Satire on Terrorism and the TSA Since

Satire on Terrorism and the TSA

Since the tragic event of September 11, 2011s, security has been a top priority in the United States and towards this end; all manners of measures have been taken to ensure the security of airlines passengers. Certainly, the fact that box cutters caused such a tragic event to have occurred must necessary validate the measures taken by TSA, security for the nation's airlines. There are those who complain about the violations of privacy perpetrated on today's airlines passengers. For example, in a recent article published in Natural News it is reported that the Electronic Privacy Foundation Center (EPIC) has filed a lawsuit against the TSA "over its use of naked body scanners." (Adams, 2010) The lawsuit was filed in the District of Columbia Court of Appeals and asks the court to stop the U.S. government's use of naked body scanners. This lawsuit was filed under the Administrative Procedure Act, the Privacy Act, the Video Voyeurism Prevention Act, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, and the Fourth Amendment. (Adams, 2010, paraphrased) While there might be some validity to the need to file such lawsuits at the same time, it is necessary to consider the 'underwear bomber'. The underwear bomber whose name is Umar Farouk Abdulmatallab, a Nigerian Islamist, was caught attempting to board Northwest Airlines Flight 253 with plastic explosives hidden in his underwear and claimed that Al-Qaeda had supplied him with the bomb and trained him. Therefore, this individual highly trained in underwear bombing attempted to commit mass murder of U.S. citizens aboard an airliner and it would appear that TSA has some grounds to check the underwear of everyone boarding airliners and therefore are using naked body scanners to ensure that no individual boards a plane with explosives in their briefs. While TSA's method does seem to ensure that no one uses their underwear to commit terrorism there is a better way to ensure that this does not happen and quite simply, TSA should simply ban all passengers on airline flights from wearing underwear. Yes, precisely, no underwear allowed on airlines! This is a rational solution to combating terrorism on today's airlines flights. Why, with no underwear there would be no way to sneak explosives onto the planes because one could not stash a gun in one's underclothes if no one wore underwear! Therefore, this said, TSA should ban the wearing of panties, briefs, bras and slips on airliners. This would make a much quicker job of pat downs because everyone would be hanging free underneath their clothing and this would rid the TSA of the need of the naked body scanners. A ban on underwear on today's airline flights little would be left to the imagination and pat downs in addition to a quick glance would most assuredly ensure that no one was transporting any type of weapon or explosive beneath their clothing. Better yet, why not ban clothing all together on airline flights? Every passenger would simply be required to remove their clothing prior to the flight and there would be absolutely no chance whatsoever, that guns, explosives, or other contraband would make it on to the plane. This solution would make for an interesting flight indeed. With all passengers, wearing nothing other than their skin TSA would no longer need naked body scanners, pat downs before flights would become obsolete and waiting in long lines at the airport before boarding flights would be no more! Banning clothing while traveling on a jet is a brilliant solution to a government problem and one that would save a great deal of money and time. As well, today's airlines would realize a great profit becoming the most popular form of travel and especially for men. Think of it, no more wondering what the women in their designer clothes, stockings and high heels look like without their clothing because one could simply book a flight and enjoy the view while boarding the plane and during the flight. Imagine how men would then hope for a layover instead of dreading such an event. Therefore, all matters considered, it is the opinion on this writer that TSA should immediately move to ban the wearing of all clothing during flights.