Survival of Fittest Couple Survival

Survival of Fittest Couple

Survival of the (not necessarily) fittest couple

In analyzing which couple of Robert G. Ryder's (1971) different 'cells' or couplings is most likely to stay together, and which couple most likely to separate, when using Gottman's scales of marital interaction and satisfaction, it is important to remember that a researcher conducting such an analysis is not passing judgment upon the relative health or fitness of the couple on a moral level. In other words, the researcher is not suggesting the couple least likely to separate is the couple that most directly embodies the author's social ideal of marriage. Stating a couple is more likely to stay together than another couple only suggests certain martial structures are more likely to remain cohesive and others are not, given certain social and personal circumstances and needs.

For example, when one postulates that the couple in Cell 2 of Ryder's study, a couple with a man of high effectiveness and high control, a self-identified competent husband paired with a self-described incapable wife, is likely to stay together, one merely is suggesting that this is the case that both couples provide needed emotional and practical functions for the other individual in the partnership. The supposed incapability of the wife satisfies the man's high need to manifest control over another individual, and reinforces the man's self-image that he is an individual capable of continued competence and dominance over the fate of another. The wife's sense of her lack of capability may facilitate her desire to stay in a relationship that is based upon her submissiveness to a man who 'seems to know what he is doing,' at least in her eyes. Also, she may be uncertain of her ability to economically sustain herself on an independent level in the job market, or even to secure another husband. Particularly if she is not sexually risk-taking or demanding of reinforcement from other men of her sexual attractiveness, marriage and a sense of purpose in a traditional feminine role might provide her with a niche she finds difficult to escape. Furthermore, as Gottman (1989) notes that happiness and stability is often reinforced by the martial cohesion towards attaining mutual goals, such as the rearing of children, if the union produces children this is even more likely to create stability. Also, commonality of age reinforces common social concepts of what a marriage should be like, thus creating further reinforcing social bonds between husband and wife. The reinforcement of reflective social identities such as the female self as yielding and the male as more dominant, as well as variables of age of this couple means it is the most likely to remain together for the next 3-4 years. Furthermore, the longer such a couple stays together, the more likely the pattern is to continue. A male individual with a high need for control coupled with a female dependant individual are likely to create a change-adverse marriage that reinforces both individual's constructed identities and creates a socially validated norm of a happy marriage.