Conflict Our Interpretations, Mediation Strategies and Communication

CONFLICT

Our interpretations, Mediation Strategies and Communication Types

The Nature of Conflict -- an introduction

What is Conflict?

Conflict as Perception

Conflict as Feeling

Conflict as Actions

What causes conflict?

Communication

Emotions

Values

Structure

Positive Communication

Interpersonal Conflict

Intrapersonal Conflict

Link between Interpersonal Conflicts and Effective Communication

Mediation and Dispute Resolution

The Nature of Conflict -- An introduction:

Conflict is a naturally existing problem in our society and the world as a whole. Conflict exists at all levels and it is so a certain extent quite natural and inevitable. With a functionalist approach, it can be said that the existence of conflict is somewhat important for the society. It is however an understatement to say that we live amidst conflict. Conflict is present at every level in society and people at every second are reassuring each other as to how they are having a "discussion" instead of a conflict when in reality this is often not the case. Even in organizations, many professionals are hired to ensure a conflict free planning and implantation process. Not everyone would agree with what the other person's point-of-view is and this is what may lead to internal conflicts. People sometimes hold a perception that admitting the existence of a conflict is a sign of weakness and failure and surrendering to hopelessness (Mayer, 2002).

This uncertainty about conflict is present as the basic challenge for those who attempt to resolve this. The way the nature and context of conflict is analyzed represents the individuals own attitude and approach towards the problem. The perception of a situation may vary from individual to individual and everyone would judge it from various aspects. Conflict may be seen as a feeling, a disagreement, an argument or an issue that needs to be dealt with. The first and foremost thing in order to resolve the conflict is to judge and assess the nature of the conflict appropriately and handling it according to that. The essential tools in this analysis are the interactions that contribute to the building of conflict. The roots and the origin of conflict can be identified using this and the participants as well as the context can be easily analyzed.

Sometimes, we indulge in conflict subconsciously and make certain assumptions about its nature that may or may not be true. It depends on the situation whether the assumption end up being helpful or limit the ability of an individual to analyze the situation properly. These assumptions may also hinder one from considering other options of analyzing the situation and finding solutions for it. There is an increasing need for challenging these assumptions and be practical in the way a situation is judged. As the way of handling situations and resolving issues becomes more powerful and deeper, the values that create peace in society are also instilled and carried out more effectively. However, in order to achieve this stability and effectiveness, individuals need to be open to acceptance and change regarding their thinking and mindsets. The framework to understand conflict is a lens through which the conflict becomes clearer and easier to analyze. There are different ways to look at the same situation and amend it accordingly.

What is Conflict?

Conflict exists as a three dimensional perspective which involves three stages, those being cognitive (perception), emotional (feeling) and behavioral (action). This approach helps in the analysis and understanding of the depth of the conflict and it helps one proceed in various dimensions depending on the scenario (Mayer, 2002).

Conflict as Perception:

Seeing conflict as a perception, it is basically someone's understanding and belief that what he/she beliefs and wants are incompatible with someone else's desires. This cognitive and subjective feeling of someone gives rise to conflict when the other person seems to have a different opinion. This can be one sided or from both ends. However it is justified to consider the existence of conflict even if it is so from one side because that individual will act according to what he perceives and feels if he judges that the other person may not have the same interests as himself.

Conflict as Feeling:

Conflict may also result in an emotional reaction and gives rise to a disagreement between two individuals. Emotions such as fear, sadness, depression, bitterness,, anger or hopelessness may be felt as a result of disagreements and conflicts. If these emotions are felt in relation to someone or something that happened with someone, it is easily recognizable that conflict does exist. Sometimes people start arguing and fighting just for the sake of it and the true purpose is lost somewhere along the way. In such situations too, they are in conflict because they acknowledge that they are and they feel that way. It often begins with one person acknowledging that they are in a conflict and his feelings and attitude towards the other automatically change and are thus reciprocated for the other individual as well (Mayer, 2002).

Conflict as Actions:

Conflict may also be a result of the actions that we take in order to express how we feel and how we perceive things. Sometimes in order to get what we want, we have to interfere with someone else's motives and desires. This is also a direct way to provoke any action against someone that would bring up conflict and may end up being violent or destructive. In opposition to this, it should be encouraged to have a behavior which is constructive, friendly and calm. But either way, getting what one wants may encourage a person to go to all extents and may create situations that would lead to conflict in the process.

