Adults Who Were Bullied in School Bullying

Adults Who Were Bullied in School

Bullying is considered repeated acts over time that involves an imbalance of power between individuals. It can be verbal harassment, physical assault, coercion, manipulation, ignoring, or even subtler acts. Usually, psychologists find, bullying is done to coerce others by fear or threat, and occurs more often than one would imagine in the early years of elementary school ("Student Reports of Bullying," 2001). There is a pervading assumption that bullying is a "normal" part of childhood and encompasses nothing more than minor harassment, more recent and long-term studies have found that intensive bullying in elementary school may have lasting psychological effects well throughout school age, and into adulthood (Nansel, et.al,, 2001, 2003). Overall, the statistics are staggering, and surprising:

White, non-Hispanic students are more likely than other ethnic minority children to be bullied but a factor of 5%.

In an average school, 15% of White and 8-10% non-White, for a total of 25% of the school report being bullied.

Younger students are more likely to be bullied, (up to 24% in 6th grade, but down to 7% by 12th).

Gangs have a prominent effect on the incidence and severity of bullying; but if school is supervised by hall monitors, police officers or security personnel, the incident drops by 40-50%

Victims of bullying are more likely to experience a criminal victimization at school, and more prone to being attacked off school grounds; thus making them fearful of certain areas and events.

Psychological health, grade point average, and participation in both in school and after school events are mitigated by bullying ("2001 Crime Supplement," statistical overview).

What is surprising in these findings points to the fact that the statistics regarding bullying are not, as one might expect, focused predominantly on boys. While boys and girls mature and socially interact differently, 30-40% of the bullying reported above occurs with "mean girls," or girls who bully. Because of the manner in which girls socialize, sometimes it is more difficult to recognize girl bullies, at least at a younger age. The tactics, in fact, used by "mean girls" are somewhat distorted versions of socio-psychological development. For instance, when girls bully, they use tactics like alienation, ostracism, deliberate and calculated random exclusions, and deliberate gossip and rumor used to harass (Simmons, 2003). Bullying is on the rise, dramatically increasing for a variety of psychological reasons that are still being debated. Some say it is the increasing amount of violence in video games and on television; others say it is a lack of appropriate interaction on the playground and more opportunities, still others say that there is a social consequence to the manner in which computers and social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) allow for more subtle forms of bullying:

(Source: ebasedprevention.org)

When boys bully, it is usually easier to spot -- physical violence, name calling, roughness, and aggressive and outward physical behaviors. Girls are more psychological, more emotional, and less forgiving and in for the long-term approach. Mean girls enjoy exerting control by inciting other children to gang up or act aggressively while they watch. They form hierarchical groups that pick and choose members at random and exclude others without real reason. And, they are notorious for acting congenial when teachers or adults are near, then quickly reverting to emotional torture at other times (Senn and Bowman, 207; Randall and Bowmann, 2007). The seminal question though, asks what happens to children who are excessively bullied as they mature? Are there cognitive effects? Learning issues? Or even difficulties with socialization and interaction because of a pattern of bullying at an early age.

The Problem -- Bullying in School - There are three prominent conditions that must exist within a school situation to encourage bullying: the individual or group that perceives itself in power and attempts to victimize others; a location that has little or no adult supervision; and, the potential victim -- a student or group that is somehow substantially weaker or more disenfranchised than classmates. At times, effective bullying feeds on a fourth element -- student bystanders. These alternative groups chose whether to assist the victim by challenging the bullying, or to encourage the bullying behavior by acting in an emotional feeding frenzy (Wright, 2003, 3).

One of the more difficult issues surrounding girl bullying, or the mean girl syndrome, is that it is often difficult to identify from a distance. Most adults are far slower to react to girl bullying, and have the mindset that not all children will be friends, that the social structure of the school system encourages groups, and that, like the outside world, school reinforces the idea of social hierarchy. This is certainly true -- it is normal for children to form social groups and include/exclude others. However, it becomes bullying when these groups use power to intentionally hurt or harass others. Having a group of friends is normal; having friends who work to please the group leader by their meanness to others is another (Karres, 2004).

