Sex, Lies, And Conversation
The dynamic between men and women has been one of the most powerful things in the world for centuries if not millennia. Men have traditionally been in power while women have struggled against their oppression to forge a place for themselves in the world. Although we have progressed in society to the point where women have reached a place nearing equality, if we look at the people in control of the world governments and the CEOs of large corporations, it is still largely a man's world. The short piece by Deborah Tannen (2012) entitled "Sex, Lies, and Conversation" deals with the dynamic between men and women, particularly in marriages and how the relationship between man and woman is different in public than it is behind closed doors. Above all other issues that might come up in a relationship, the author expresses the belief that communication, or lack thereof, is the predominant factor in determining if a relationship will end.
At a gathering of people, the narrator listens as a man who has been talking the entire evening tells the roomful of people that within the home, his wife is the talkative one (Tannen 2012,-page 423). The room laughs because at the gathering he has not stopped talking while his wife has barely uttered a word. The man and woman it seems are not functioning well as a couple in their communication with one another. Although the people in the room are amused by what they hear and how it is different from...
Perhaps they laugh not because of the irony of his statement, but because they see their own failed relationships in what he says and recognize such words as symptomatic of a relationship that may very well be coming to an end. According to the experts cited in the piece, "Most of the women [Catherine Riessman] interviewed -- but only a few of the men -- gave lack of communication as the reason for their divorces" (2012,-page 423). Communication is one symptom of discord in a relationship. People who do not talk to one another tend to grow apart and this leads directly to infidelity, neglect, and other basis for the relationship to flounder and ultimately to end. It is interesting though that according to the research conducted that it is the women who most realize this problem in their relationships. Most relationships will end; that is an unfortunate aspect of the interactions and intimacies that develop between people. When people get together, they have to learn to talk to one another, how to deal with conflicts, and ultimately how to build a future with one another. If and when it turns out that two people are not meant to be, things can get ugly. What once had been a pairing of affection and love can descent into virulent and even violent hatred for the other person. Part of the reason for this is that people cannot communicate with one another. They cannot translate what it…
