Support groups for resolving romantic and relationship issues

¶ … Groups for Relationship Issues

Support groups do what their title implies that they do -- they provide emotional, psychological and community support for individuals that are struggling with problems. This paper discusses support groups that exist to help people resolve romantic and other relationship issues that can stand in the way of a normal, peaceful existence. This paper delves into several kinds of support groups that deal with relationship issues, and discusses the potential solutions that different support groups offer to troubled participants.

What are Support Groups? What do Support Groups actually do?

Generally speaking, support groups for relationship problems or other issues provide a mechanism that offers some kind of therapy in response to "...the needs of people dealing with stress caused by life transitions, crises, or chronic conditions" (Fagan, et al., 1996). There has been a "proliferation of support groups in recent years," Fagan writes, which is a reflection of the "increasing need for formal and info0rmal sources of assistance" in a society that is experiencing "rapid social change" and the geographical spread of families and friends (Fagan, 378).

Participation in support groups generally involves group members being willing to share very personal experiences "...in order to create a cohesive supportive system," Fagan writes. It is important to remember that support groups must be responsive to the common needs of individuals within the group. A leader of a support group cannot rule over the group like a dictator, but rather, he or she must share "authority with participants" but on the other hand, he or she must show the leadership that facilitates good concrete discussion and must also support the promotion of "a supportive environment" (Fagan, 378).

In the case of a support group for individuals that are struggling in a significant way with a relationship -- be it a family relationship (between father and daughter, or mother and son, or vice-versa) or a love relationship -- members of the support group must open up with each other and specifically identify their conflicts. Because it is very likely that once a support group member reveals a particularly thorny issue that has occurred in a relationship, others will relate to that thorny issue and a positive discussion can ensue.

Identified Group Treatment Description

The typical behavior that is associated with support groups -- which are not to be confused with "self-help" groups or "group therapy sessions" (which are mental health treatment sessions as a rule) -- is a shared understanding among group participants that information will be presented by individuals about coping with issues familiar to all group members. The principal issues to be face must be clearly understood out in front. There must be goals, according to the book Psychoeducational Groups (Brown, et al., 2011), that membership in the support group provides the following: a) "reduced feelings of guilt and shame"; b) an "increase connectedness to others"; c) provide a "reality check"; d) the group must "mobilize helpful but unrecognized strengths"; e) the group must "help members recognize stress and its impact"; f) the group should help guide members "in planning for the future"; and g) members must expect to learn "a self-care focus rather than having an self-absorbed one" (Brown, 250).

Group member typically agree to participate in support groups because they have perhaps lost "some quality or trait"; or they have an expectation of "impending doom or death"; or they have not had meaningful connections with others in romantic settings; or they simply feel vulnerable; or they have a sense of "helplessness and powerlessness to help or save themselves" (Brown, 250).

The Etiology of Support Groups

The need for and the cause upon which support groups are based on the need individuals have to understand the "condition, treatment, and how to cope with expected behaviors" (Brown, 247). Part of the need for a person participating in a support group is the stress that a person has been dealing with because of incomplete relationships, and it is well-known that psychological stress creates illnesses and it hampers the regular routines of otherwise well adjusted people.

Suddenly encountering dating violence in a relationship that started out beautiful and peaceful, for example, is a cause that will give a person motivation to become involved in a support group. Trauma is a common category that brings people into support groups, in particular high school female students who have had been physically abused. These young women attend support groups because: a) they need to heal from psychological wounds; b) they search for a sense of belonging; c) they search also for persons and situations they can trust; d) they need increased awareness of life's challenges; e) they lack a sense of empowerment; and f) they want to be able to appreciate their lives while they go through the years until adulthood (Brown, 247-48).

Effective Treatments for Support Group Members

A good support group should provide psychological and social solutions, that is, treatments that are viable to the participant. A peer-reviewed article in the Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology delves into support groups for Asians living in the United Kingdom. The authors worked with 70 couples (mostly 23 to 74 years of age) and learned through interviews that participants in these support groups had incomplete introductions to their partners. That is because some of the marriages were arranged by parents, and not spontaneously developed by the couples. By providing family support in conjunction with a support group of peers, and offering one-on-one communication with couples successful in their relationships proved to be helpful for these Asians, in particular among younger couples (Goodwin, et al., 2000). Rarely is a support group able to come up with provable treatments, but listening, learning, showing empathy for each other in session is a step in the right direction for treatments.

Ethical Considerations

In Judith Pearson's viewpoint, it would be unethical for the leader of a women's support group to recommend leaving a relationship. "Women who feel pressured" to leave a relationship may well drop out of the support group; also, women that are dependent on a relationship often feel "threatened by the possibility of being alone," no matter how miserable their relationship (Pearson, 1988). Hence, it is unethical to delve too deeply into what a woman should do in this case; rather, the leader of the support group should recommend "community resources," perhaps victim assistance programs, legal aid, public assistance and other resources (Pearson, 395).

Discussion - Summary

This paper pointed to what the literature reports as the initial environment for support groups in the 17th and 18th centuries. It is likely that there were support groups in ancient times; certainly it is likely that in ancient Greece early philosophers provided support groups in a philosophical context for young people curious about how the world works. Meanwhile, this paper also pointed out that support group dynamics are designed not necessarily as psychological interventions, but rather as places where people struggling with similar issues -- romance, for example -- can be heard and can be empowered to better understand their dilemma.

The fact that support groups are different from "self-help" groups -- and from formal psychological or psychiatric counseling -- was made clear in this paper. Romantic-themed support groups can take place anywhere in any context, providing the participants are all gathered together for similar purposes. This paper also discussed the leadership within a support group with romantic issues at hand; there should be no strong-armed tactics, or attempts by the leadership to rule with an iron hand. But occasionally leadership is vital in order to guide the conversation into the area most fruitful vis-a-vis the needs of the group.