I hate you, don't leave me: attachment and relationship dynamics

Kreisman and Straus explain the causes, behaviors, and treatment of the disorder as well as coping skills for dealing with a person with BPD. Although the relationship was turbulent and ended disastrously, it explained how and why a borderline behaves the she does. "Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has been in the official psychiatric lexicon only since 1980."Borderlines," according to the authors, are people who suffer from a weak sense of identity and a fear of abandonment; given to rapid mood swings, impulsive self-destructiveness and violent outbursts, they frequently have family backgrounds marked by alcoholism, child abuse or emotional distance. Kreisman, a psychiatrist who heads a BPD unit in a St. Louis hospital, and health writer Straus, speculate that the BPD diagnosis might be applicable to Marilyn Monroe, Adolph Hitler, T.E. Lawrence and Muammar al Qaddafi. They claim that BPD afflicts over 10 million Americans and is the most common disorder among hospitalized mental patients. This clinically written primer leaves the reader with the impression that BPD syndrome is a catchall category" (I hate you, don't leave me). Therefore, this book helps people to understand Borderline Personality Disorder in order to cope with its effects.

BPD was difficult to describe, diagnose, and there was a lack of treatment. However, Dr. Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus offer professional advice, helping victims and their families to understand. Some of symptoms consist of the following, which can cause more issues for those who are involved.

A shaky sense of identity sudden violent outbursts oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection brief, turbulent love affairs frequent periods of intense depression eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone

The book begins by describing the patterns of stormy relationships and cognitive splitting that are exhibited by many people with the disorder. It uses the eight criteria from DSM-III-R as the basis for diagnosis, which consist of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships; impulsiveness in potentially self-damaging behaviors, severe mood shifts; frequent and inappropriate displays of anger; recurrent suicidal threats or gestures, or self-mutilating behaviors; lack of clear sense of identity; chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom; and frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (p. 8). The authors explains them by illustrating stories of actual borderline clients. The use of cases is helpful because it personalizes the information and makes it more understand (I hate you, don't leave me review).

A large section of the book focuses on the etiology of BPD, exploring the contributions of family relationships, biological factors, and societal influences in the development of the disorder. BPD tends to span generations in families, and is most often passed down from mothers to daughters. Familial factors that are thought to be linked to the development of BPD include disturbed parent-child relationships, violence, and abuse (p. 47). The authors also describe the current culture as a "borderline society" that promotes BPD because of its fragmented structure, changing gender roles, increased divorce rates, and greater geographical mobility (pp. 63-64) (I hate you, don't leave me review).

The last three chapters deal with treatment and coping skills, which presents an emphasis on communicating with the borderline client. The authors present a system designed to facilitate this and that is called Support Empathy Truth (SET). (p. 101-103). The first stage, Support, is a personal statement of concern about the borderline person. Empathy is an acknowledgment of the person's feelings. Finally, there is Truth, which recognizes the existence of a problem and addresses more practical issues of how to solve it. The SET system is used to defuse unstable situations. From there, the authors provide suggestions about how to cope with certain scenarios and characteristics of the borderline patient (I hate you, don't leave me review).