¶ … Job-Application Letter
There are several positive aspects of the letter reviewed within this assignment and which will be evaluated herein. It is obvious from even a cursory read of this document that the author is very confident and fairly talented. However, there is a thin line between confidence and overstepping one's boundaries, and there are a few places in the letter in which the author's approach could stand some restructuring and re-phrasing to emphasize a greater degree of professionalism. By adhering to a more formal format for this cover letter, it is not improbable that the author could obtain the position that he desires.
Still, the basic structure of the letter itself is commendable. The fact that the author has written this on letterhead with his contact information at the top is beneficial, and he follows the general structure for a business letter nicely, including leaving a space between the "Sincerely" and his name to sign it. Still, it appears that his introductory remarks are a little less formal, and somewhat more maundering, than they should be. The author begins the letter by asserting that "It was with great interest that I read your recent posting in the Times for an IT Security Specialist. Managing large-scale security projects requires a unique blend of expertise in strategic planning, process development and leadership…"
The author should abandon the conversational, peer-like approach of the first sentence, which is typified by...
Instead, he should merely state that he is responding to Smith's request for an IT Security Specialist and mention the location he saw it in (the "Times," apparently). The subsequent sentence, in which he states the requirements for the security position which he is hoping to apply for, should be restructured so that it will read less like the author is attempting to tell the recipient what the latter needs and more like the author is simply referring to his own credentials for the position. Ideally, the author should state the number of years of experience that he has engaging in the four facets of security he mentions in this sentence, which are strategic planning, process development and technical knowledge.
Another propensity that the author displays fairly frequently throughout this letter is the tendency to be a little vague. Having "in-depth" technical knowledge is great, but the cover letter could create greater impact by briefly stating those areas of technical knowledge. The final sentence of the introductory paragraph is fine, except for the fact that the author is once again displaying overconfidence by stating that he can make an "immediate contribution" to the recipient's organization. Such a statement is an assumption, and though while denoting self-assurance it is misplaced (since the position may require training or other endeavors that require taking up time).
In the listing of his qualifications, the author is…
