Sexual Orientation of a Person Should Not Be a Consideration in Child Custody Proceedings

Sexual Orientation of the Parent and Child Custody Proceedings

Many scholars have noted that the struggle that has ensued in the last few decades regarding equal rights and treatment for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community is akin to the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. The struggle is fundamentally the same: portions of Americans are being denied their rights for superficial reasons that they cannot control. Just as one cannot control one's skin color, one can also not control one's sexual orientation. The fact that one's sexual orientation is even a question in child custody proceedings today is something that is going to be considered unfathomable in the decades to come. This paper intends to demonstrate without a doubt that one's sexual orientation, just like one's skin color or even one's religious beliefs, does not impact a child's well-being and should have no weight or bearing on child custody proceedings.

Those who question the ability or safety of gay parenting are largely those who represent bigoted beliefs. In 2012, "Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum told a New Hampshire audience that children are better off with a father in prison than being raised in a home with lesbian parents and no father at all. And last Monday (Jan. 9), Pope Benedict called gay marriage a threat 'to the future of humanity itself,' citing the need for children to have heterosexual homes" (Pappas, 2012). These sentiments merely represent the fear and bias of the speakers and demonstrate, lest we forget, that we still live in an imperfect world. These highly prejudiced speakers, a politician and a Pope, were using their very public status to sway the thoughts and opinions of masses of people towards their own fear-based opinions. Neither person had done any research or conducted or gathered any social science data on the subject. The data is there, however, and speaks for itself.

In fact, social science research demonstrates that gay parents may in fact have an advantage over straight parents. Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University, researches parenting in the LGBT community finding that gay parents, "tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents… Gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident, compared with an almost 50% accidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals…That translates to greater commitment on average and more involvement" (Pappas, 2012). This is a truly major point that should not be glossed over. The fact that members of the gay community have to make such a proactive choice regarding whether they will have kids is truly demonstrative of the fact that they have to be more invested and more desirous of raising kids. They have to have a greater commitment to being a parent and a greater understanding of the responsibilities involved. Unlike their straight counterparts, it's nearly impossible for gay parents to have children by accident or to be forced into a parenting role by circumstance. All of these factors have an impact in making a more clued in and more devoted mother or father.

One massive advantage that gay parents can offer their children is that they provide a home which is free from bias and prejudice. Gay parents provide children with a living message regarding social tolerance and treating others fairly. "And while research indicates that kids of gay parents show few differences in achievement, mental health, social functioning and other measures, these kids may have the advantage of open-mindedness, tolerance and role models for equitable relationships, according to some research. Not only that, but gays and lesbians are likely to provide homes for difficult-to-place children in the foster system, studies show" (Pappas, 2012). This is of course not to imply that straight parents aren't capable of bringing those exact same qualities to the parenting table, they're just unable to do it in the same effortless manner that members of the LGBT community are. These findings are echoed elsewhere and in other studies: teenagers who grow up in same sex household report feeling more connected at school, more so than their straight-household counterparts; other studies report that when children who come from LGBT homes talk about emotionally challenging topics, they are more resilient, compassionate and tolerant (aamft.org, 2013).

Notably, other studies have found that other factors impact a child's sense of well-being and development than their parents' sexual orientation. This should not come as a surprise to anyone. There are more relevant factors that influence the life and well-being of child than whether their parent is straight or gay. "Many studies have demonstrated that children's well-being is affected much more by their relationships with their parents, their parents' sense of competence and security, and the presence of social and economic support for the family than by the gender or the sexual orientation of their parents,' Siegel writes with coauthor Ellen Perrin, a Tufts University professor of pediatrics and director of developmental and behavioral pediatrics" (Barlow, 2013). This finding is akin to bringing all those who dissent or deride gay marriage back down to earth. There are more real-life factors which can influence the development of a child, such as whether or not his parents are employed, or whether or not this parent is happy or depressed, values education or does not. Siegel explains that the evidence strongly points to the fact that the fears about gay parents are largely groundless; it will take time however, until the high courts and state legislatures catch up to the science: scientifically, and politically there needs to be an end in the questioning of whether or not people who are homosexual can raise children or be adoptive parents.