Short screenplay: structure and narrative techniques

INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - DAY FLORENCE O'HARE, a petite blonde, plays with her smartphone. She looks up at the clock, which reads 3:09. Her green eyes move slowly around the room at the diverse group of people, ultimately resting on the man sitting next to her: her boyfriend, DAMIEN GRAMMATICUS. Damien is deeply engaged in his smartphone too. He briefly looks up to meet eyes with Florence, and they smile slightly but warmly at each other. Florence watches the second hand of the hospital clock tick, tick, tick, and the sound of Damien's game coincides with the sound of the ticking clock. NURSE (from the administration station) Miss O'Hare? Florence calmly places her phone in her purse. The bedroom eyes of another man in the waiting room lock onto hers, and they share a smile before Florence walks to the nurse's station. Without a glance backwards, she enters the heavy doors with Damien in tow. INT. HOSPITAL PRIVATE ROOM DOCTOR She's doing fine; you have nothing to worry about Miss O'Hare. FLORENCE So does this mean she can leave today? DOCTOR I don't see why not. DELORES BAXTER sits erect on the bed, her purse in her lap. DELORES Of course I'm ready. DOCTOR (smiling) I'll call for the nurse. We'll get you a wheelchair and then you're outa here. INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - DAY Florence and Damien follow the nurse wheeling Mrs. Baxter through the waiting room towards the main entrance. Florence looks over to the seat where the handsome stranger was once sitting. The chair is empty. INT. HOUSE PARTY - NIGHT Florence, Damien, SHAYLA, ANDREW, and SCOTT hold bottles of beer in the lively party and chat. ANDREW There he is! MAX NIGHTINGALE, a Mona Lisa grin perched firmly on his handsome visage, walks toward Andrew. A soft light follows the charmismatic man, who turns the heads of male and female alike. MAX (going in for the man hug) Andy, ma main man! How's it goin' buddy? Max surveys the group of people. Florence catches his attention. The two lock eyes, creating palpable chemistry. MAX (eyes locked on Florence's) Who do we have here? ANDREW Well, you remember Shalya. Max pulls away gracefully from Florence's smiling gaze. MAX Of course. And...Scott, right? SCOTT That's right. ANDREW And this is Florence and Damien. I've known Florence since she was ten. MAX (again able to flirt with his eyes) Is that so? Florence only smiles. Damien nods his head in greeting, seemingly oblivious to the silent, subtle flirtation between Max and his girlfriend. SCOTT So hey, I heard you just got back from Vietnam was it? MAX Yeah, I spend a few weeks there, and in the Philippines. SCOTT Your first time? MAX Well, yeah. For Philippines no. I'd been there a few years ago when I had a Philippine girlfriend. Vietnam was cool. I really dug Laos though. SHAYLA Did you make it to Cambodia? MAX Of course! Just Anchor Wat and Phnomh Penh, though. The usual tourist circuit. I wouldn't mind going back, though. Max looks at Florence, who is simply listening with a big grin on her face. Damien has disappeared. MAX What are you so happy about? FLORENCE (a little embarassed) oh..nothing...just listening. SHAYLA Florence has been to all those places, right? FLORENCE Oh yeah. A long time ago. I used to live in Indonesia. MAX Is that right? FLORENCE Yeah, my parents worked in the embassy in Jakarta. When I was 19 I had to take a year off college--that's a long story--but anyway, I joined them there for a while. It was cool. I traveled around. Met people. Did stuff. It was awesome! I miss it. I miss the food! MAX Tell me about it. Damien returns with another beer. Florence's hands are empty. She glances meaningfully at Damien's beer. Max does the same. They both notice that Damien did not offer to bring back a beer for Florence. MAX Hey I'm ready for another. Want? FLORENCE Sure! MAX Anyone else? SHAYLA No, I'm good. ANDREW Nah I'm good thanks. Scott simply shakes his head. Max locks eyes with Florence again, smiling, and walks towards the bar. Florence seems aglow from the inside and bows her head as if someone might notice. EXT. HOUSE PARTY JACUZZI AREA - NIGHT Ambient techno plays. Soft, sexy laughter fills the air. Damien sits, sulking in a chair. Florence, Shayla, Max, Andrew, and Scott sit perched on the edge of the jacuzzi smoking a joint. They show each other pictures and other things on their phones, sharing jokes. Max edges closer to Florence. MAX Oh have you