Gender Relations Issues -- (500

GENDER RELATIONS ISSUES -- (500 to 750 words requested)

In "Let's Talk about Gender, Baby" Wendy Kaminer makes the argument that contemporary American vocabulary perpetuates sexism. The author provides several examples of common phrases such as "woman doctor" that are inherently sexist because there is no counterpart for male physicians. The only reason that the phrases "woman doctor" exists is because, in our society, doctors are presumed to be male. Likewise, in "Men at Work" Anna Quindlen details the ways that gender roles continue to define the respective family and responsibilities of married men and women. One of the most significant ideas in the two pieces is the notion referenced by Kaminer that our societal value system "vacillates between Puritanism and permissiveness" in so far as issues of sexual morality are understood. That raises a problem that is actually much more significant than sexism in language and family roles.

Notwithstanding all of the progress that has been made in the realm of gender equality in employment law and other areas of American society, there is an important feature of sexism that is still dominant in American society: namely, gender-based sexual morality. Generally, females are socialized to accept the more Puritanical view of personal sexual morality and males are socialized to enjoy much different permissive rules. It should be no mystery why so many sexual relationships lead to disappointment for at least one of the individuals and much more often the female. This gender-based differential in sexual morality mores virtually guarantees the perpetuation of predatory pursuit of sexual relations because women are encouraged to express their sexuality primarily in significant relationships. By contrast, because men are socially rewarded for sexual conquests, they typically conceal that their only interest in some women is superficial and exclusively sexual, because men learn that many more women will consent to sexual relations within the context of a sincere "romantic" interest from a man than in the context of an honest acknowledgement that the man is uninterested in the women besides sexually.

Essentially, the way we socialize males and females differently about sexuality creates natural incentives for men to purposely misrepresent their interest in women because feigning a sincere or "romantic" interest is usually the most direct path to a sexual relationship; often, it may be the only path. Unfortunately, ordinary experience is enough to demonstrate how often that dynamic encourages deceptive behavior by men in the pursuit of sex. Put simply, most of the time that women are receptive to sexuality with a particular male partner, they would be at least potentially interested in more of a relationship with that particular man; otherwise, they are much less likely to become sexual with him. The same is not as often true about men: they do not necessarily restrict their sexual conquests to women with whom they might consider a relationship.

Possibly the most damaging aspect of gender-based differential sexual morality is that it promotes a psychological stigma that results in a conscious distinction between so called "nice" girls who are sexually conservative and "loose" girls who ignore or expressly reject social rules about women and casual sex. Purely from an objective observation of the narcissism of males in this regard, it is fascinating that men who want casual sex and who actively pursue casual sex, often somewhat dishonestly, can lose respect for the "immorality" of a woman for consenting to have sex with them.