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Shirley King
Traditionally spanking was part of standard parenting methods. A seemingly innocent, harmless type of discipline, spanking would provide the child with a physical memory and response. Parents probably thought they were doing their child a favor by spanking them, which is why many parents still say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." Shirley King disagrees with the traditional use of corporal punishment on children. Stating that spanking has several undesirable effects on the child's psyche and on the parent-child relationships, the author urges her readers to avoid using spanking as a legitimate means of punishment. Her reasoning makes perfect sense. Although I was never predisposed to spanking my children, I might have used corporal punishment as an easy way out, a means to avoid verbal confrontations.
Directly dealing with the child's outbursts or misbehaviors creates a stronger sense of internalized discipline than spanking ever could. As King notes, spanking reduces the child's self-esteem. Spanking renders the child powerless. The spanking suggests that the child has no control over his or her body. Moreover, the spanking is a brutish, unnecessary display of force by the parent. Parents are authority figures but they should assert their authority judiciously to instill positive, non-violent values into their children. When a parent spanks a child he or she sends a negative message and essentially silences the child.
If the child is not treated with respect, he or she is also more likely to act out years later. As King points out, spanking diminishes the bond of trust between parents and their children. A child who is spanked grows up with a certain degree of fear. The parent who spanks the child will always seem like a formidable figure to the child, and as someone who can never be pleased or reasoned with. Even when the parent stops using spanking as a form of punishment the child will remember the pain. Ironically, the child will probably not remember the specific incident that triggered the spanking, which proves that spanking doesn't even work.
I will take what King says directly to heart. Talking with children when they misbehave and offering constructive alternatives to corporal punishment may seem like daunting tasks. However, raising a child in a nurturing, positive, supportive environment should be the duty of all parents.
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