Strengthening families through Christian mission and spiritual legacy

¶ … Family to Family by Pipes and Lee

After earning his Doctor of Ministry from Luther Rice Seminary, Dr. Jerry Pipes dedicated his life to the cause of using spirituality as the foundation for strengthening family ties, with Family to Family: Leaving a Lasting Legacy standing as one of his lasting contributions to that cause. Victor Lee -- Pipes' co-author on the project -- serves as the Minister of Single Adults & Evangelism at First Baptist Concord, in Knoxville, Tennessee, and his specialized skill set in the realm of ministry to young people is prevalent throughout the book. Together, Pipes and Lee combine to tackle the age-old dilemma facing families everywhere: emotional distance between spouses, a lack of connection between parents and children, and rivalries between siblings. Rather than devote several chapters to a discussion of why these problems seem to afflict families across all spectrums -- including religious and secular or lower- and upper-class family units -- Pipes and Lee immediately diagnose the problem as deriving directly from the inherent selfishness which plagues all individuals.

From an organizational perspective, the book is arranged into six highly informative chapters -- 1) Healthy Families; 2) Developing a Mission Statement; 3) Passing the Baton; 4) Out of the House, Into the World; 5) Out of Your World, Into the Church; and 6) Sharing the Message -- with each chapter offering proactive advice for families struggling to reconcile their naturally selfish tendencies with their inherent love for one another. In the second chapter, Pipes and Lee express their view that any family committed to living a healthy Christian lifestyle should consider the adoption of a Mission Statement to guide their conduct, asserting that "a family mission statement will serve as a centerline and guardrails for your family on the road through life… and help us make Christ's priorities our priorities."1 The crux of the argument put forth in Chapter 2 echoes the thematic foundation of the entire book, as Pipes and Lee continually contend that a life of faith and devotion to the Lord is the only truly effective way of navigating life's endless array of unexpected trials and tribulations. Pipes and Lee state that a family mission statement "must not be just a set of words, but a description of a lifestyle -- one that is consistent with and reflective of the Word of God" because "if you serve Christ, you serve His purposes,"2 and it is this concept of worshipful living in the name of family bonding which provides the basis for the book's rhetorical objectives.

Concrete Response

From a personal perspective one of the most compelling sections of the book concerned the concepts of teaching and learning, as Pipes and Lee reveal that children learn as much from subtle absorption of behavior exhibited by others as they do from formal instruction in the educational setting. Upon reading this passage, I began to recall instances in my own childhood when I found myself observing adults acting in ways which diverged from the lessons learned in

1. Jerry Pipes and Victor Lee. Family to Family: Leaving a Lasting Legacy. (Alpharetta, GA: North

American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention, 1999), p. 25.

2. Ibid, p. 27.

church and school, like when strangers on the street would curse each other during arguments, or when my parents would gossip about our neighbors. According to Pipes and Lee "teaching is not telling and listening is not learning. Modeling is teaching. Observing, then doing, is learning,"3 and even at a young age I likely patterned my own behavior on that actions and attitudes displayed by the adults around me. From the standpoint of Christian teachings, obviously I have vivid memories of watching the nightly news with my parents, and watching them struggle to answer when I would invariably ask about the Catholic Church's ever-widening scandals. Although their evasions were not nearly enough to shake my faith, I know that the strict sense of obedience to church elders which once guided my childhood was replaced by a more pragmatic consideration for worldly authorities, and in many ways this only served to strengthen my commitment to following the Lord's path in my daily life.

Action

Upon reading the entirety of Family to Family: Leaving a Lasting Legacy, I found myself considering the actions which could be integrated into my own life in the name of spiritual-based

4. Ibid, p. 11.

improvement, as many of the lessons imparted by Pipes and Lee seemed to resonate with me as a student living away from their family. Specifically, the ideas contained in Chapter 5 ("Out of Your World, Into the Church") compelled me to reflect on the depth and scope of my parents and their commitment to ministering as a family before I departed for college. One action step I hope to embrace during my time gaining a formal education is to return home on a regular basis for the sake of worship and spiritual study with my parents and younger siblings. As Pipes and Lee state, the use of family mission trips and direct community work completed as a family alongside a church group can be immensely rewarding, providing the perfect platform for genuine interaction between family members which aligns Christian teachings.5 By making time for spiritual connection with my parents and siblings, I can ensure that even upon returning to school our bonds will endure the inevitable bouts of homesickness and emotional upheaval the separation anxiety can create.

A second action step I've been considering since reading the book concerns the pursuit of evangelism advocated by Pipes and Lee in Chapter 5, wherein the authors implore young readers to reaffirm their personal faith by instructing others as to the teachings of Christ and his disciples. When learning about the seven types of relationships people have in their lives -- each representing golden opportunities to pursue evangelism -- I began wondering if I had neglected to embrace such opportunity in my earlier years. The model created by Pipes and Lee is depicted by an image of concentric circles which spread outward, with the "self" remaining at the center and each circle expanding to eventually cover "person X," or a stranger you have yet to meet.6

5. Ibid, p. 71-73.

6. Ibid, p. 58.

I hope to open myself up to these daily opportunities for evangelical teaching, searching for people in my academic, professional or personal lives who may benefit from exposure to biblical teachings. Remaining mindful of the views held by others must be paramount, however, because in my mind many chances for genuine conversion are lost due to the overzealous overtures made by overeager Christians bursting with enthusiasm as they try to spread the Good Word.

The final action step I will attempt to integrate into my routine involves the Mission Statement advocated by Pipes and Lee in the book's second chapter,7 as I firmly believe the structure provided by a tangible document such as this is integral to the pursuit of lasting change on a personal level. By creating separate Mission Statements -- one for my own life here at school and another for my life at home with my family -- I hope to organize my spiritual development according to a preset plan, with certain benchmarks set along the way to serve as motivation for continued growth and development. Combined with my first action step (returning home more often to engage in ministry and spiritual expansion alongside my family), I am convinced that the use of a clearly defined mission statement will strengthen our collective commitment to Christian teachings, as well as my own pledge to pursue a more spiritual lifestyle.

7. Ibid, p. 24.