seen this? FLORENCE (laughs histerically) No! Ohmigod! Their shoulders and upper arms touch, and neither one pulls away. INT. FLORENCE'S APARTMENT - MORNING Florence drinks coffee while sitting in her atrium, alone. She thumbs through her Facebook and sees the friend request from Max. She smiles when she sees it and clicks "Accept." DAMIEN (V.O.) Hey hon. Florence looks up from her phone and clicks away from Facebook. FLORENCE Good morning Sunshine! Florence gets up to embrace Damien, smiling. They embrace warmly, without a kiss. FLORENCE We're going to see my mom today, right? DAMIEN (noticably uptight) I guess so. FLORENCE What? I'm not going to force you. What do you have going on? DAMIEN I don't know. I just wanna chill. I have some work I need to take care of. FLORENCE Like what? DAMIEN (slight edge of impatience and irritability) I don't know! Florence pulls away physically, and sits back down. She averts Damien's gaze and takes her phone out. Damien leaves the room. INT. FLORENCE'S KITCHEN - MORNING Florence brings her empty coffee cup to the machine, which is still on. When she notices the pot is empty, she puts it in the sink with noticable annoyance, and shuts off the machine. Damien is eating a bowl of cereal. Florence opens the fridge, which is stocked with a variety of international ingredients and products. She stands there staring at the food without real interest. FLORENCE Well. Maybe I'll just go over to mom's now. I'll grab something on the way. DAMIEN You sure? You don't mind if I don't come? Florence looks at him and makes a face. FLORENCE Do whatever you want. Of course I would prefer if you came, but if you have work to do... DAMIEN (irritation in his voice) Alright! I'll come! Sheesh! FLORENCE I said you don't have to! Especially if you are going to have an attitude, it's better if you stay home. DAMIEN What attitude? God why do you always do this to me? Damien pushes his chair away from the table and storms out of the room. Florence closes her eyes in exasperation, and walks to the bedroom. INT. FLORENCE'S BEDROOM Damien is angrily throwing clothes on the bed and getting dressed. Florence takes her top off. Neither looks at the other. FLORENCE Dame, you don't have to come, I'm serious. Damien puts his shoes on. DAMIEN I'll meet you in the car. Damien leaves the room while Florence continues to undress and poke through her closet. Her phone beeps. Carrying a few garments to the dresser, she glances at the notice. It's a Facebook notice from Max. MAX (MESSAGING VIA FACEBOOK) Great to meet you last night! Florence smiles. INT. DELORES'S HOUSE Music plays while Florence and her mom spend time together while Damien sulks in front of the television. Florence occasionally looks up at her boyfriend, but he never returns the glance. Delores watches them both. At 5PM, Delores and Florence hug. Delores waves goodbye to Damien. INT. FLORENCE'S BEDROOM - EVENING Florence undresses and changes into something comfortable to wear around the house. Damien watches television in the other room, and the volume is loud enough to carry into the bedroom. Florence picks up her phone and navigates to Facebook. She finds the post Max left. Florence smiles as she agonizes over every letter before responding simply, "Great meeting you too!" EXT. FLORENCE'S BACK PORCH Florence brings a box with her on the back porch. She sits down at the table and opens the box, which has a pipe, a lighter, and her bag of weed. She packs a bowl and smokes. After two hits, she sets down the bowl and stares up at the stars. She opens the stargazing app to try and figure out the constellations. When she sees Gemini in the sky, a Facebook notification pops up. It is from Max. MAX (MESSAGING VIA FACEBOOK) What are you up to tonight? FLORENCE Nothing much, just hanging out at home. You? MAX Wanna hang out? FLORENCE Sure...now? MAX Sure...why not? FLORENCE Well I'm not really dressed, I'll need a few minutes. MAX Not dressed is even better ;) FLORENCE :) Florence stares at her phone for a few seconds, expecting Max to say something. He does not respond. She picks up the pipe again, and as she inhales, another beep is heard. She looks at the message, which this time contains an image. She clicks on it to zoom in. It is a picture of Max, wearing jeans but no shirt. He dons that sexy Mona Lisa smile he had on the first time she saw him. His left hand is casually tucked into his jeans. His torso is smoking hot, lean but chiseled. Florence's eyes practically bulge and