Marriage concepts and applications

Pro Gay Marriage

Gay and lesbian marriage has become a controversial debate in contemporary society. There are heated arguments for and against the legalization of marriage between couples of the same sex. The underlying assumption for those in favor of gay marriages is that the central aspect of love, relationship and understanding should override all other issues. There are numerous factors that militate against the acceptance of gay marriage as an institution in modern society.

It is my contention that the various arguments against gay marriage are flawed and invalid. Gay marriage cannot be argued against on religious grounds, as this goes against the essential legal separation of church and state. Secondly the argument for gay marriage is in essence a civil rights issue, with the legitimacy of same-sex marriage firmly embedded in constitutional rights. But the most important argument for gay rights and marriage is that opposition to these rights are mostly based on stereotypes, ignorance and erroneous assumptions about same sex marriage and what it means to be gay. This paper will explicate and explore these issues.

Arguments

One of the central arguments against gay marriage is that it will have a negative affect on the institution of the family and adversely impact on the upbringing of children. Yet, there has been no proof of these claims and research has indicated that no significant difference has been identified between children brought up in family headed by a gay couple and a heterosexual family. Despite this there are still many people who have strong reservations about gay marriage and gay couples who rear children. The first question that arises in the research about gay marriage is why such avid opposition to the idea of gay marriage continues to exist, even for those who do not oppose basic rights for gay people.

More than half of all people in the United States oppose gay marriage, even though three fourths are otherwise supportive of gay rights. This means that many of the same people who are even passionately in favor of gay rights oppose gays on this one issue." (Bidstrup. K.)

One of the obvious reasons for this strong opposition is that there is considerable misunderstanding about the meaning of homosexual relationships in general. Secondly there is also the "erroneous assumption that gay people enjoy the same civil rights protections as everyone else.' (ibid) This is not the case. As will be discussed, the issue of civil rights is one of the central arguments for legitimacy of gay marriage.

The essential problems with regard to the rejection of gay marriage lie with stereotypes that have been projected about gay people and gay relationships. Some of the stereotypical assumptions include the image of the gay person and couple as being essentially promiscuous and typically incapable of forming a long-term relationship. The image projected onto the wider public is that gay couples generally have shallow and superficial relationships, which would, in terms of this prejudicial view, make them unsuitable for marriage and rearing a family. While it is obviously true that gay couples do sometimes have superficial relationships, it is erroneous to believe that they differ in this regard in any marked way from some heterosexual couples.

Studies of homosexuals' attitudes about relationships find that most lesbians and gay men say they very much want to have enduring close relationships... In surveys of gay men, between 40% and 60% of the men questioned were currently involved in a steady relationship (e.g., Bell & Weinberg, 1978; Harry, 1993; Jay & Young, 1997; Peplau & Cochran, 1981; Spada, 1979). In studies of lesbians, between 45% and 80% of women surveyed were currently in a steady relationship.... they indicate that a large proportion of homosexuals have stable close relationships.

Debunking stereotypes: about gay & lesbian relationships.)

Stereotypical images and perceptions have acted to present an imbalanced picture of gay relationships and have therefore impacted negatively on the acceptance of gay marriages. The gay marriage is in fact generally not based, as stereotypical thinking would have it, on mere physical attraction. The reality of gay relationships as an expression of total and committed identity is expressed in the following quotation.

The reality is that homosexuality is multidimensional, and is much more about love and affection than it is about sex. And this is what gay relationships are based on -- mutual attraction, love and affection. Sex, in a committed gay relationship, is merely a means of expressing that love, just the same as it is for heterosexuals. Being gay is much more profound than simply a sexual relationship; being gay is part of that person's core identity, and goes right the very center of his being. (Bidstrup S.)

One of the most commonly heard attacks against the idea of gay marriage is often couched in religious terms and is based on various assumptions and beliefs.

Those who argue in favor of gay marriage often invoke the constitution and the freedom and rights of the individual in a democratic society. This is an issue that relates to the idea of separation of state and church in American law." The Bible has absolutely no standing in American law, as was made clear by the intent of the First Amendment (and as was very explicitly stated by the founding fathers in their first treaty, the Treaty of Tripoli, in 1791) and because it doesn't, no one has the right to impose rules on anyone else simply because of something they perceive to be a moral injunction mandated by the Bible." (ibid)

This quotation refers to a number of critical issues. The most important being that the separation of church and state in Law prevents the imposition of one group's views, ideologies and prejudices on others who may not share these views. For example, if someone has different religious views and beliefs which permit gay marriage they should have an equal right to this view and lifestyle.

Not all world religions have a problem with homosexuality; many sects of Buddhism, for example, celebrate gay relationships freely and would like to have the authority to make them legal marriages. In that sense, their religious freedom is being infringed. If one believes in religious freedom, the recognition that opposition to gay marriage is based on religious arguments is reason enough to discount this argument. (Gay Marriage)

Ii is therefore not surprising that those least likely to favor gay marriage belong to religious groups. "Nearly half of Americans with relatively low religious commitment approve of allowing homosexual couples the right to marry, compared with just 17% of those who are more religious." (ibid)