Positive Aging and Friendship

Future Directions for Positive Aging
1: To Do List
My to-do list for joining community of Serenbe starts with writing a big thank you to the world and to God for giving me this opportunity. I want to express my gratitude and joy, and doing so is a health way to get in touch with the positive energy that will be of so much use in Serenbe. I will post this message on social media so that all my friends and loved ones can see where I am and can communicate their own love and support back to me. It will also be a good way for me to introduce myself to my new friends in the community of Serenbe.
Second on my list is to start eating right! Diet is one of the most important aspects of positive aging because a healthy and nutritious diet can keep you going like a well-oiled car. People who do not take care of their car engines generally do not expect their cars to live long, so if you want your car to last you have to treat it right—and the same goes for the body and mind starting with what you put into it. I am going to be buying organic, locally-produced fruits and vegetables, dairy and meat and using these as the basics of my diet while in Serenbe.
Third, I want to start exercising and getting in shape by walking in the mornings and evenings. This will also be an opportunity to get out into the community and makes friends with the locals. I aim to introduce myself to everyone and start making new friends immediately.
Fourth, I want to get reading. One way to keep the mind sharp is to keep it mentally challenged. I am going to ask around in the community to see what books people like and I will make a list of these and start reading them. This will keep my mind active and also give me something to have in common with the rest of the people in the community.
2: Letter to Friend
Dear Friend,
You know I am leaving for Serenbe soon and you have voiced your reservations about the community. I know what your concerns are: you see aging as a phenomenon that should best be avoided. It is depressing and dark, you say. It is without joy and it can weigh on a person’s mind. Younger people should be free from the concerns of the aged, who are closer to death and likely therefore to be less interested in the things of the world, the fun experiences to be had—with living! I understand your concerns: you are worried I may end up becoming an “old person” as you say. Have no fear. I am writing this letter to assure you that Serenbe is anything but what you have described. Quite apart from being a depressing place, it is actually full of joy and warmth, community and love. People there are like one big multi-generational family. The younger ones appreciate the older ones for their wisdom, experience and perspective. The older ones appreciate the younger ones for their energy, enthusiasm and innocence. There is joy and respect and love flowing in both directions because there is total acceptance for what the other is, knows and does.
There is a tremendous opportunity as well to get in touch with nature. Haven’t you always said that you yourself would prefer to be more in contact with nature instead of holed up in the concrete jungle that is the city life every day? You have often wished that you could lie out in a field at night and see the stars—I know this—you have told me on numerous occasions. Well, now I am going to such a place, and do you know why? It is because nature and wellness go together (), and that is why Serenbe has made every effort to keep the community as natural and pristine and organic as possible.
Aging is a natural process and should be accepted as such (Klein, Council & McGuire, 2005). Why don’t you, therefore, come out and join me and we can age along with the others in a natural way, without fear, without apprehension, and without prejudice? There will be no isolation: the elderly people in Serenbe are considered an important part of the community and they are given a great deal of respect because they have lived long lives and they can remember the way things were before the younger people were around. They give advice and guidance when asked, but they never push their views onto people because they want to be taken seriously and so they are always respectful of others, just as others are always respectful of them.
It is not like in the city where you are, where the old part are kept apart from the rest of society—parked in the old folks home where no one will have to see them or think of them, where the paid nurses are tasked with caring them (though they rarely do a good job), and the where the families are simply waiting for them to die so that they can collect their inheritance. How often you have complained about such families! You have said that they have no respect for human dignity or for life—that they are more concerned with themselves and money than they are with actually connecting with or relating to their mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, aunts and uncles. You have said that they do not deserve whatever inheritance is coming their way because they have not earned it.
Well, let me tell you that this is not the case in Serenbe. In Serenbe, people believe in each other and the find one another’s strengths and they promote them. They help each other to see what the others do well and they urge one another to pursue their talents and not to give up on them. They are interested in society and in community and in family. They do not ever think about sending someone away or putting someone in isolation because they know how important community and family and togetherness and belonging are.
Why are you so worried about what will happen to me? You should join me! Positive aging is simply the idea of aging with a positive mind—and in this respect it is the exact opposite of ageism, which is bias against the elderly and occurs when people view aging as detrimental to life and the elderly as basically useless (Katz, 2001). You are against ageism—you have said it numerous times. Yet you seem to embody it in your attitude towards my move to Serenbe. You are afraid I shall disappear! You think I am joining an old folks home!
But, no, this place is different. It is not a place where the elderly are forgotten: it is a place where they are embraced and are an active part in the community life. Rather than set on a shelf in a home, they are given places of honor and importance in the community. They are counselors and guides. They teach and lead and inspire. They are philosophers and artists. The young actively learn from them and both are rewarded with a spirit of mutual appreciation.
From the bottom of my heart, I implore you to come to Serenbe and be a part of a community—the way community is supposed to be. This is the way to a positive mind and a positive, healthy life. This is what people should be doing everywhere. If you join me here, you will see and you will want to take these lessons back home with you and spread them throughout the world.
Your friend,
X
References
Brymer, E., Cuddihy, T. F., & Sharma-Brymer, V. (2010). The role of nature-basedexperiences in the development and maintenance of wellness. Asia-Pacific Journal of Health, Sport and Physical Education, 1(2), 21-27.
Katz, S. (2001). Growing older without aging? Positive aging, anti-ageism, and anti-aging. Generations, 25(4), 27-32.
Klein, D. A., Council, K. J., & McGuire, S. L. (2005). Education to promote positive attitudes about aging. Educational Gerontology, 31(8), 591-601.