Shared Talking Styles Herald New Lasting Romance

Talking Styles

In order to create lasting, worthwhile relationships with people individuals must possess the ability to communicate effectively. At least this is the argument posited by Spitzberg (1999). Further, he states that interpersonal communication or rather the lack thereof is what creates the potential for harmful situations when humans interact (Spitzberg 1999,-page 20). Without the ability to communicate effectively and meaningfully with others, it becomes unlikely that an individual will be well adjusted as an adult. Conversely, individuals who do possess those qualities will likely develop relationships which are highly rewarding, including their relationships with family members, friends, and in their romantic relationships. The article "Shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance" by author Bruce Bower (2010) postulates that people who can converse along the same lines are more likely to become a romantic pairing.

It makes sense that people who have the same communication level and those who have the same interests will get along better and have more cohesive relationships. Bower (2010) suggests that there is a deeper meaning behind similar word choices which also makes sense. According to the research conducted by University of Texas at Austin, "Conversation partners' related use of function words -- such as pronouns, articles, conjunctions, prepositions and negations -- augurs well for mutual romantic interest and stable relationships" (Bower 2010). People who have more extensive vocabularies and use those words around individuals who use a smaller vocabulary will often be identified as snobbish, while those with limited vocabulary around those with a more extensive one are viewed as less intelligent. The disparity between common word choices creates a negative impression on at least one side of the dynamic and then impacts the quality of the relationship as a whole.

Given that this is the case, it is a logical progression to assume that this is also true on a smaller scale. Similarity in language usage is indicative of a stronger linguistic connection. The article also discusses how people in a fierce argument will also have a high level of language matching. This is interesting because you do not think of two people fighting as being at all connected. The act of the argument itself should indicate that the two individuals do not have any level of connectivity. Bower (2010) states that the reasons that they have this high degree of level matching is because in an argument, you are listening more carefully to what the other person is saying. Therefore, you are more likely to repeat large quantities of that discourse, including higher and lower order terminologies because of the way you are hearing them. Albeit, in that context, you are likely listening so intently to the conversation in order to hear things you disagree with so that you have more ammunition to fight against their verbal opponent.

On the "Language Style Matching" website, the report retrieved indicates that there is indeed a correlation between the level of language similarity of individuals and the quality and potential success of their relationship (Pennebaker). A lasting romantic relationship is indicated by the following characteristics: matching conversational style, emotional tone, and the pitch of voice and speech used within conversations with that person. Although my own relationships may not be of the same epic quality as the ones listed in the article, Elizabeth and Robert Browning and Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes, but the same principles underscore my relationships. If we do agree that language style matching is an important property of relationships, then it can be stated that language style matching is a way to predict the quality of interpersonal communication between those two individuals.