Socratic Method Dialogue Tony: Hi

Socratic Method Dialogue

Tony: Hi Mark, I haven't seen you in quite some time.

Mark: Yeah, I've been busy trying to deal with my lecturers and tests and stuff. I was sort of on trial.

Tony: Really? What for?

Mark: Well, I was working on a project when Gary asked to see my essay so he could get some idea of how to do this. As it turns out, Gary didn't use my essay just for ideas. He copied the whole thing and handed it in as his own work. Of course Prof. Jennings noticed and both of us got into trouble.

Tony: Wow, that's friendship for you.

Mark: And you know, the worst it, I feel betrayed, because Gary was one of my best friends, and I was trying to be his friend by trusting him with my work.

Tony: Well, I guess that friendship's at an end now.

Mark: Totally. A friend doesn't do that to another friend, does he? What do you think real friendship is, Tony? I mean, try to define it for me.

Tony: Okay, let's see. Gary betrayed your trust by being dishonest. So I guess a friend would be someone who is trustworthy and honest. Your friendship with Gary would still have been alive if he had not betrayed your trust. The friendship from your side was trusting and honest.

Mark: But does trust and honesty exist only between friends? I mean, my professors trust me to hand in my own work. I honor that trust through my honesty - handing in work that is purely my own and acknowledging when I used outside sources. To some extent, trust and honesty are also supposed to exist between parents and their kids, right?

Tony: So you're saying that trust and honesty are part of friendship, but that they can't be used in a definition of friendship, because they exist in so many other relationships as well?

Mark: That's what I'm saying yes. Can you think of something else that might more exclusively define friendship?

Tony: What about forgiveness? Forgiveness is part of friendship. Suppose for example you forgive Gary for what he did - that would make you friends again, wouldn't it?

Mark: But doesn't that work the other way around? Shouldn't our friendship mean that I would forgive him in the first place, because of our friendship, rather than friendship being the result of my forgiveness?

Tony: I see what you mean. Maybe we could modify forgiveness to apply to less major things than the betrayal you suffered. Gary wasn't being a real friend to you - he used your friendship. I don't think that justifies forgiveness. But forgiveness between friends could be applied to common mistakes and shortcomings, such as irritating habits or something like that.

Mark: Maybe. Still, I think this also applies to a wider range of relationships than just friendship. What about being in love, for example? The feeling you have for a girl could override everything else and make you blind to her mistakes, right? Or what about the love of a parent? My mom's not blind to my mistakes, but she forgives me for them because she's my mother.

Tony: You're making this really difficult, aren't you?

Mark: I guess friendship is really difficult to define. Can you think of other definitions to apply to friendship?

Tony: Let me think. What about understanding and support? Surely you get these nowhere as deeply or as often as in friendship. A friend would support you in whatever you're going through. A friend would understand all of your moods and share all your good and bad times. There is no better support than a friend, is there? Take for example the thing with Gary. I'm providing you with understanding and support, because you're going through a difficult time. I haven't been through the same thing, but I understand because I'm your friend.

Mark: Okay, but support and understanding again are flawed, even in friendship. Nobody can be perfectly supportive and understanding. What if you for example were going through a rough time of your own? What if maybe your girlfriend broke up with you? You wouldn't be able to support me in my situation, because you'd need support of your own. Support can also come from more sources than just friends. I may find support from my priest, for example, and he certainly isn't my friend.