Support Systems and Stress

Stress

When confronted with unforeseen challenges, disastrous events, crises, or a sudden loss of self-esteem, the body and the mind experience heightened stress. I need some stress to survive: such as to motivate me to work harder before final exams or to run across the street when a car is rushing at me. Yet sometimes I stress myself out unnecessarily and cause myself mental and physical anguish. The most recent event that led me to small personal breakdown was when I had to move. Moving is stressful during the best of times, but this move was harder than most because of the interpersonal situations that prompted it: a clash with my former roommate and not having enough money to cover my initial living expenses.

To deal with the stress, I sought solace in the social support systems I rely on most: my close friends and family members. I called my mom multiple times each day when I was first looking for apartments. When it came time to survey different living options I asked a good friend with a car to drive me around even though I knew I was taking time away from her busy schedule. Feeling guilty for burdening my friends and family ended up adding to my stress, and I nearly had a breakdown. On top of it all I had exams to study for, classes to attend, and athletics practice too.

I don't usually use drugs or alcohol to deal with stress. While I was going through the move, however, I went out several nights with friends and drank. I got drunk a few times. It helped but only temporarily. When I woke up with a hangover it was just one more thing to worry about, and one more thing to distract me from taking the action that would resolve my situation. From the moving experience I learned that I have not handled stress as well as I could have and am now aware of what I can do to improve my ability to deal with stressful life events. First, I need to expect the unexpected and remember that life will always throw punches. Second, I need to be able to address crises with calm. Getting worked up does not help me deal with problems and in fact only makes problems worse. Third, I can and will continue to rely on family and friends I trust as support systems, but without feeling guilty for it. If I practice these simple steps I can build the self-esteem necessary to respond to any stressful event with aplomb.