Also unlike boys, mean girls tend to work in packs. At a young age it is so incredibly hurtful to be excluded on the playground, at lunch, or even within the class environment. Yet this preponderance of emotional violence is a powerful, and sadistic tool. Typical mean girl behavior makes one feel aliened and isolated from the school society (Dellasega, 2003). Tactics include:

anonymous prank phone calls or harassing emails from dummy accounts playing jokes or tricks designed to embarrass and humiliate deliberate exclusion of other children for no real reason whispering in front of others with the intent to make them feel left out name calling, rumor spreading and other malicious verbal interactions being friends one week and then turning against a peer the next week with no incident or reason for the alienation encouraging other kids to ignore or pick on a specific child inciting others to act out violently or aggressively

Finding solutions for school bullying can be difficult and often requires that several adult professionals work together to change the bullying behavior. It first requires an empathetic and consistent approach by the adult in charge, and also necessitates active teaching and follow-up to prevent recurrence. One teacher suggests the 3-R's program, playing off the old adage about what was important to learn in school (Nansel, 2001

1. Restitution -- Adults actively help the child fix what is broken and work with children to teach them how and why to take responsibility for their own actions.

2. Resolution -- Develop plans to prevent future trouble that conditions with positive acts, thus building self-esteem and optimism.

3. Reconciliation -- Teaching to heal those who are harmed; victims, bystanders and others who have been pulled into the matrix (Jones, 2008; Davis, 2009).

Thus, instead of a fear-based paradigm of threats or intimidation, the 3-R approach allows a positive, proactive plan to be in place that becomes part of the interactive approach to learning. It benefits the entire community, healing takes more time to see results, but in the long run, the results tend to stabilize.

Finally, one of the most promising tactics regarding bullying is the preventative approach. As educators, we know at some time bullying behavior will be part of the classroom culture. So, in order to minimize the effects, and perhaps prevent a serious outbreak, using resources to teach anti-aggressive behavior (films, movies, cartoons); coupled with a regular mechanism within the classroom culture to allow for free expression and discussion, will draw attention to unacceptable behaviors and allow for greater intervention. In particular, many psychologists suggest that teachers focus on bystander behavior in school situations. Teach children to observe bullying to act in such a way that the bullying behavior is discouraged, including any social or psychological torture that might be covert. By encouraging bystanders to take part in positive behavioral intervention, at least half of school bullying may be stopped before it has a chance to spread. Teaching moral behavior and rewarding empathy will also have effects upon other areas of the student's life. After all -- who wouldn't want to be a "playground hero" (Rigby, 2007).

Characteristics of the Bully/Victim -- Certainly each different psychological profile of a person who bullies and a person who is bullied is slightly different. However, there are some characteristics that tend to occur in these personalities that often manifest into adulthood. For instance, children who bully:

Are often excited by their behavior and enjoy the sense of power and control that comes over them.

They tend to lack compassion and enjoy causing pain, almost sadistic in that they are calm when hurting others, blaming the victim for being a victim.

Tend to be average students with a small network of friends.

Are often successful at hiding their bullying behavior.

When boys, use physical force, insults, and threats.

When girls rely on social alienation and intimidation (exclusion, threatening, or other forms of psychological torture).

Similarly, there are different types of victimized behavior that measurable psychological characteristics. The passive victim:

Shows a lot of emotion, but rarely tell about being bullied, preferring to endure rather than make matters worse.

Are sensitive, cry easily, and may be shy and lacking in self-esteem.

Are usually chosen last or left out, but do not encourage the attack.

Are often anxious and easily upset, have few or no friends.

Are bullied repeatedly, but sometimes use money or toys as bribes for protection.

Children who are provocative victims:

Are quick tempered and prone to fight back, but are often pesky and repeatedly irritate others.

Provoke bullies -- egg them on, and, in some cases look like they are bullies themselves, but always lose in the end.

Are clumsy, restless, with little locus of control (The Bully/Victim Characteristics Chart, 2001; (Frisen, Jonsson and Persson, 2007).

It is interesting to note that academically, the results of bully characteristics often indicate contrary findings regarding the overt personality types. Many studies find that bullies do lack self-esteem, and use the bullying activities to "prop up their own egos." Still others say that it is not self-esteem that tends to propel the bully, but the manner in which the victim expresses fear or terror -- bullies are excited by this feeling of power (O'Moore and Kirkham, 2001).

Victims, however, tend to find that the best way to make the behavior stop is to no longer deviate from the normative behavior of the group -- to fit in better with their peers. The same pattern was also found in a longitudinal study that traced victims from childhood to early adulthood -- if the former victims were more "normal" parts of society by ages 21-23, they were no longer being bullied. The research shows this as a consequence of the boys, having left school and parents, had greater freedom in choosing their own social environments, clothing, and decisions about acculturation (Olewus, 1993).