The nature of conflict is such as to bottle up the emotions on both sides eventually. If one person holds something against the other, his attitudes and reactions will change which will eventually get the message across and conflict igniting between both of them. The conflict is not a stagnant situation and people often get in and out of conflict. Alongside they keep changing the three dimensions as well. Even though the three dimensions are linked together, it does not necessarily mean that the change in one dimension will cause a directly proportional change in the other dimension as well. For instance, a person who is charged with emotional conflict may eventually lose track of the actual reason why he was fighting in the first place and fail in the process of judging the nature of the conflict itself. This makes conflict very confusing and quite unpredictable (Mayer, 2002).

There are situations whereby the motive of two people may differ from each other but they are actually unaware of what the person's plans are. This can only turn into a conflict when either one is aware of the differing opinions. Conflict, therefore, only exists when one of the three dimensions come into action and there are possibilities of any type of conflict occurring. Everyone has a potential to have a conflict with the various people they come across every single day of their lives. The interaction of people gives ground for this possibility because at the end of the day, it is natural for humans to have differing opinions and points-of-view and we all agree to disagree. Therefore, it can be agreed that conflict takes place only when it manifests itself into either one of the three dimensions mentioned.

What causes conflict?

Conflict has many causes and sources of origin. It is one of human being's basic instincts and it's a part of our nature to involve in conflicts and disagree with one another. Conflict arises from the different structures and institutions in society, the differences in power and authority, the struggle to achieve what one wants. The theories that are devised are just theories and what the basic focus point is how to prevent this from occurring and get the insight to the theories where they can be practically applied. If one is successful in identifying a framework to get down to the source and origin of the conflict, it will be quite easy to handle the situation and get through it. When we are able to identify the root cause of the conflict and the forces that made it up, it become easy to identify what measures should be taken in order to solve it.

The centre of conflict is usually the desire to fulfill the human needs. People tend to engage in conflict behavior because they have certain needs that are inconsistent to the others. Sometimes this conflict cannot be resolved or ended until these needs are either fulfilled or compensated for in any way. However, the needs do not exist in a vacuum space. They are present alongside other factors that contribute to the generation of conflict. To successfully address the needs of an individual and achieve them, the forces are to be worked through and it needs to be analyzed how each force affects the person in achieving what he/she wants. The five basic ways in which conflict arises among people are: the way people communicate with each other, emotions they express, the values they hold, the structures within which it occurs and the history and background of the situation (Mayer,2002).

Communication:

Humans tend to be creatures that often have imperfect communication processes. This imperfection is sometimes the source of conflict, whether it is the compatibility of interests or any other reason, it often becomes hard to resolve. Human communication has gained a lot of interest and people have researched on it in order to come up with a literature and come up with the reasons why communication often fails, they also attempt to come up with a resolution for it. What these researchers try to find out is why it is hard for humans to communicate what they want and how it ends up into a difficult situation when they are emotionally charged. It has been found that often the problem lies with the communicator who thinks that he has clearly communicated his message and it has gotten across when in reality this may not be the case and this is what leads to conflict. When the other person ends up acting in the opposite way or do not end up following the instructions, they are associated with bad faith and people misinterpret their actions. This clearly shows how communication can give rise to conflict.

There are many factors that may contribute to the problem of communication. Some of them may be that of culture, age, gender, social background, etc. these can prove to a barrier for an effective communication process. People tend to rely on assumptions that they make about someone, or they may stereotype someone and implement these in their communication process and this greatly affects their interactions and level of effective communication. They bear a conclusion in their minds before they get their message across and give the other person enough time to interpret and act upon it. At certain times, the communication process may take a while to be successful, it may take the person some time to focus and act upon it and whilst this, the other person may get annoyed, irritated or pass a judgment which may lead to conflict.

Emotions:

Emotions are another root cause of conflicts. If humans possessed the capability of being rational at all times and staying calm in handling situations, it would prevent a lot of conflicts that arise. Rationality is essential in order to make the way along in a conflict and preventing such situations from arising in the first place. At times, behavior seems to control our emotions and sometimes it is the other way round. However, both play an equally important role in contributing to the energy of the conflict. They can bring up strength, courage, perseverance, in order for the person to become part of the conflict situation (Saunders, 2007).

