Marriage in the news

¶ … Stand by Forbidden Love" by Tristana Moore, we learn of a marriage between a brother and a sister in Germany, where incest is a crime. On the surface, such a marriage would be considered taboo all across the West. But this one is different. While Patrick and Susan are biological siblings, they did not grow up together and, in fact, did not even meet until they were adults.

Raised separately, but products of a broken family, they instantly developed a rapport which quickly grew into love. On an emotional level, their story is one that urges sympathy: rejected by society, despised by the law, their children taken and removed to foster homes -- the couple is struggling to overcome all odds in order to make their union work. On a social level, however, their union raises some uneasy questions: why is incest criminalized? Does the fact that they did not know one another until well into maturity make a difference? Who should decide such matters? If they are happy, would it be well to leave them alone? Does taking their children away harm them? These are issues that affect all society, not just this couple, because bringing new life into the world is a social act -- and blocking that act or disturbing it, as is obviously the case here, has ramifications for all. Who is guilty?

This story does not have much to do with economic vulnerabilities. It is not a story about a husband and a wife struggling to make ends meet by working two jobs. It is a story about a husband and a wife (who also happen to be brother and sister) struggling to cope with a social order that condemns their lifestyle. One's heart goes out to Susan, especially, who speaks with such a soft voice -- you can feel the sorrow that surrounds: it is evident even in their faces.

In the article "The Triumph of the Working Mother" by Stephanie Coontz in the New York Times, the working mother is viewed from the standpoint of emotional, social and economic vulnerabilities quite well. On the emotional level, it is reported that working mothers today are happier than non-working mothers. They are at lower risk for depression, sadness and all-around poor mental health. Their work outside the home gives them a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and financial assurance, whereas stay-at-home moms are more likely to suffer from depression. This article suggests that Betty Friedan was correct when she urged women to enter the workforce in order to find contentment.

On a social level, marriages seem to work best in which the mother works after giving birth. According to statistics, both mothers and fathers spend more time with their children when both mom and dad work than mothers and fathers in families where only the father works. The fact that both parents work outside the home means that both realize the need to be with their children and give "double" time, so to speak.