Managing conflict in organizational settings

Stress

The Roommates and the Desk

The issues in this conflict are primarily distress, as the complaining roommate is experiencing a lack of control over the situation (Abigail & Cahn, 2010, p. 128). While there are certain tangible elements to the conflict, i.e. The space available in the room and on the desks, the primary issues are intangible and related to overall beliefs of fairness, appropriateness, and what is "deserved" -- it is not simply that the complaining roommate does not have enough space for his computer and workspace, but that the other roommate is not yielding space or, in the complaining roommates perspective, taking a fair view of the situation. At the same time, power in this situation is being tangibly exercised by control of the space, and clearly the other roommate has greater power as he is controlling the physical resources in the room. Equalizing power might include marking out equal areas of space in the room and then allowing each roommate to use that space however he sees fit -- such as with the acquisition of a larger desk that will more comfortably fit in this space. Competition can be though of as being too self-directed -- overly concerned with one's own goals and ability to control situations, at the expense of others' legitimate needs and concerns (Abigail & Cahn, 2010, p. 133). Both roommates seem to be experiencing some of this issue, with even the complaining roommate arguing that he deserves more space because he has a bigger computer, which does not take the other perspective into account. This competition is leading to mistrust -- that one's values aren't being respected by the other -- which could be corrected by having both parties try to state the other's claims. Both roommates reacted defensively instead of in a supportive fashion through trying to find a solution that is mutually beneficial to both parties.

To Room or Not to Room

Again, the issue being experienced here is a lack of control over the situation, which has led to distress on the part of the complaining roommate (Abigail & Cahn, 2010, p. 128). This means the issues are almost entirely intangible; though there are tangible elements such as the unauthorized borrowing of the laptop, coming in late, etc., these are all acknowledged to be secondary elements of increasing frustration on the part of the complaining roommate, not actually primary causal issues of the conflict. There is not hyperstress based on the increasing activity load being caused by Elena's actions nor hypostress based on boredom from being left alone, but most definitely distress brought about by anticipation of the unknown and a lack of control over the future, namely the future of the roommate relationship between the complaining roommate and Elena (Abigail & Cahn, pp. 128-31). Some specific steps that complaining roommate might take to alleviate her stress in this situation would be to first fully acknowledge the activating event, namely Elena's indecision, and actually discussing this problem with Elena. Adjusting her beliefs about the issue, such as be reassuring herself that Elena's decision (or lack thereof) is not really a reflection on herself, would also help to alleviate unnecessary stress, with the consequences being that the complaining roommate could allow Elena to progress and grow even if it means a growing apart. Thus, the ABC model can be used to suggest specific actions to relieve stress. If both roommates could learn to say "no" (and to hear "no") with less difficulty, and perhaps if they chose a common goal they could work successfully towards together, would help them develop a more playful spirit and potentially eliminate the current conflict (Abigail & Cahn, 2010; p. 132).