her smile is beaming. A sound from the screen door startles Florence, who noticeably jumps. DAMIEN You alright? FLORENCE Yeah! Damien sits down with Florence. He puts his arm around her, and she leans into him, gazing up at the stars. Damien looks down at her. They kiss deeply. INT. FLORENCE'S BEDROOM Florence emerges from the en-suite ready for more than just bed; she dons a sexy negligee. Damien is in bed, looking very asleep. Florence gets into bed. She nuzzles up against Damien, who barely takes notice. He mumbles something. Florence caresses him, her hand moving down his torso. She is met with no response. Wide awake, Florence takes her phone with her into the bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror, and takes off her shirt. Posing, she smiles at herself and then decides to take a sexy half-naked shot in the mirror. She is about to send the photo to Max, but cancels the message and opens the door to the bedroom. She walks through the bedroom and into the hallway. We follow Florence through the house towards the back yard. She opens the screen door. EXT. FLORENCE'S BACK PORCH Florence prepares another bowl outside. Her phone reads 3AM. She opens her phone and looks at the three sexy shots she took of herself. Selecting one, she prepares another message for Max and this time, she closes her eyes, smiles, and hits "send." INT. FLORENCE'S BEDROOM Florence places her phone by the bedside table and gets into bed with the sleeping Damien. She checks one more time for messages. None have arrived. INT. FLORENCE'S BEDROOM - MORNING Light is filering into the bedroom. The bed is empty except for Florence, who stretches. Her nose crinkles at some aroma in the air. Damien appears at the door. He carries a cup of coffee. DAMIEN Coffee? FLORENCE mmmmm Damien brings her a cup and sets it on the bedside table, next to her phone. Florence glances over, and then looks up at Damien. FLORENCE Thank you. DAMIEN No worries. I've been up since 7:30. Florence checks the time on her phone, holding the screen strategically away from Damien. The clock reads 10:45. Florence sits upright. DAMIEN Well, I better get back to work. See ya! FLORENCE Thanks for the coffee hon. Florence gets up and goes to the bathroom. INT. FLORENCE'S BATHROOM Florence is peeing when she hears a familiar beep from her phone. Excitedly she wraps up her business, hastily drying her hands on the towel. INT. FLORENCE'S BEDROOM She clicks her phone to see a Facebook message. Only this time it is Shayla. SHAYLA (via Facebook message) Hey chica! What you up to today? FLORENCE (via Facebook message) Just got up...what about you? SHAYLA Meeting Andrew and his friend Max from the party, we're going to Yardbird for lunch... FLORENCE I can probably swing that. SHAYLA What's Damien up to? FLORENCE Not sure, probably working. SHAYLA Ok well hope to see you guys! We'll probably show up around 12:30 or 1. FLORENCE Gotcha. Florence pokes through her closet, tossing ten different outfits on the bed before settling on something that shows off her cleavage. INT. FLORENCE'S APARTMENT - DAY Damien is working at the computer. Florence walks in, ready to go. DAMIEN Going somewhere? FLORENCE Wanna meet me and Shayla and a couple of other people for lunch? DAMIEN Now? FLORENCE Yeah she just messaged me. DAMIEN Well obviously I can't. FLORENCE You gotta eat. Can't you spare just an hour. DAMIEN (annoyed) No! I can't. FLORENCE OK, do you mind if I go? DAMIEN No! Just go. Florence walks out the front door. INT. YARDBIRD RESTAURANT - DAY The restaurant teems with people. Florence walks in. She spies Shayla waving to her from the table. Florence walks over. Shayla, Andrew, another woman DELILAH, and Max are already seated. Max and Delilah are obviously hooked up. Max barely glances up to say hello. ANDREW Hey sister! SHAYLA So glad you could make it! ANDREW (looking at her sexy garb) What's the big occasion? Andrew, Shayla, Max, and the other woman are dressed more casually than Florence. Florence flushes, realizing how out of place her outfit is. FLORENCE (averting Max's gaze) I just wanted to see you guys, is all. ANDREW Have you met Delilah before? You must have. FLORENCE No, I don't believe so. Florence looks at Deliliah, who has a giddy "I'm in love" look plastered on her face. DELILAH Pleased to meet you. FLORENCE Likewise. SHAYLA So Damien couldn't make it? FLORENCE No, he had to work. SHAYLA Well, have a seat, hon! Whatcha gettin? FLORENCE A cocktail, that's for sure! ANDREW That's my girl!