at handling the variety of tasks and the enormity of the workload required by being both a mother and a full-time worker at an outside job (Hochschild 2003). Part of this has to do with the nature of the traditional contributions made to the home: men take care of repairs and major purchases that while perhaps pressing can usually be taken care of as time permits, whereas childcare and food preparation must occur at certain times and frequently throughout the day, making women far more used to the ongoing and incessant demands of making a home (Hochschild 2003). This has left women far more capable of maintaining a career in addition to continuing to contribute at home.

One of the primary arguments against women attempting to have successful careers and be mothers at the same time is the supposed detrimental effects that this will have on their children, but this is largely an outgrowth of the same mentality that suggests a woman's true "place" is in the home. Though on average it does appear as though children who do not have a parent (typically a mother) at home as a full-time caretaker do slightly worse in school, a closer examination of such statistics shows the fallacy of the assumption that children whose mother's do not work outside the home are somehow better prepared for life and more successful academically (Milne et al. 1986). There is no doubt that family background and the amount of parental affection, attention, and support has a huge effect on a child's success, both in academic performance and in social development. Due to the long-running tradition of women doing nothing but mothering their children, this was often -- even unconsciously -- interpreted to mean that children were better off when their mother provided constant attention and support. It is increasingly apparent however that the attention of both father and mother are important, in both similar and different ways, for the proper development and success of a child. The statistics that seem to suggest children are better off with mothers whose full attention is devoted to them actually include a great number of single-parent (specifically single-mother) households, and while there is compelling evidence that such a family situation is detrimental to a child's success and development, there is no reason to believe that a woman going to work is harmful to her children (Milne et al. 1986). In actuality, as long as there is enough love and support at home, a woman working outside the home could actually provide some very useful instruction to her children, not just on the redefinition of gender roles and the multiplicity of a woman's choices that has occurred in recent decades, but also on the responsibilities of life and the hard work it takes to achieve success.