Emotions may be generated as a result of previous experiences or by people's actions and interactions. When in an argument, we usually act on our first instincts and do not think rationally enough to analyze the context of the situation and what the best thing to do is. The emotions are often charged with anger, fury and revenge. Even though the actions taken at the moment might be regretted later, but this is rarely ever kept in mind with the situation going on. When a conflict takes place, it is common to have individual emotional contents on the disputants 'experience. To do this, it is important to vent out the emotions and feelings somehow in order to feel better as well as walk in someone else's shoes to know exactly how they feel. However, ventilating one's emotions is often not enough. It is a better option to discuss the issue and solve it out rationally and calmly and work to actually solve it and find solutions such as establishing a safe environment for the emotions that are felt. Sometimes, emotions have to be suppressed altogether if the situation is not such that the emotions be vented out.

Values:

Values are the beliefs that an individual holds about what is right and wrong, what his principles are and how to spend his life. A conflict which results from a disagreement about values is often very charged up and can get heated up to quite an extent. People often hold their values to be very important and close to them and when these are attacked, it seems like they have directly been attacked and thus it leads to conflicts. Thus, it becomes hard for anyone to compromise on it and they feel that it is a question mark on their integrity and strength.

Some conflicts may be rooted from actual value differences but the disputants still hold a choice as to how they label that. Often in instances where the individual is unsure about themselves and do not have a clear understanding, they are tempted to label it as right or wrong and begin to argue for nothing. When this is the case, it narrows down the acceptance phase of a person and closes the co-operative skills where he is open to listen to the other's point-of-view. It is often easier to take part in a conflict when the person views himself as honorable, virtuous and knows what is good and the opponent proves to be evil, malicious and sides with the bad. Such a situation makes it easier for the conflict to escalate. Although values are a source of conflict, there are sometimes barriers on the escalation of conflict. Disputants may come up with a common ground where they share certain beliefs and values and have relations on which they have to compromise and put in joint efforts to end the conflict (Mayer, 2002).

Structure:

Another source of conflict is the structure within which the conflict takes place. The decision making process, the time constraints, resources, communication mediums and physical environment are all parts of the structure. Even in situations where individuals come together on common grounds to co-operate, the structure may cause conflict between both of them. This structure makes it difficult for both of them to compromise and struggle to settle things. Other elements that are a part of structure and can be a source of conflict are the proximity of the disputants, the resource distribution, and the accessibility to information, organizational structure, and political parameters. It is possible to resolve the conflict using these structures but sometimes it is the acceptance of the structures that can resolve the conflict.

History:

Conflict is not in any way separate from the historical background of the situation. The people who are involved in the conflict obviously have a history and a context in which they are related and how they influence the course of the conflict. History is the sole provider for the actual momentum of the dispute. The results are often distorted and biased if the historical background is not emphasized on. It may sometimes seem that history is a determinant of the actual conflict but this is not always true. Certain conflicts that arise within countries or religion or even political parties have conflict that are much more serious and require a detailed analysis of the historical background because without that, it would be very difficult to judge the situation and find a solution to it.

Positive Communication:

Positive communication can result in avoiding conflicts and producing better results. As mentioned above, miscommunication is one of the key reasons why conflicts may occur at different levels. Poor techniques used to communicate the message can be one of main reasons why the message does not get across properly. This miscommunication with boss, colleague, and employees can prove to be quite a problem for organizations and can create a lot of damages. It can also sometimes lead to the end of a relationship, contract or partnership (Cesaratto, 2006).

Some ways in which this miscommunication can be solved and positive communication techniques can be put to use to avoid conflict are as follows:

Attentiveness: Paying attention to what is going on and clearly listening to the instructions is an important aspect of avoiding misunderstandings that lead to conflict. Before coming up with a judgment or opinion, it is necessary to hear the other person out and then reflect back on it if it still seems unclear or inappropriate. Asking questions to reconfirm or clear out something that has not been conveyed properly is a part of paying attention and verifying facts that can cause disputes later. Constantly interrupting someone in the middle of the conversation may end up in the speaker losing track of what was being said (Wakeland, 2006). For instance, in a business meeting if one colleague is explaining something, it is better to listen attentively and not down what is unclear and ask the speaker later rather than stopping him constantly which will prove to be a hindrance in completing what he was saying. Creating positive communication skills is essential in maintaining a conflict free environment.

