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¶ … parents, I have the fondest idea of becoming the next President of the U.S.A. And the craziest idea that I will succeed.
You see, aside from the fact that I am honored and blessed in having you as my parents and, therefore, have a skein of green blood flowing through me that makes it insupportable that I will not be America's next elected, I also have the dubious honor of possessing psychic powers that enables me to achieve my objectives. Psychic powers enable me to read others minds. They enable me to collapse into thick air, and re-emerge again (after disturbing and shocking others with benevolent or malicious intent depending on my mood). Psychic power has also transported me around the world and, in that guise, I have seen the misery and poverty of the world first hand, whilst also invisibly confabulating with people who suck and gorge off others. And it makes me angry and bitter -- Marxist, perhaps, to an extent -- and determined to help right the wrong of the earth.
I particularly believe this, and therefore particularly believe that I am born to be president, since the gods and demi-gods have feted me with miraculous powers and since our time needs it. Never, but once before, in American history ahs our country come so close to ruin....
The first Depression produced a Franklin Theodore Roosevelt. The second depression produced a -- ME. Add this up: the confluence of circumstances of you as my parents, psychic powers, and outstanding empathy for the downtrodden, as well as my birth to a people that need me, in a time that needs me, and I have no doubt in my mind, but one, that I am destined to be America's next president.
Part II.
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