Group Behaviors - Much of the research surrounding bullying deals with the notion of human group behavior -- who is outside, who is inside, and why. By the very nature of culture and humanity, humans tend to be group animals -- they thrive in groups, coalesce into groups, indeed, the very process of moving from hunter-gatherer to cities was part of a group behavior. Within this essay we will first look at group normative behavior, intergroup communication and leadership, and finally the way in which group behaviors influence individuation and specific responses to that group's culture. Two important terms are necessary to help define group communication: interpersonal communication and group communication/interaction (this can occur between small, medium, and large sized groups).Interpersonal communication is the manner in which associations exist between individuals. These relationships involve interdependence, but also influences, and impact. Group communication mixed interpersonal communications with social clustering and more robust interactions (BeeBe and Masterson, 2006).

Group norms are defined as a set of internal rulings that are followed by the group members in order to increase the overall efficiency of the group's activity. These norms usually refer to the members' behavior towards themselves, their hierarchical superior and group outsiders, as well as to their approach and attitude towards the work they are expected to perform. Norms determine the way in which groups solve problems, make decisions and do their work. They influence interactions between members and between the group and the facilitator. Norms reflect the group's culture of shared values. Because the idea of shared values is not linear, but cultural and chronological dependent, bullying behavior for those outside the group norm is inconsistent. The norms differ from a group to another; however, there is a set of commonly used rules. These refer to: taboo subjects, open expression of feelings, interrupting or challenging the tutor, volunteering one's services, avoiding conflict, length and frequency of contributions. Additionally, group norms tend to cluster around four types of activity: participation, decision making, mutual aid, and affective expression (Bulach, Fulbright, and Williams, 2003; Characteristics of a Group - Norms, 2004).

Bullied Children into Adulthood- Because of the difficulty in accurate longitudinal studies focusing on children who have been bullied in younger ages, there is little empirical research focusing on the historical and mid-to-long-term causes bullying might have for adults. Many children, as they mature, lose the signals that excite the bully; obesity, glasses, braces, not fitting in, etc. And are therefore able to move beyond the role of the victim. However, of those adults who are in treatment for anxiety and depression, fully one-quarter report having experienced bullying that was severe and traumatic. However, these same individuals reported a number of different correlative behaviors that were also relevant to bullying: parental over-control, illness or disability, or the tendency to have an inhibited temperament early in life (Gladstone, Park and Malhi, 2006).

However, there is evidence as well that two things happen regarding bullies and victims who begin to exhibit this type of behavior as children: 1) there can be long-lasting damage to victims, and 2) some of the behaviors may translate into adult manifestations of the bully-victim paradigm. First, as a victim of bullying experiences, there is a great deal of mild to severe trauma; physical or emotional or both. It turns out that the physical damage seems to actually be the lesser of the two evils, and heals quicker. What appears to be far more troublesome, and long-lasting, is the unseen wounds the victims endure to their own self-concept, their identity; and the fear and self-loathing many victims feel that damages their ability to view themselves are less than desireable, incapable, and clearly an ineffective individual. The consequences to this, if repeated enough, is that these individuals become more susceptible to depression, anger, and bitterness. It is a learned helplessness that teaches the victim is powerless to defend, and when contemplating one's individuality, continued bullying indicates that others see you as weak and pathetic. We must remember, children do not have well developed brains, their world of perceptions and view of time and chronology is quite different. An adult can easily say, "just ignore it," but for a child, the continued push into a no-power zone can change the child's view of themselves and the world (Dombeck, 2007).

There are a number of interesting statistics surrounding bullies as well. It seems that unless there is adequate intervention, bullies stay in the bully role for as long as they can; as do the victims. For whatever the reason, pyschologically these individuals are getting the stimuli thay have not only come to expect, but that which they seem to covet -- if for only the familiarity of the source (Salmivalli, 2001) Even when the victim/bully behavior does not continue through high-school, though, it appears there is still a stigma and a self-definition of being a bully or victim that is retained. Further, some studies have shown a connection between bullying and later criminality showing that 60% of those who bullied between grades 6 and 9 had at least one criminal conviction on their record by age of 24; 40% had three or more convictions, when compared to non-bullying boys (Olweus, 1993). Similarly, the pattern seems to stick. A study asked boys when they were bullies at age 14, then 18, then again at 32; 20% said that they continued to "be a bit of a bully" into adulthood, and of those who considered themselves still bullies, 20% had been convicted of some form of violent behavior (Farrington, 1993).