Body Language: Body language may not seem all that important but in reality it holds a lot of significance in ensuring positive communication. The body language shows the other person that the listeners are attentively listening and it ensures that they get what is being talked about. The body language of the listeners also retains the interest and pace of the speaker and keeps him focused on what he is there for (Ladkin, 2011).

Summarizing and Clarifying: The process of summarizing and clarifying ensures that the speaker and listener are on the same track and they agree with each other, as this can lead to problems later when either of them disagrees with the other or if there is confusion. Taking time to summarize and understand all the points makes it easier to avoid things from going off course later and it leads to effective communication and avoidance of conflicts.

Non-Verbal Communication: The non-verbal communicating process is the message we convey without actually saying anything. Maintenance of eye contact, having the right posture are a few ways in which the non-verbal communication ensures the positive communication and ensures that the message gets across affectively.

Right medium of communication: To ensure that the message gets across to the person intended and is also understood, it is essential to give importance to the communication medium used which usually depends on the kind of message and the person who it is intended for. If it is an order to do something and is clear cut then feedback may not be that important, but there are certain instances where the feedback is important to ensure the successful delivery of the message.

Interpersonal Conflict:

Interpersonal Conflict refers to a situation whereby we get into conflict with other individuals. This is an external form of conflict which exists between two or more people due to various reasons. Be it an emotional strain, a business problem, a random fight or anything else. It can exist between any relation, spouses,, siblings, coworkers, etc. This is the kind of conflict that usually comes to mind when conflict is talked about. We automatically assume that it is among people who have differences in opinions or other issues (Saunders, 2007).

Intrapersonal Conflict:

Intrapersonal conflict, as Lewicki (2007) suggests, is also known as intrpsychic conflict because it exists within one self. It is a result of one's thought process, an internal mind conflict, ideas, struggle with emotions and predispositions. It is a clouded state whereby the person experiences a muddle up of emotions and ideas and argues within one self about any issue.

Link between Interpersonal Conflicts and Effective Communication:

The occurrence of conflict is a bitter reality of life. However, sometimes it is not so bad and may prove to be beneficial. A relationship that is tolerant to conflicts and successfully resolves them is far better than the smooth and stable relationship that faces no problems. Conflict is therefore, a critical stage of any relationship which tests it participants and brigs them closer. Conflict, for the time being causes resentment, hostility, hatred and anger. If successfully resolved, these emotions are short lived but they sometimes have farfetched effects and last long enough to maintain these emotions. Communication is what can help cure and resolve these issues. The evaluation of whether the relationship is healthy depends on the extent of the conflict and how well the participants resolve it (Bellafiore, 2010).

Mediation and Dispute Resolution:

There are numerous conflict resolution strategies that can be identified, and these vary in coerciveness. To solve a conflict, it can be talked out, compromised on, arbitrated, and resolved by legal or political force or by violence as a last resort. Moore (1996) focuses on the mediation strategies to help with conflict management. Sometimes, when the groups in conflict cannot resolve the conflict on their own, a mediator may be called in to negotiate the situation. Mediation is referred to the process whereby intervention is required in a negotiation or conflict situation of a third party who fails to resolve the problem on its own. This mediator has no direct control over the decision making process by helps out in devising an end result which is acceptable by all those involved in the conflict. Moore goes on to describe the different levels at which these mediators can jump into action depending on the intensity of the conflict and how serious the issue has become.

There are three main mediating roles that Moore has outlined. Those are social network mediators, authoritative mediators and independent mediator. The social networking mediators are members of the society that are linked to the groups involved in the conflict. It can not exactly be claimed that they are always fair but they can play an active role in stabilizing relationships over the long-term. They participate in coming up with an agreement and put social pressure on the groups so that they resolve their issues. The authoritative mediators are the ones that the groups may look up to or have authority over such as a boss. These authoritative figures may have a neutral interest in the situation and may just come in to settle the agreement or they may even be involved in it themselves and need a certain kind of result which is why they come in to help sort the conflict. Such figures usually have the power o influence the outcome of the situation and can enforce the agreement on the parties. The independent mediators are those that are entirely neutral and have no previous links or relationship with either of the parties involved. Their decisions are thus unbiased and are used to come up with a joint agreement acceptable by all those involved. These independent mediators may come in on voluntary basis to help resolve the conflict.